bigdaddy56
Experienced
- Joined
- Mar 18, 2003
- Posts
- 42
I am thinking of writing a book. I was wondering if any one would be willing to read my story and give my thier thougts. I just need to know if I should contiue or stop now. Here is the first couple pages
“Mom, where are my cleats? I need them for practice after school; today is the first day of tryouts. “Where did you leave them last, D? “D” is what Andrea always calls her only son; the D is short for Damien. Damien is your typical 13-year-old kid; he loves baseball, hanging out with his friend, and secretly girls. He is not sure how Mom would react if she knew how interested he really was in the opposite sex.
“D, make sure you don’t miss the bus again today, if I have to take you I am going to take it out on you butt”. “Promise?” Says Damien. Damien goes to Elliot Grant High School where he is a freshman; Elliot Grant has a school named after him just because he basically bought the school. Grant got his money from oil that his grandfather excavated in Texas back in the early 1900’s. For Damien the Grant name meant trouble, his mother works at Elliot Enterprises as a ___________, as for Damien; well he was kind of the arc enemy of “the” Elliot Grant Jr. That’s right he actually goes to the school named after his father.
Elliot is one of those kids you see on that Dawson Creek televisions show, you know the kind the ones that live in the perfect house, drive the perfect car, have the perfect girlfriend. Which in this case is Jade Hanson, the lead freshmen cheerleader and I am sure future prom queen. She was also the one woman that Damien did not have the nerve to say a word to. He tried once, right in front of Elliot “To me mustard please pass”. I can’t believe I messed up a line like that, “Please pass me the mustard” see I can say it now. I feel like such a retard. As his best friends Brian and Seth roll their eyes at each other and shake their heads. “What do you see in that Barbie doll anyway?” says Seth. I see my future, or at least I hope she is my future. “Your future better be on baseball diamond, remember lover boy we have tryouts after school”. Yeah, Yeah I know. That’s the only way I’ll ever get Jade to notice me.
When the big hand finally reached nine and 2:45 was actually here, Damien started to get nervous about what he was about to do. Baseball was his first love, being out there at third base all alone knowing that you could be the hero or the goat…what a rush, a scary rush. When Damien arrived at the locker room to change for tryouts Brian was already putting his cleats on. Damien rushed and got changed and headed out to the field, only to be confronted by Elliot. “Hey dip, stay away from my girl”. I was just asking for mustard. “Well unless you want to limp for Christmas, you’ll stay clear of Jade”.
Coach blew his whistle and both Elliot and Damien continued on to the field.
The team did there stretching and their sprints as Damien and Brian measured up there competition. Damien knew he would win a spot over Brian, but some of these other guys were big, real big. He felt good about his fielding skills; his was just as good as anyone else. His hitting was his concern, he could use some work in this area. “I hope we do fielding first so I can impress the coach that way. This was if my bat is nonexistent then I have a better chance,” Damien said to Brian. “You want to field last, that was you leave a good impression”. “Hummm, good point”, Damien says.
As luck would have it the team fielded first. Damien was all pumped up with his chance to impress the coaches with his superior defense. “Your the best, you can do this” he kept mumbling to himself. “What?” Brian asked. “Oh Nothing. Get ready your next”. As Brian positioned himself at second base, you could see the fear in his face. Brian knew that he was not the best, but he was going to give it all, however, by the time he was done Elliot and all his friends we all pointing and laughing. “Geez, Brian your supposed to stop the ball, not run from it”. Brian hung his head as he walked by the group still awaiting there turn. “Don’t worry about it man, we still get to bat!” Damien said as Brian passed him. “Damien get out here, lets see what you got” coach Davidson yelled. Damien took his position, dug his cleats in, and waited. Coach Davidson was hitting balls at him left and right, and couple right at his head. The last ball hit lead Damien to stretch out toward second base making a spectacular mid air catch. “ Nicely done Damien” said Coach Davidson. Damien was feeling pretty good about himself, walked by Elliot, tossed the ball at him “Top that” he said. “Won’t be too hard” Elliot responded. Elliot unfortunately did well, and he gloated all the way to the back to the bench.
After a ten minute water break coach yelled “Line up, lets separate the men from the boys”. Damien immediately started to try to find a place to hide. He could hit, but not with a lot of confidence. As the first couple of player hit, Damien was looking for Elliot knowing that he was a great hitter. This way he could position himself before him to impress the coaches first
“Nervous squirt?” Damien heard from behind him.
“Elliot, why don’t you just go strait to the Major Leagues, because obviously your soooo much better than we all are” said Damien.
