I need a little personal help thru advise please.......

[Wizard]

I need to seek advise from our brothers and sisters of the board, This is not all BDSM and I hope the thread is allowed to stay as I really need to hear from you guys on this matter. It will have to do with our BDSM lifestyle.

I will try to be brief and explain the best I can. I’ll tell you right now some of the things I can’t spell so make fun of me or what ever it don’t much matter to me.

As many know I am always in control and like to know how things will be handled.

I have a situation here at home I know very little about.

Many of you guys also know skitten is my wife of almost 16 years now; we have gone thru a ton of things in our life. We went thru a kidney transplant together and so much else.
This starts about 2 months ago I believe. skitten had irregular periods, like every other week etc. She went to her family Dr. and they did blood work and sonogram, and told her to go see her oby/gene which she had just been seeing a family dude for years.
The sonogram showed 3 cists on her ovary 2 right sides on left side. She is 36 years old. They told her that she might have to have a hysterectomy (sp).
We waited till what would be the 20th of this month to get her appointment and get her checked. Last Thursday she woke to major, major pain. Called off work and I would up a little latter at the hospital with her. About 8 hours latter they said one of the cists had ruptured. She has sonograms, blood work, Pap smear, X rays again you name it.
They gave her a shot of morafine and a bottle of perks and sent her home.
I thought for sure they would keep her and she would have them removed. They ask on a scale of 1 to 10 where was the pain. She said 8.5. I took her home and the past few days she has been on the couch unable to move. Going to the stairs to use the bathroom caused the utmost pain for her.
This morning we call the Dr. she is to see and climbed up their ass to get in ASAP. We will go see them Tuesday morning at 930 and I’ll know more then.
One of my concerns is for the girls who have gone thru this what is the best thing to do? If she just has them removed they tell us they will come back in a few years. I do not wish her to go thru this again.
If she has the hysterectomy what will we expect for a 36-year-old girl? Is it true some never care for sex? Others I have heard it didn’t change a bit…
We often talked about what would happen if one of us couldn’t play like we used to…We both love to play and play hard… We both agree we are with each other for the long haul, sex or no sex…
Please let me know what you know and what life has taught you guys. I really have no clue where this is going or what to do.
Input is very welcome here. If I missed anything ask and I’ll post the correct info.
Thanks folks, I am very concerned at the moment. Sorry so long and spelling is poor.

Wizzie

 

[WriterDom]

I have been with several women who have had hysterectomies that had plenty of libido. If not, I'm would think they could treat that medically. Hope she gets better soon.

 

[Wizard]

I have been with several women who have had hysterectomies that had plenty of libido. If not, I'm would think they could treat that medically. Hope she gets better soon.

Thank you Sir, I didn't want to come off shallow or an ass hole but it is a concern for both of us and you allways hear shit that isn't allways true.

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

Wiz--sorry to hear of skittens troubles. When working in the OR we did many total hysterectomys on younger women. The therapy afterwards would be for hormone replacement (to prevent bone loss, heart disease and also loss of libido and so forth). The hormones can be adjusted based on how skitten feels.

Here's a link you might want to check out:

Web MD Hysterectomy Topic Overview

The healing time varies depending on whether she has an abdominal or vaginal hysterectomy. The vaginal ones heal MUCH faster. However, sometimes they are technically not possible, depending on what the MD needs to do. Talk to your doctor.

Hope this helped a bit.

~anelize

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Wiz--sorry to hear of skittens troubles. When working in the OR we did many total hysterectomys on younger women. The therapy afterwards would be for hormone replacement (to prevent bone loss, heart disease and also loss of libido and so forth). The hormones can be adjusted based on how skitten feels.

Here's a link you might want to check out:

Web MD Hysterectomy Topic Overview

The healing time varies depending on whether she has an abdominal or vaginal hysterectomy. The vaginal ones heal MUCH faster. However, sometimes they are technically not possible, depending on what the MD needs to do. Talk to your doctor.

Hope this helped a bit.

~anelize

Big nod of appreciation to anelize.

i love the right response at the right time.

Makes me believe Murphy ain't the Force of the universe afterall.

 

[Wizard]

Thank you for the link Anelize, I am way out of my element here. I want to say this is way I ask about this here. I feel comfortable with sharing and asking to those on this section. I have received a few real nice pm from those who where able to share about them self and what they know.
I don’t know what direction we need to go and will find out tomorrow morning where we stand. I will post what I learn then for more talking about what I need to do for her.
Thanks again for any and all comments…

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

Thanks AA. Wiz, my best to Skitten. I'll be sending all my good thoughts her way tomorrow morning.

~anelize

 

[Bachlum Chaam]

I'm thinking of you both sir, good luck

 

[Wizard]

Many thanks to everyone, I am having a hard time dealing with this.......


