i need help...please read

[KinkyKandy]

Okay you guyz, i did something i shouldn't have done. I got online and check my boyfriends email. I know i shouldn't have done it but i had a good reason, see before he went out with me he liked this girl named mindy. Now mindy is kinda needy and she just broke up with her boyfriend. Any way i have a really bad feeling about this. I read his emails to her about giving her a massage the next time he sees her..and how he would fuck her if he wasn't going out with me. The things he said really bothered me and i don't know what to do...please help!

 

[modest mouse]

You should break up. Obviously there is no trust between you two and I doubt there will be.

What you did is wrong. Period.

 

[Angel]

Stop reading his email.

 

[drifter379]

If your not married to him and dont have any kids together I would recomend that you send him packing and move on before it gets to a point where some one really gets hurt.
As Barney would say
"You gotta nip it in the bud"

 

[patient1]

Maybe I'm of no use, but I'll listen while you talk this out.

How can He trust somebody that reads his e-mail without him present? You don't trust him, either, or you would have just asked him about it , rather than checking up on him, right?

 

[lavender]

 

[WickedEve]

Obviously you had a reason not to trust him. Do you want to be with a guy you can't trust? I've been there, and it's no fun. You'll most likely always have feelings of suspicion when it comes to your boyfriend... unless he can regain your trust.
But now the question is, can he trust you?

Good Luck!

 

[Wiggles]

I would own up to the e-mail reading. Don't know what kind of relationship you guys have but he's probably going to find out about this part anyway.

If it was me, I'd dump him. But that's just me.

 

[KinkyKandy]

I'm not beaking up with him. I do trust him, he didnt really do anything. I was just on his screen name to check something (not his mail) and he always said when i'm on his screen name i'm allowed to do what ever i want.

 

[patient1]

I'm not beaking up with him. I do trust him, he didnt really do anything. I was just on his screen name to check something (not his mail) and he always said when i'm on his screen name i'm allowed to do what ever i want.

Well, If you trust each other why don't you talk it over as soon as possible? If this is the case you can read these e-mails together.Maybe they prove that she is coming on to him, and he's resisting.
If that's the case, neither of you would want him to see or talk to her without you participating, right? Either Mindy relates to you as a couple from now on, or she has no place in your lives , right?
You write her e-mails & give her that massage together, or not at all, right?

 

[SweetBrat73]

Even before I read your last post I figured if you had his password to get into his email he probably really didn't care if you got into it or not. So everybody talking about him not being able to trust you I think was way off. No offense to anybody, but you don't let anybody have passwords...even a bf, gf, whatever...unless you don't mind them getting into your stuff.

Miss Needy there needs to keep off your bf. And since your bf liked this girl before and you know about it...he shouldn't be sending her emails of any kind...especially the I would fuck you if I weren't dating somebody else kind...so I would tell the bf that emails of that kind had better stop right now...it's not right for him to be saying such things when in a relationship with somebody else...I would tell him you're sorry for reading his email but let him know why you did it, that the things he's saying to her are really bothering you, and how often does he see Miss Needy...sorry forgot her name...because the way it's worded makes it seem like they are meeting and you don't know what that's all about...

I'm sure this will probably make everybody involved mad at each other for a bit and you'll fight some...it just seems that way to me...but I think it's better to get it out in the open...

Let him know you trust him...it's her you don't trust...but with things he's telling her...the I'd fuck you thing and I'll give you a message next time we meet thing...is starting to make you wonder...

Tell him to look at it from your point of view and ask him how he'd feel if the roles were reversed...

Ok that's my 2cents...

Brat

 

[girl]

I think, first and foremost, if you're looking for honesty and trust in your relationship, you should tell him you snooped in his mailbox. That might be the end of the relationship right there tho...you've violated his trust. He hasn't violated yours. He seems to at least be faithful. He did say he'd fuck her if he wasn't dating you. That right there tells me he's faithful.

It's your responsibility to deal with what you read, because it wasn't yours to read in the first place.

My .02,
girl

 

[KillerMuffin]

What, does he save copies of his emails to her? How do you know you were reading an email from him to her? Look in any of my email or pm boxes and all you'll see are messages that are written to me and not by me.

Honest communication. Tell him you read his email from mindy and you were concerned about it. You trust him, but you're not sure you like her emailing him. Of course he'll probably kick you to the curb for not trusting him, because obviously you don't if you feel the need to traipse through his email no matter what your excuse is for being in his stuff.

I have access to all my Stud's private things but I don't access them. They're private.

His behavior does not justify your own.

 

[SexuallyGifted]

MA & I have each others passwords to both our IM and here @ lit I have used hers to check on how stories are doing and she has logged in as me to put up my Av. Anything else would'nt bother either of us, we have no secrets or anything to hide. But I still would'nt feel comfortable going any further than the submissions page.

 

[Problem Child]

Girl, I want to buff you.

 

[girl]

Girl, I want to buff you.

Only real chamois touches this cool exterior. Nothing buffs like dead antelope.

girl




Think I should put that in the BDSM survey too?

 

[Natalie Nessus]

Men, they have one interest se polir le Chinois!

 

[modest mouse]

Men, they have one interest se polir le Chinois!

Nessus, my friend, you are wrong on this one. Read the initial post again. She is the one who is in the wrong, not him.

 

[girl]

Men, they have one interest se polir le Chinois!

Yes, but they prefer to be the one being polished, I think?


girl

 

[Natalie Nessus]

Nessus, my friend, you are wrong on this one. Read the initial post again. She is the one who is in the wrong, not him.

of course you are right my friend I am just commenting, I have had a bad day, that is all

Girl, the saying in French is 'to polish the chinaman' because the penis is like one, no?
It has a slit for the eye? We have crazy sayings, no? Maybe I should edit.

 

[girl]

Girl, the saying in French is 'to polish the chinaman' because the penis is like one, no?
It has a slit for the eye? We have crazy sayings, no? Maybe I should edit.

Ah...I'm not as bright today as normal (even with the shiny av)...I think perhaps I was awestruck by your amazing accent.

And the French have no more odd sayings than anyone else, especially on this particular subject! *laugh*


girl

 

[pabloback]

tell him what you did and talk it through , if he has given you no reason to mistrust him hopefully he can put your mind at rest , he also knows that you know about lil miss needy. if the trust is gone it is best to find out sooner rather than later for all concerned

 

[Calamity Jane]

I know i shouldn't have done it but i had a good reason

There is no 'good reason' for reading someone else's email. Just as there is no 'good reason' for listening in on someone else's phone calls, reading their snail mail, checking their private voice mail, etc. I don't care how many passwords you have, how much access you're granted, it's a violation of trust.

YOU are untrustworthy, not him. YOU screwed up. YOU should deal with the information, talking to him about it, but ultimately, it's YOUR responsibility to learn to trust him without needing validation, or move on.

 

[modest mouse]

Nessus,

I reacted a bit strongly to your post because the post by kinykandy pisses me off. She totally invades his space to find some emails that clearly say he is not fucking some other girl but are flirtatious in nature. Some people are beyond belief.

To kinkykandy's boyfriend:

Run, you can do much better.

(edited for leaving out a word)

 

[Natalie Nessus]

Nessus,

I reacted a bit strongly to your posy because the post by kinykandy pisses me off. She totally invades his space to find some emails that clearly say he is not fucking some other girl but are flirtatious in nature. Some people are beyond belief.

To kinkykandy's :

Run, you can do much better.

But it is no matter, my friend I have sent a PM