“Maybe I will, I’ll let you know” Elliot said as he and his goons pushed by everyone.
At this point Damien’s body was flowing with anger; he wanted to hurt Elliot to make him pay for making him feel inferior. He was tired of feeling second rate. He could feel anger consuming every inch of his body and mind, like fire in his blood he felt close to exploding. Just then the bat in Damien’s hands started to shake along with Damien. Before he knew what was going on Damien saw everyone including Brian starting to scatter like bugs, like when someone turns the lights. Some of the players fell on the ground; some just took off for the school. As Damien stood there full of anger and shaking, Brian grabbed his arm “Come on man, must be a earthquake or something”.
Minutes later all the players were back in the field, all talking about the excitement. Damien was one player that did not say a word, standing there listening to everyone talk about the earthquake. Yet no one else was.
He was dripping in sweat thinking to him self “Am I just afraid of earthquakes? I sure don’t remember feeling no earthquake, Why am I all sweaty?
These questions weighed heavy on him until he walked through his front door. There was a light cool breeze coming from the west, it was not even hot, not nearly. The workout Coach Davidson was putting and the weather combined would not make him sweat like that. There was also the clear fact that everyone else felt the earth rumble under there feet except for him. Why? The shaking was obviously hard enough to think they had to run away, yet Damien didn’t feel it.
As he walked in the door his mother was rushing to get to work on time. “You have to work late tonight?” asked Damien
“Sweetie it’s Tuesday, I always do on Tuesday” she replied.
“How about that earthquake today, huh? That was some wild ride huh?
Damien’s mother turned to him “What Earthquake? You don’t do your chores you’ll feel an earthquake. I love you, got to run”
Damien thought to himself “No earthquake, I only live 3 miles from the school. If that were an Earthquake she would have felt it. What was that thing? What caused it?
2
As most 13 yr old children do, Damien pretty much forgot about what happen on the baseball field until Brian brought it up while riding the bus.
“Um…did your mom feel that earthquake? Cause my mom and sister did not feel that earthquake yesterday. Weird huh? Kind of makes you rack your brain trying to figure out what in the work that was”.
Damien quickly turned his head trying to act like he hadn’t heard the question. Knowing that responding would make him start thinking about it again. Finally he mumbled, “No, she did not feel it. Where is Seth? Did we pass his stop? Damien thought if he changed the subject he could avoid any more discussion of the “earthquake”.
“No? Weird, if you could not feel it at your house and they didn’t at my house, then was it a really an earthquake? I wonder if there was some kind of gas released form some illegal stuff buried under the baseball diamond. We should call the government!” Brian said laughing.
Damien raised his shoulders pretending to laugh. Knowing deep down inside that that there was something strange about that moment, almost possessing.
When Damien and Brian arrived at school Seth was leaning against the tree with a stupid grin on his face. “ What took you so long? Seth chuckled.
“What, you missed the bus…again? You’d be late to your own funeral, huh?” Brian said.
“Mommy hold your hand all the way here? Did she dress you too? Looks like it to me.” Damien knew Seth dressed better than both him and Brian, mostly because his parents are both doctors and they can afford the more trendy clothes.
. . .
When the three of them finally reached algebra class everyone else had already found their seats including Jade. Jade sits just to the left of Brian and just behind Damien, Seth to the left of Damien and in front of Brian, so Damien watched what he said so not to sound lame in front of her.
Mrs. Lopez was going over fractions and the FOIL method, which sounded like she was speaking Spanish to Damien. Math was not his thing, far from his thing. When he was younger Damien would do math problems and get the right answer, but would get low scores because he would not do the steps right. When his mother would go to his parent teachers conference the teacher would show her Damien’s work and explain that he did the steps wrong. Damien’s mother responded “But if he got the answer right what’s the problem”. Damien always agreed.
“Fractions” Damien groaned, “I hate fractions. None of this ½ or ¾ not even 9/16, nope I want the whole thing”
Brian and Seth chuckled, and Damien looked over his shoulder pretending to look at Brian but glancing at Jade. She did not seem amused, not sure why Damien thought that it was funny.
“Everyone split up into groups of 2.” Mrs. Lopez squawked. “Demonstrate the FOIL method to your partner”
Damien turned to his left to match up with Seth, but he had already turned around to pair up with Brian. “Sorry dude” Brian exclaimed.
This meant that Damien had to do that “look around” thing, which Damien always thought made him look like a chicken whipping he head around. Damien was lucky to see another “chicken”. He nodded at Sara Flegget, she nodded back as she came toward him. Sara said down “Hey there chicken” Damien said. “What?” She responded. “Oh nothing.