Bachlum Chaam, your always a true gentelmen ...Thank you

 

[Native Alien]

Good wishes and prayer for you both Wizard. I have never had the problem myself, but many women who have. Take Anelize's advise, read all you can about it, and write down your questions to ask the doctor.

 

[SexyChele]

Wizard, my thoughts and prayers are with you and skitten. I hope all goes well for skitten - and you as well.

I've known a couple of women who have had hysterectomies, one her 20s, the other in her early 30s. They never talked to me directly about their sex lives, but they did look forward to romantic weekends with their hubbies and jokingly talked of having sex. Both were on hormone replacement, as they had had their ovaries removed. The one who had the hysterectomy in her 30s told me that she did experience some problems while they were adjusting her medication. She had all the symptoms of menopause - night sweats, moodiness, hot flashes, etc. Once they got her medication on track, she was fine. She is now in her 50s and if her attitude towards her husband is any indication (they have been married over 25 years and are "empty-nesters"), their love life is still goin strong!

The woman I knew who had a hysterectomy in her 20s did have some depression, but it revolved more around the fact that she would never have children of her own. But I think some women can experience depression: not being a woman, losing one's femininity, etc. Just depends on how each woman handles the experience, pressure, and stress. Skitten is one lucky woman. She has you.

Sending good thoughts your way for tomorrow and will be awaiting an update.

 

[Wizard]

Wizard, my thoughts and prayers are with you and skitten. I hope all goes well for skitten - and you as well.

I've known a couple of women who have had hysterectomies, one her 20s, the other in her early 30s. They never talked to me directly about their sex lives, but they did look forward to romantic weekends with their hubbies and jokingly talked of having sex. Both were on hormone replacement, as they had had their ovaries removed. The one who had the hysterectomy in her 30s told me that she did experience some problems while they were adjusting her medication. She had all the symptoms of menopause - night sweats, moodiness, hot flashes, etc. Once they got her medication on track, she was fine. She is now in her 50s and if her attitude towards her husband is any indication (they have been married over 25 years and are "empty-nesters"), their love life is still goin strong!

The woman I knew who had a hysterectomy in her 20s did have some depression, but it revolved more around the fact that she would never have children of her own. But I think some women can experience depression: not being a woman, losing one's femininity, etc. Just depends on how each woman handles the experience, pressure, and stress. Skitten is one lucky woman. She has you.

Sending good thoughts your way for tomorrow and will be awaiting an update.

Thanks SexyChele, your words are comforting…..
I don’t know what to expect here. Really truly is skitten heath first but I am concerned with how our sexual lifestyle will change. I don’t mean to sound like a pig, I just am wondering. I mean if we never had sex again then I would be grateful for the almost 16 years of awesome ass slapping sex we did have. Now I now we will again but how different would it be? Will she still enjoy the more wild things? I know I’m rambling….

“She is bent over like a monkey fucking a football”(there is a mental picture for ya………) She can’t hardly move. I just have to wait and see tomorrow what the Dr. tells us and we’ll deal with it. I want to see her not in pain and well again…

 

[lonewolf6419]

some advise

hello my name is john and i am new to this site first post ,and seen your post my wife just got home from her surgery for samr thing she had been going through this for eight years now we have been together for 3 now but could not get a doctor to do it because of her age and we do not have kids ,she is 32 and we decided we don't want any kids so we have been fighting them to do it ,she has been in pain for too long she had the same things your wife does and before they removed them, but came back again she also had alot of scare tissue from the other surgerys she had to remove them ,so now after two years of pain most of the time of the month is when they cause the most pain but we have not been able to do anything for last two years like motercycle riding or walking ,most time stayed at home ,she has been home two days now and is feeling better ,at least that what she is telling me lol they did full hist. and she will be starting hormone treatment later on but i told her that if it makes her feel better that is what counts i would allways be thier for her no matter what ,if you would like to chat some time let me know removed and i hope everything works out for you two ,sorry for bad spelling ,talk to you later

 

[catalina_francisco]

Wizard, I don't think anyone here with an ounce of understanding would consider you a pig for your concerns about sexuality and hysterectomies. I am sure skitten is also happy with and wants the present level of sexual adventure to continue, but you are trying to deal with realities, and while it could be a no problem issue, from the experience of women and the inability to predict before the hysterectomy what the outcomes are going to be, you are normal to consider the worse case scenario.

If it is a necessity and only option, the decision will be easy, but if there are options available, you will have a lot to think about. It is also a fact that the pain can still remain after the operation in some cases which makes it an issue to consider if that is the main reason for considering it. Good medical opinion will give you an honest appraisal of the options and facts, and will tell you the level of expectation for the options they present without keeping anything back. It is never an easy decision, especially when the pain is that bad at the moment..often the only thought is to stop it anyway possible. Good luck. Our thoughts are with you both.

