I need female Advice.

[bigeasy0023]

Ok, so I have been with my girlfriend for over a year now and we are having a few problems sexually. Mainly its that we can't have sex for too long because of the excruciating pain that she feels after only about 5 minutes. She is currently of Microgestin and estrogen, the estrogen is to supposedly help the pain but it isn't really working.

As for me I defiantly don't have a huge penis, but according to her I do.

When we have sex, no matter how wet or how much lube, we have used ky astro, now on grapeseed oil. She always feels this "tearing" sensation at the bottom of her vagina. There are times when we could have sex and the pain has a longer onset but eventually it will come. If i finger her for to long, it hurts. I have never seen her cum and with things the way they are I don't know how I ever will. Have any of you experienced this? She swears its the birthcontoll, but the estrogen should be helping... Please give me some advice. I just want her to be happy after we have sex, not complaining about the pain. She has done so much for me, cause she knows how much this means to me, I think its my turn to see what I can do.

 

[sunandshadow]

Um, why is she still taking that medication if she thinks it's what's causing the pain? Birth control isn't supposed to make sex painful. Why not try a different type? Or does she have a specific medical condition that the microgestin is supposed to be treatment for?

 

[bigeasy0023]

Well the estrogen should help the tenderness, so we are trying that. It has only been one week tho, seems to be helping a little, I usually can't even get one full thrust in for round two. Also the only position we can ever do is missionary. Everything else is too painful.

 

[SPANKABLE1]

dyspareunia

 

[sunandshadow]

Well the estrogen should help the tenderness, so we are trying that. It has only been one week tho, seems to be helping a little, I usually can't even get one full thrust in for round two. Also the only position we can ever do is missionary. Everything else is too painful.

? That's didn't answer my question at all. I'm asking about the microgestin, why not try a different variety?

Kind of puzzling that missionary would be more comfortable than cowgirl where she could limit the depth of the penetration. Can you make her come if you stick to oral? That should be less abrasive than fingering - fingering tends to make me sore and I don't usually have problems with soreness. Also have you tried using a vibe on her clit? If you would enjoy seeing her come, trying things which involve little or no penetration seems like the best bet. She might even have less soreness during piv if she comes from oral/manual first. Or, an important question, can she come by herself? If so try to copy whatever technique she usually uses.

 

[bigeasy0023]

Yes, she can cum by her self through rubbing. But oral doesn't do it for her unless shes got a finger up there. I have gotten reallllly close plenty of times, I'm pretty sure through her gspot cause she always forces me to stop cause shes certain that she is gonna pee, even tho I make her go before we start... I think my best bet would be a gspot orgasm. Everytime I try playing with her clit she starts laughing and says it tickles.... I don't know how to get around that. As for a different BC I think she wants to try and stick to this before we try anyrhing else.

 

[TypicalDeviant]

It seems that your best bet would be for her to sit down with her gynocologist and have a very frank discussion about what's happening to her. If her doctor won't listen, tries to blow her off, or belittles the situation, she should find another.

If her birth control appears to be contributing to the situation, I'd stick with condoms and spermicidal lube rather than staying on it or switching to something else before fully understanding the situation.

Her orgasm is important and it's good that you're concerned for her sexual satisfaction, but I'd focus on understanding, and stopping, her pain before anything else.

 

[Kikori]

There is certain teqniques that you all could use also.

Why not elaborate?

 

[Eilan]

Why not elaborate?

"She" would, but the techniques would likely involve the use of spam.

 

[Shadowann2]

Yes, she can cum by her self through rubbing. But oral doesn't do it for her unless shes got a finger up there. I have gotten reallllly close plenty of times, I'm pretty sure through her gspot cause she always forces me to stop cause shes certain that she is gonna pee, even tho I make her go before we start... I think my best bet would be a gspot orgasm. Everytime I try playing with her clit she starts laughing and says it tickles.... I don't know how to get around that. As for a different BC I think she wants to try and stick to this before we try anyrhing else.

I'm a little confused. You said that a finger inside her hurts, but now you say she needs a finger inside her to cum? You said she can cum by rubbing, but if you rub her clit, she laughs. So what is it she is rubbing in order to cum? What are you doing during oral sex if you aren't rubbing her clit with your tongue? Does that make her giggle too?

