I need advice on a breakup

[boxbatter]

Ok i am new here.....and I figured some random advise could probably be better advice than my horny friends...

I was dating this girl for 5 yrs. We lived together for almost 4 of those years. I had the ring in my pocket ready to propose at dinner, when she told me she didnt want to be with me anymore. This tore me apart... I did some digging and found out she was screwing around on me with some Air Force guy. Well, when she moved out, she told me to stay out of there... so I decided to go golfing. I went home to get my clubs when low and behold.... he was helping her move out. Needless to say, that was a pretty shitty game of golf, and was totally trashed by the time it was done. That was 4 months ago. So my question is, how long does it take to get over someone when they rip out your heart? I have dated alot....but women seem more like a distraction than a cure. Please help...find a cure...or an answer....

 

[1sexylady]

Ok i am new here.....and I figured some random advise could probably be better advice than my horny friends...

I was dating this girl for 5 yrs. We lived together for almost 4 of those years. I had the ring in my pocket ready to propose at dinner, when she told me she didnt want to be with me anymore. This tore me apart... I did some digging and found out she was screwing around on me with some Air Force guy. Well, when she moved out, she told me to stay out of there... so I decided to go golfing. I went home to get my clubs when low and behold.... he was helping her move out. Needless to say, that was a pretty shitty game of golf, and was totally trashed by the time it was done. That was 4 months ago. So my question is, how long does it take to get over someone when they rip out your heart? I have dated alot....but women seem more like a distraction than a cure. Please help...find a cure...or an answer....

There is no cure. You have to just move on and forget it. At least you found out before you gave her the ring or married her.

 

[Denae]

Everyone heals differently. Give yourself time. Don't be afraid to talk to a professional about your feelings. And try to not let the breakup cause you to beat yourself up. You're not the bad guy here, it doesn't make you a loser or unworthy of love. And she's not the bad guy. People change and they hurt each other without the intention to do so. It sounds like you didn't see this one coming; I really feel bad for you.

I know it's awful to have 5 years invested in someone and they break your heart. Things do happen for a reason and perhaps there's someone even more wonderful out there for you.

 

[boxbatter]

so what is the normal amount of time you should wait until getting back into the dating scene?

 

[Denae]

so what is the normal amount of time you should wait until getting back into the dating scene?

Everyone is different. It took me two years to get over someone I loved, but the first date after the break up was probably 6 months afterwards.

Just go with what feels right for you. That's the best advice I can give.

 

[1sexylady]

so what is the normal amount of time you should wait until getting back into the dating scene?

You should be there already. Go out have fun... as Denae said everyone is different. Good Luck...

 

[Donsehan]

Originally posted by boxbatter
so what is the normal amount of time you should wait until getting back into the dating scene?

normal is what people define it as, which tends to be what most people do. Really though, it depends on you. Do you feel ready to start again? Really you might not, then you might meet someone and really you never know. As 1sexylady pointed out, you could be back right now.

 

[dcraz]

So sorry to hear about your breakup. As tough as breakups go, there is nothing so devestating as the feeling of betrayal and dishonesty. Often, the signs are there, yet we are blind to see for we want to believe in the idea of true, complete and devoted love.

If you were prepared to ask her to marry you, then you have no doubt felt the peace and joy of intense love. Try not to dwell on the anger and pain. Rather remeber the joy you felt.

Only time will tell when you will be ready. Just remember, there are no burned bridges, only road blocks to future love. You may find yourself closed off and more guarded than before. You may take longer to open up and allow yourself to love again. But love again you will. For you will soon feel the desire to share of yourself. And the desire to yearn for another.


Good luck!

 

[charmed1]

^^^^^ Good advice.


Good luck and keep your head up.

 

[babydoll2u]

So sorry to hear about your breakup. As tough as breakups go, there is nothing so devestating as the feeling of betrayal and dishonesty. Often, the signs are there, yet we are blind to see for we want to believe in the idea of true, complete and devoted love.

If you were prepared to ask her to marry you, then you have no doubt felt the peace and joy of intense love. Try not to dwell on the anger and pain. Rather remeber the joy you felt.

Only time will tell when you will be ready. Just remember, there are no burned bridges, only road blocks to future love. You may find yourself closed off and more guarded than before. You may take longer to open up and allow yourself to love again. But love again you will. For you will soon feel the desire to share of yourself. And the desire to yearn for another.


Good luck!

Excellent advice....

you're in my prayers sweet man

 

[uprocessor01]

breakup

it could have been worse, she could have kept her mouth shut and married you. and after a couple of yeasr you would have found out about the other man after you and the wife have a house, 2 cars, a kid or more

just keep in mind that if she was sleeping around on you while you lived together, then she probably is sleeping around on her new boyfriend.

time will partially heal your wounds. You have to get your life back without her. You can wallow in pity all you want and be in your owm depressed world but it will only make it worse.

a good question to ask yourself is "Am i more hurt than angry over her leaving me, lying, cheating, and etc..."

your answer to that question will dictate what you should do next, as well as defining how u feel, which is the first step in any problematic situation. Once you figure out exactly what you are feedling then you can properly deal with it

i realize i may make it seem simple, but any painful journey is never simple

 

[boxbatter]

I just wanted to thank everyone on their advice. You help me as much as anyone can. The rest lies inside me to heal these wounds and overcome this adversity. God bless.

 

[Donsehan]

Originally posted by boxbatter
I just wanted to thank everyone on their advice. You help me as much as anyone can. The rest lies inside me to heal these wounds and overcome this adversity. God bless.

Well, you're welcome, although I don't think I gave very good advice.