Francisco & Catalina

 

[Soron]

Wiz, it goes without saying that you and skitten are in Arden's and my thoughts and prayers.
Being an old fogey, I've seen many friends and family go through things like this. I know you've certainly got the support of everyone here at Lit. Best wishes to you both, my friend.

 

[Desdemona]

ok. I may tell you more than you want to know.

Wiz, I lived it. I had endometriosis which caused me to have several exceedingly painful cysts on my ovaries. I finally had my hysterectomy at the age of 37 after about 10 years of struggling to have children. I think its wonderful that you are so concerned. My husband saw it as no big deal and I had to cope as best I could alone.

A hysterectomy is a very different experience for each woman I think. Like Anelize, I am a nurse and thought that my time caring for women after this surgery would prepare me. I was wrong.

I had a pretty rough time with it emotionally, mostly because I had been unable to have children and I ended up feeling less than feminine and because I had no support from my spouse.

Sex did feel different for me. My orgasms before the hysterectomy had involved very strong uterine contractions. I also felt different inside.... I felt much larger and empty internally the first few times I had vaginal sex (probably a mental thing. I was told it felt just fine to my husband). So sexually, I felt a loss and I mourned the changes in my body. I have spoken with other women who experienced the same things.

Over time, it got better. I reclaimed my sense of myself as a woman with a little help from a friend or two. I have a raging libido and enjoy sex greatly at this point in my life.

Hormone replacement is a very personal decision. If she doesn't have her ovaries removed, it isn't an issue. My ovaries had to go because of the disease and because of how widespread it was in my body. I tried toughing it out without estrogen. It wasn't pretty. Mood swings, night sweats, hot flashes and vaginal dryness were just the tip of the iceberg. Lets just say that life and my libido improved dramatically when I started on estrogen.

Anyway, if you want to know more or have specific questions, feel free to send me a PM. Best of luck to you both! des

 

[Wizard]

Re: some advise

hello my name is john and i am new to this site first post ,and seen your post my wife just got home from her surgery for samr thing she had been going through this for eight years now we have been together for 3 now but could not get a doctor to do it because of her age and we do not have kids ,she is 32 and we decided we don't want any kids so we have been fighting them to do it ,she has been in pain for too long she had the same things your wife does and before they removed them, but came back again she also had alot of scare tissue from the other surgerys she had to remove them ,so now after two years of pain most of the time of the month is when they cause the most pain but we have not been able to do anything for last two years like motercycle riding or walking ,most time stayed at home ,she has been home two days now and is feeling better ,at least that what she is telling me lol they did full hist. and she will be starting hormone treatment later on but i told her that if it makes her feel better that is what counts i would allways be thier for her no matter what ,if you would like to chat some time let me know lonewolf6419@hotmail.com and i hope everything works out for you two ,sorry for bad spelling ,talk to you later

Wow so many to answer, John thank you for joining our small little part of the world and please jump in any thread and feel at home. I can personally vouch for many here on the board and there are a ton of great heated folks here. This is why I brought my concerns here.
Thank you very much for making this your first post and sharing this with me.
Quite honestly I’m scared. I’m scared as what is to come and scared about my skitten.
We did find one thing out it was not cancer and I know I will misspell this but it is a dermoid cist. Or rather 3 of them.


catalina, It really is great to be able to throw a problem like this out and have great folks respond with input.
Thank you again......

Soron, Thank you It is appreciated.

 

[SexyChele]

Wizard, I don't think anyone here thinks that you are a pig! And if they do, well, then they truly do not know either you or skitten!

Though I've not been through it, I would imagine one of skitten's concerns is/will be how her body will react sexually. Well, when the poor thing finally gets out of that haze of pain she's in. It could be she is having her own thoughts that are similar to yours. Just something to keep in mind.

It's okay to have doubts and questions. Who wouldn't? Anytime you or one that you love face a severe medical problem there is always uncertainty, doubt, and that horrible feeling of being totally and completely out of control. What you are feeling is natural and normal and there is absolutely nothing wrong with you.

I would suggest to try and relax and make skitten as comfortable as you possibly can. Worry has never accomplished a thing except to make gray hairs and wrinkles. Tomorrow is the time to deal with this head on, and it will get here fast enough. You two will survive this. Just think on that.

And know that there are lots of folks here pulling for the two of you!

 

[Wizard]

Re: ok. I may tell you more than you want to know.

Wiz, I lived it. I had endometriosis which caused me to have several exceedingly painful cysts on my ovaries. I finally had my hysterectomy at the age of 37 after about 10 years of struggling to have children. I think its wonderful that you are so concerned. My husband saw it as no big deal and I had to cope as best I could alone.

A hysterectomy is a very different experience for each woman I think. Like Anelize, I am a nurse and thought that my time caring for women after this surgery would prepare me. I was wrong.

