I Need To Ask A Question Of A Submissive, If I May.

[fgarvb1]

Man ! I never thought I would be here, asking this!


I'm working on some fan fiction and I need to know what it's like to be on the receiving end of a flogging.

I've actually used a flogger, spread bar cuffs and assorted other stuff (insert WEG) a couple of times ( Heck, any country boy can use anything like a whip or restraints) on a woman.

But I really don't understand the attraction THAT well and no Ideal what something like that...that doesn't draw blood feels like.

I come from an abusive home and any thing like that for pleasure is a little foreign to me.

So can someone help me out?

This is NOT stroking material I'm asking for.

If you don't want to reply here than fgarvb1@yahoo.com

 

[Xelebes]

So you are asking what is the pleasure gained from pain that does not include bleeding? Or just pain in general?

 

[fgarvb1]

So you are asking what is the pleasure gained from pain that does not include bleeding? Or just pain in general?

Well sort of yeah, pleasure from pain, being punished.

The mental aspect of it also.

The person in the story is female.

She has some guilt issues.

 

[fgarvb1]

On a side note I'll never forget the first time I flogged a woman.

LOL!

I thought I was going to faint!

I was so afraid I was going to do some serious damage.

I had to try it out on my leg first so I could have some kind of gage.

How sad it that?

 

[leeroy jenkins]

Well sort of yeah, pleasure from pain, being punished.

The mental aspect of it also.

The person in the story is female.

She has some guilt issues.

I like pain and yes I receive pleasure from some of it. Doing that fire and needle play the pleasure is right there with the pain, you get a burst of endorphins while doing it. There is also the pain from flogging, I have never been yet, but its a different kind of pain for me. I was hit with a some sorta snapable metal, I guess I just like the feeling of being hit and the sensation of the pain it caused. I haven't really focused on why I like it, I just know I do and let it stand there.

I can see where your girl would feel guilty about wanting to be punish, its like she is just begging to be hurt and abused right?? I guess the guilt comes from having desires that are considered out of the mainstream and seeing herself as a freak because of it.

That is my 2 cents so I hoped it helped some.

 

[Kajira Callista]

pain is pleasure, not punishment

 

[fgarvb1]

Let's just say she was a redhead at onetime, and the show aired its last episode this month.

 

[fgarvb1]

pain is pleasure, not punishment

Considering her place in the show, how high she is and what she was doing when my character shows up we are going to get some of both!

Besides it can be both. I know THAT.

 

[leeroy jenkins]

pain is pleasure, not punishment

That is not true for everyone, but in my untested state I will agree with you. Now I just need to see how much pleasure I and handle before I relent and beg them to stop.

 

[Kajira Callista]

k. i will just keep my opinion to myself from now on.
*smiles all pretty and sits quietly*

 

[leeroy jenkins]

k. i will just keep my opinion to myself from now on.
*smiles all pretty and sits quietly*

Don't do that now, I think you told me one time your a pain slut, but others here can't or won't endure the level of pain be it for pleasure or punishment.

 

[shy slave]

I will try to explain how it works now on both a mental and emotional level for me, as well as how it was at the begining.

When I first played it was low level pain, easily tolerable and only lasted seconds.
It was an amazing sensation, a mental feeling of finally understanding what had been missing from my sex life (although we never had intercourse). It was like discovering a secret. Both sessions were a wide variety of things including a calm voice telling me what to do and how to do it. Between each different element he gave me time to calm down, not hugs or touch, just space to allow my mind to process what had happened before moving on. The man involved was a really nice person and that helped, because nerves were the main focus. So pain was a part of the process as oppose to the whole situation.

With my ex, pain from the cane, the crop and floggers were the main focus of any situation. He did not gradually build up to a situation of tolerable pain but crashed through all my defences in one strike.
The anticipation of waiting for the implement to land was terrible. Fear played a part of that. It hurt and I knew he would not stop until he saw large black bruises appearing.
The worst part was hearing the cane a split second before it landed, that was worse than the stinging pain. A bit like standing outside the head teachers office knowing that they are about to give you a telling off for a misdemeanor. The anticipation was worse than the reality. I asked on Lit about how to raise my ability to cope and was given alot of good advice from KC and others.

With Andante the pain is different, he does work up to it. The flogger and small black whip with knots are two of my favourite toys now. He has not used the cane on me and I am not sure how I would react to the noise of the cane as it moves through the air.
I don't enjoy the sound of the crop, and the pain sensation of the crop is different to that of the flogger or whip. The crop is a sharp piercing feeling, a burning intense heat like an iron when it catches the skin. The flogger lands over wider spread area and the main body of the flogger feels like a heavy thud on the skin with the ends leaving a sparking of pain in close proximity yet slightly different areas. The small whip is similiar to the flogger but the knots intesify the sparked pain and it burns slightly as it lands. I don't like when he lands any toy in the same spot repeatedly, that pain becomes so sharp and lasts longer than the split second on untouched skin. However, if he lands repeatedly in the same spot and then moves to a new place it takes my brain a second or two to catch up, giving mixed signals as to where the actual pain is. I would also say my back can take far more than my ass, I cry much quicker if he focuses on my ass instead of my back.
(As an aside I love abrasion play on my back, a cat brush dragged down my back can give me heaven, whether its a pre-cursor to anything or given post - flogging).