Also, you said she wants to stick things out with this birth control. What is the point of being on birth control if it makes sex too painful to have? Why bother preventing pregnancy if you can barely even HAVE sex 'cuz it hurts too much? It really sounds like the simple solution is to switch B/C. If she is unwilling to do that, then sex without pain must not be that important to her.

 

[bigeasy0023]

I see you point about switching, but she likes everyother way her body reacts to the micro, the pain is the only sideeffect, if the estrogen doesn't help she will most likley switch.

She likes the feeling of penetration way more than the feeling of rubbing, she even tells me that when she masturbates and cums the feeling isn't even "one hundredth as intense as when your inside me, i just feel a build up then I feel like I've finished" When I go down on her no giggles, when I use my fingers to run her clit she giggles, I don't know why I'm not insane, I vary my technique but I still get the giggly results, frustrating. I know there is a part of her that is hold back her orgasms. I have fingered her, rubbed her g spot, and had intercourse to the point where she gets dizzy, looses her breath and feels like shes gonna explode with pee, but she just won't cum. I introduced the idea of a viving cockring, wasn't too thrilled. She really is trying, I guess there are two problems here, she won't cum, and it hurts. I just want it to stop hurting. I'll post more pics and a like to my pic forum so you can all see my size, I'm not little but not huge, she should be able to take it. Before me she never needed lube, now its a must, even if she is DRIPPING wet (another first) it all seems so contradictory I know. I do everything she tells me, I get her pussy wet to the point where its swollen with out me even touch me, and yet no orgasm, and pain. My ex wasn't easy but if I really wanted to I could make her cum, squirt even. Not her, no matter what I do, I massage her, light candles, relax her, spend lots of time kissing and playing before I even touch her down there, and I can't. I can't help feeling like such a loser some times. And her telling me I make up for it with my big cock, doesn't make me feel any better. Like saying hey you suck, but your cock is big....

 

[ellabee]

Did the pain start before or after the birth control? I had a very tight vagina until well into having sex with my first partner, making pain a constant in our sexual life. I also have difficulty climaxing during sex. Perhaps there's an underlying cause?

 

[mountaindreamer]

Just my two cents but some of the problem sounds mental. Not crazy person mental but nerves. A woman can want sex and be interested in sex but until a woman is COMFORTABLE with herself and her body, things can be tricky. Has she tried several different methods of touching herself when alone to figure out what she likes and doesn't like? She should be able to tell you more than just one thing that makes her feel good. And once she was in pain because of a medical reason, her mind might still be associating some kinds of touch with pain. Hence, the she gets wet but still asks for additional lube comment.

 

[bigeasy0023]

Did the pain start before or after the birth control? I had a very tight vagina until well into having sex with my first partner, making pain a constant in our sexual life. I also have difficulty climaxing during sex. Perhaps there's an underlying cause?

Does it still hurt?

 

[ellabee]

Well, no, not if the penis in question is an average size. Larger ones hurt, but I get over it.

But it used to be so painful that no, I could not handle a finger, or even a tampon. Just sayin'.

I'm just curious how long you've been having sex, what you've tried, when the pain started, if it is a new development or something you've dealt with for a while, etc.

 

[BBW_Goddess_Anna]

Just my two cents but some of the problem sounds mental. Not crazy person mental but nerves. A woman can want sex and be interested in sex but until a woman is COMFORTABLE with herself and her body, things can be tricky. Has she tried several different methods of touching herself when alone to figure out what she likes and doesn't like? She should be able to tell you more than just one thing that makes her feel good. And once she was in pain because of a medical reason, her mind might still be associating some kinds of touch with pain. Hence, the she gets wet but still asks for additional lube comment.

I have to second that. It may not be anything you are doing or not doing. She really needs to talk to her doctor more about this in detail. I do hope you guys work things out though!

 

[Vixandra]

I would like to second the "speak with her gyno" comments.

I would also like to address the giggling. There are women, who like myself, start to giggle when we hit an endorphin rush, like the one caused during sex. The first few times this happened, I was beyond stopping it. And after talking with my partner, learned it made things better for him too. My giggles only happen when its the both of us and not all the time.

Your S/O could be having a similar reaction. Ignore the giggles and keep going. If rubbing gets her off solo, then oral could do it too, she may just be a giggly orgasmer. When she does it during PIV, don't complain. The muscles used to laugh also trigger parts of the vaginal walls, making things more interesting for you too.


And go see a gyno. Birth control SHOULD NOT cause vaginal pain.