I had a pretty rough time with it emotionally, mostly because I had been unable to have children and I ended up feeling less than feminine and because I had no support from my spouse.

Sex did feel different for me. My orgasms before the hysterectomy had involved very strong uterine contractions. I also felt different inside.... I felt much larger and empty internally the first few times I had vaginal sex (probably a mental thing. I was told it felt just fine to my husband). So sexually, I felt a loss and I mourned the changes in my body. I have spoken with other women who experienced the same things.

Over time, it got better. I reclaimed my sense of myself as a woman with a little help from a friend or two. I have a raging libido and enjoy sex greatly at this point in my life.

Hormone replacement is a very personal decision. If she doesn't have her ovaries removed, it isn't an issue. My ovaries had to go because of the disease and because of how widespread it was in my body. I tried toughing it out without estrogen. It wasn't pretty. Mood swings, night sweats, hot flashes and vaginal dryness were just the tip of the iceberg. Lets just say that life and my libido improved dramatically when I started on estrogen.

Anyway, if you want to know more or have specific questions, feel free to send me a PM. Best of luck to you both! des

Wow Des,
where do I start?

" I had endometriosis which caused me to have several exceedingly painful cysts on my ovaries. I finally had my hysterectomy at the age of 37 after about 10 years of struggling to have children. I think its wonderful that you are so concerned. My husband saw it as no big deal and I had to cope as best I could alone."

I look at it as a very big deal and have heard how ladies react to having this done. It is major and should have the proper attention


"I had a pretty rough time with it emotionally, mostly because I had been unable to have children and I ended up feeling less than feminine and because I had no support from my spouse."

We in that respect we are lucky and have 2 children her tubes where tied after the 2nd one.
I will be with her the whole streach of the way. Anything at all I can to do help or make life better, then count me in.


"Over time, it got better. I reclaimed my sense of myself as a woman with a little help from a friend or two. I have a raging libido and enjoy sex greatly at this point in my life."

Now this is truly great news and happy to hear.


"Hormone replacement is a very personal decision. If she doesn't have her ovaries removed, it isn't an issue. My ovaries had to go because of the disease and because of how widespread it was in my body. I tried toughing it out without estrogen. It wasn't pretty. Mood swings, night sweats, hot flashes and vaginal dryness were just the tip of the iceberg. Lets just say that life and my libido improved dramatically when I started on estrogen."

This I am not looking forward too but will deal with it as it happens. I have heard a lot about this but never the truth from those that have had it done. We will hear what the Dr's have to say and take it from there.......

Many thanks for sharing something this personal with me and us.
skitten has been reading everything posted and it is very welcome.
Thanks again Des.

 

[kayte]

Wizard and skitten !!!! You are in my thoughts and prayers.

You are getting good advice from the people on the thread those who have lived it.

We are here for you.

 

[Skitten]

RE:

Thsnk-you all for your concern. I appreciate it, more than you know. I do not know what we are up for yet, or what I am feeling. There are a lot of emotions going on as well as a heck of a lot of pain which I just cannot stand anymore. I am not someone who just sits around and that is all I have been doing since wednesday and I need to find out what the Dr's says first.

Sure I am worried about a lot of things including our sex life but there are so many concerns running through my head right now . But I wanted to thank you all for you concern and best wishes. I am sure we will be ok but it is just real hard right now. But Wizzie and my kids have been Terrific through all of this.

Thank you for all your comforting words.

 

[Wizard]

Hi kayte ,
good to see you and thank you ...
Great advise for sure, thats why I couldn't think of a better group of folks to talk about this with....

I hear typing over my shoulder so skitten must be posting......

oh well she beat me to it........

 

[Desdemona]

Wiz and Skitten, I feel confident that the two of you will handle this just fine together. As I look back over what I posted, I told you the truth but it does sound kinda awful. The good news is that you learn to cope and not everyone has a rough time.

Besides that, there are two huge good points to this.

#1. An end to the pain.

#2. No more periods.

And you may not have to go through it at all.

 

[Wizard]

Wiz and Skitten, I feel confident that the two of you will handle this just fine together. As I look back over what I posted, I told you the truth but it does sound kinda awful. The good news is that you learn to cope and not everyone has a rough time.

Besides that, there are two huge good points to this.

#1. An end to the pain.

#2. No more periods.

And you may not have to go through it at all.

Really, I was glad you said what you did......I mean thats what I was looking to hear, the real deal. Not sugar coat bullshit.
I wanted to know first hand what chicks can and do have to go thru. You told me straight up..... I couldn't have ask for more.
I know these are private matters and thank you for giving us a heads up.

No question about it we will get thru it… What choice do we have? I’ll know more in the morning I have this week off from work and have been here since it happened…

 

[MissTaken]

I cannot really add to what the others have posted, but wanted to send my warmest thoughts and tell you that you have been added to my prayers.


Many hugs,