As he warms my skin and then builds up the pressure it can initially feel like a strong caress on my skin. Sometimes he stops there, sometimes he goes further and I cry. However, if he continues through the tears I can start to relax and listen to the sounds and feel the heat as oppose to dread the noise and feel the sting. Yes, I still feel the pain and I do go through a stage of anger, sometimes extreme anger; but if he just continues on then that anger dissipates and I can focus my mind on him and control my thoughts of being incensed at what is happening until those thoughts no longer exist.
The anger must come from the adrenalin that is triggered by the pain endorphines. He has been on the end of that anger and its not fun for either of us. Its very important that he controls my mind and body at those points otherwise I can feel out of control of my own actions.
The anger blocks out all rational thought and all pain. As my focus is on screaming obscenities at him.
Anyone reading this who thinks thats terrible and not very submissive has a point. I would say that I cannot help my reaction, its a part of the process towards bringing me to a state of complete compliance and mental freedom.
It is not like being beaten as a child, which ends in feelings of worthlessness, hatred and exhaustion.
It leads to a feeling of being mentally free and energised.
I feel loved. I agree that sounds like battered wife syndrome, but he does not give the pain in anger and I don't take it because I have to. I take it because I want to. I have safe words and I have free will to use them
However, I have chosen, and continue to choose, to trust him to take me mentally to a different place through physical pain.

 

[Xelebes]

On a side note I'll never forget the first time I flogged a woman.

LOL!

I thought I was going to faint!

I was so afraid I was going to do some serious damage.

I had to try it out on my leg first so I could have some kind of gage.

How sad it that?

I call it wise myself.

 

[shy slave]

pain is pleasure, not punishment

See, i told you she gave good advice

 

[shy slave]

On a side note I'll never forget the first time I flogged a woman.

LOL!

I thought I was going to faint!

I was so afraid I was going to do some serious damage.

I had to try it out on my leg first so I could have some kind of gage.

How sad it that?

Never trust someone who is not prepared to try it on themselves.

That said, I HATE clover clamps, the first time he and I met; he picked one up and attached it to his own nipple. He then spent a couple of minutes looking at it, examining it and generally feeling what it was like. Facially it looked like he was ok with it. I nearly fainted, how on earth could I convince him they were sent from hell if he looked like he could wear it for hours lol

In that spilt second I realised he would not be easy to manipulate (I was still deluded enough at the time to think he could be manipulated though )

 

[leeroy jenkins]

Well said Shy.

 

[fgarvb1]

shy slave,

Some of the things you related made me think back, and I saw or now understand more of what I saw happening with her.

Interesting.

But hey now..I have ran across some ladies who felt/knew that they had done some really bad things and wanted to be punished for it.

I just happened to be someone they trusted to confess to and punish them.

A couple were into it much more than others.

Myself, I am a person pleaser in sex, pretty much whatever it takes.

Somethings I will not do but, I have a kink or three.

 

[shy slave]

shy slave,

Some of the things you related made me think back, and I saw or now understand more of what I saw happening with her.

Interesting.

But hey now..I have ran across some ladies who felt/knew that they had done some really bad things and wanted to be punished for it.

I just happened to be someone they trusted to confess to and punish them.

A couple were into it much more than others.

Myself, I am a person pleaser in sex, pretty much whatever it takes.

Somethings I will not do but, I have a kink or three.

I know some people act 'naughty' to get punished and others who believe they have commited a wrong doing.

The former, to me, seems a mix of manipulation and play
The latter is a difficult concept. If they have 'been bad' then it appears they are using pain and the Dom as a type of confessional. Which seems like a different mind set.

Sounds like you have both your own hard limits and places which are ok to explore.

I like that in a person

 

[graceanne]

Man ! I never thought I would be here, asking this!


I'm working on some fan fiction and I need to know what it's like to be on the receiving end of a flogging.

It hurts. Silly.

 

[leeroy jenkins]

It hurts. Silly.

Gracie you have a way with the obvious

 

[graceanne]

Gracie you have a way with the obvious

Thank you, I do try.

 

[chris9]

shy slave,

Some of the things you related made me think back, and I saw or now understand more of what I saw happening with her.

Interesting.

But hey now..I have ran across some ladies who felt/knew that they had done some really bad things and wanted to be punished for it.

I just happened to be someone they trusted to confess to and punish them.

A couple were into it much more than others.

Myself, I am a person pleaser in sex, pretty much whatever it takes.

Somethings I will not do but, I have a kink or three.

I'll try to sum up what I learned about punishment here.
In many of the relationships posters lead and talk about, pain is present. In those relationships it's not (always) punishment. I particularly recall serijules saying that she had to ask to be flogged, spanked, whatever, but never act out, try to push her PYL into giving her pain.
As punishment it's recommended to use something that the pyl really doesn't like. It can be pain, maybe administered by a specific object solely for that purpose. From what I read it's more likely to be the withdrawal of pleasure, some task that's no fun, but educational, something specifically thought out for the person(s) involved and the misbehaviour about to be punished.

I can see the charm of 'being punished' on a fictional level for acting out, for being naughty. In a real relationship it would take away control from the Dominant.