I need men to....

[unspoken_wish]

talk to me on yahoo and tell me honestly what they think of my looks. I've been feeling very down and self conscious lately due to some less than tactful comments made by a friend of mine. Could use the honest truth...

the_unspokenwish is my yahoo

 

[Mrs.P]

Oh honey, don't rely on men to affirm what/who you are.

 

[hmcneil_fc]

She's gorgeous. Some asshole just probably pissed at her. She is extremely cute!

 

[unspoken_wish]

Thanks for the nice comments. I know I shouldn't rely on what men think of me, but I've just had this self esteem problem my whole life and when I feel ugly I get really down on myself. I've never felt this bad since I was in junior high. This person who told me these things also said that every man that ever slept with me was lying about me being pretty just so they could get laid and that no one ever really loved me....

 

[Mrs.P]

and you are putting stock into what ONE person said because???? self-esteem is a tricky thing, but I have found that it comes from within. Sure it's nice to get compliments from people, but you have to love yourself from within for it all to add up anyway.

 

[unspoken_wish]

Well I am putting stock into what he said because he is supposed to be my "boyfriend", and he tells me things like I have pretty eyes and pretty hair but that I should go to the gym all the time and lose weight because he would be more attracted to me that way.

I was the "chubby girl" in grade school, and then when I was 18 I slimmed out and now I am a very proportional 5'6, 160lbs, hourglass figure. I had my first real boyfriend when I was 18 and since then I have had a few meaningful relationship where the guys would tell me that I was perfect just the way I am and that they loved my body.

This is the first man that I've been with that has complained about my body.... and it's seriously making me question what I've always been told. I know I shouldn't care what he thinks and just tell him to fuck off if he's that shallow... but I really have a hard time doing that....

 

[Mrs.P]

I do believe a "fuck off" would suffice.

 

[Guest]

Sweetie you have no pics on your Yahoo Profile

 

[unspoken_wish]

Sorry if I am slow to respond on yahoo! I am getting way more messages than I intended to!

 

[rcuhljr]

Well I am putting stock into what he said because he is supposed to be my "boyfriend", and he tells me things like I have pretty eyes and pretty hair but that I should go to the gym all the time and lose weight because he would be more attracted to me that way.

I was the "chubby girl" in grade school, and then when I was 18 I slimmed out and now I am a very proportional 5'6, 160lbs, hourglass figure. I had my first real boyfriend when I was 18 and since then I have had a few meaningful relationship where the guys would tell me that I was perfect just the way I am and that they loved my body.

This is the first man that I've been with that has complained about my body.... and it's seriously making me question what I've always been told. I know I shouldn't care what he thinks and just tell him to fuck off if he's that shallow... but I really have a hard time doing that....

How in the hell do these guys get girlfriends? God has a twisted sense of humor.

 

[unspoken_wish]

Lol anyone want to take his place??? Here I will add some more to the story just so it will be easier to understand.

He was a virgin before me... so it boggles my mind that at 22 years old he has only slept with me, and he is complaining about my body because apparently his friends keep telling him he could date model chicks.

I know I know... I am going to tell him I don't want to see him anymore.

 

[One_Chance99]

Wait a minute, this douche is STILL your boyfriend? I haven't even seen a picture of you yet, and already you deserve better than this (not that a picture has any bearing on that, though).

 

[rcuhljr]

Just go find someone deserving. It will restore some of my faith in humanity

 

[unspoken_wish]

Just go find someone deserving. It will restore some of my faith in humanity

Lol unfortunately Vegas is full of jerky men. I wish I could find someone sweet.

 

[rcuhljr]

That's gotta be a strange place to live, I think the novelty might wear off after awhile But yeah I could see how that kind of place might not foster the best kind of relationship material. Either way best of luck to you and remember to respect yourself, it's sleepy time for me.

 

[unspoken_wish]

Lol Vegas has never had novelty for me. I was born here and have lived my whole 23 years here... when I am done with college and my lease is up next year I am most likely moving!

 

[Wolf of Mibu 69]

Yeah, there're plenty of jerks out there. I'm sure she looks just fine.

 

[hotstuff82]

wow.. after reading this thread i feel like an asshole for telling my gf to go to the gym.. eeks!

but i was only looking out for her health.. I myself am a recreational body builder.. so i thought it'd be cool if she had a nice figure too..

 

[Eilan]

wow.. after reading this thread i feel like an asshole for telling my gf to go to the gym.. eeks!

You should. Asshat.

 

[rcuhljr]

wow.. after reading this thread i feel like an asshole for telling my gf to go to the gym.. eeks!

but i was only looking out for her health.. I myself am a recreational body builder.. so i thought it'd be cool if she had a nice figure too..

If it actually is for health, then there's better ways to bring it up then that. The top priority is getting across your concern and having an open discussion with her. Maybe just suggest you'd love to have some company when you go to workout.

There's nothing wrong with a SO suggesting that health improvements need to be made (and actually I could use one reminding me ) but there's a huge difference between "You'd look a lot better if you lost some weight." and "Hey, how about we start exercising together, I have a few pounds I'd like to lose and would love to have some company"

 

[hotstuff82]

If it actually is for health, then there's better ways to bring it up then that. The top priority is getting across your concern and having an open discussion with her. Maybe just suggest you'd love to have some company when you go to workout.

There's nothing wrong with a SO suggesting that health improvements need to be made (and actually I could use one reminding me ) but there's a huge difference between "You'd look a lot better if you lost some weight." and "Hey, how about we start exercising together, I have a few pounds I'd like to lose and would love to have some company"

ahh.. there's an in between point in my case.. she could definitely lose some weight and look much better.. however, she's not obese.. slightly chubby.. i am very fit so i'd like her to be at the same level as myself..

 

[rcuhljr]

I'm just gonna bite my tongue

 

[SlickTony]

ahh.. there's an in between point in my case.. she could definitely lose some weight and look much better.. however, she's not obese.. slightly chubby.. i am very fit so i'd like her to be at the same level as myself..

That's interesting. I know about five Taekwondo instructors. Two of them have wives/girlfriends who are on a similar level of fitness as themselves; one of them is the girlfriend of one of the others; but two of them have wives who are completely unathletic and they don't seem to mind.

The older a woman gets the harder it gets to maintain fitness and keep off weight. In my experience, guys who are judgmental about their GFs' appearance don't get less as time goes by. If I were a friend of your GF's I'd advise her to quit while she was ahead.

 

[hotstuff82]

yea.. this is why i feel like an asshole now.. =/

i'll probably have to rethink my attitude over..

 

[Shaq]

Oh honey, don't rely on men to affirm what/who you are.

don't listen to her