Over his left shoulder could hear Brian and Seth arguing who was going to go first. Then like out of thin air Brain asked Seth “Hey man, did you feel that earthquake yesterday after school”
“No, but I heard James Jenkins talking about it” Seth responded.
“Enough about the damn earthquake!” Damien said loudly, loud enough for everyone in class to hear him. Damien looked around, “um…sorry”
“Damien, what’s eating you?” Brain asked
“Nothing I am just tired of hearing about it, it was just a little shake”. Even though Damien never even felt it.
“I felt it. Yesterday about 3:30? Right? Sara said. “I was at cheer practice, but it didn’t seem like your usual earthquake. No it was more like the ground was hit by...”
“Enough!” yelled Damien as he stood up and ran out of the classroom. Not one person made a sound, not even Mrs. Lopez.
Seth and Brian looked at each other thinking one of them should go after him. Seth whispered, “You want to fill me in. What was that all about?”
Brain shrugged his shoulders “don’t know, we talked about it on the bus, but he was not this upset. Maybe he was really freaked out by it”
Freaked out was an understatement Damien was almost in tears when he reached the parking lot. He ran into the pool of autos slumping down and hiding in between them. Thinking to him self “get a grip man, what the world is wrong with me.” What ever it was Damien knew he better figure it out soon before the whole school thinks he is some kind of freak. Damien knows how important this first year of school is, it’s what draws social lines. Damien also knows which side of that line he wants to be on. Even though he despises Elliot he desperately wants to be on that side with him, and he will do what ever it takes to so.
Last time Damien skipped class is mother just about skinned him, so he knew he had to get back in there. Luckily he did not have class with Brian or Seth until 5th period, which meant that soonest he would have to see then was lunch. Not sure what he was going to say to them to explain his actions.
When Lunch came around Damien thought about hiding, but knew he would have to face his friends eventually. As he walked toward his usual hangout, he saw his friend eagerly waiting for him. Damien thought to himself “These are my best friends, I would trust them with anything. So just tell them”
“What up Dude?” Seth said, not trying to sound eager to ask him about his outburst.
“Can we take a walk?” Damien asked.
As they walked out toward the football field Damien said “Look, I am not crazy if that’s what your thinking. It’s just… Its just what happened yesterday was weird. Everyone in the area felt the Earthquake except me. I saw everyone running, I saw the poles shake, but I did not feel it. Then to find out that you could not feel it at home, it’s just weird.
“So you didn’t feel it, so what” Brian said.
“No you don’t understand. I think I caused it!
“You caused it? I actually caused the Grand Canyon” Seth laughed
Damien stopped walking “No, I am serious. I know how it sounds. Nuts, I know, but listen. When you grabbed my arm and pulled me toward the school and the shaking stopped. I looked down to see myself covered in sweat, and it was not even warm. Also when it happened Elliot has just made me furious with a comment he said to me, I had so much anger inside me. I wanted to make him pay! I could feel the anger rage though my body! I can’t even describe it, I could feel power with in me” Damien stopped talking and waited for a response from his friends.
“Ok your scaring me” Brian said
Just then the school bell rang “Meet me at my house tonight after baseball practice. I think my mom has to work we can talk about this more”
Seth and Brian agreed.
3
“Mom, where are my cleats? I need them for practice after school; today is the first day of tryouts. “Where did you leave them last, D? “D” is what Andrea always calls her only son; the D is short for Damien. Damien is your typical 13-year-old kid; he loves baseball, hanging out with his friend, and secretly girls. He is not sure how Mom would react if she knew how interested he really was in the opposite sex.
“D, make sure you don’t miss the bus again today, if I have to take you I am going to take it out on you butt”. “Promise?” Says Damien. Damien goes to Elliot Grant High School where he is a freshman; Elliot Grant has a school named after him just because he basically bought the school. Grant got his money from oil that his grandfather excavated in Texas back in the early 1900’s. For Damien the Grant name meant trouble, his mother works at Elliot Enterprises as a ___________, as for Damien; well he was kind of the arc enemy of “the” Elliot Grant Jr. That’s right he actually goes to the school named after his father.
Elliot is one of those kids you see on that Dawson Creek televisions show, you know the kind the ones that live in the perfect house, drive the perfect car, have the perfect girlfriend. Which in this case is Jade Hanson, the lead freshmen cheerleader and I am sure future prom queen. She was also the one woman that Damien did not have the nerve to say a word to. He tried once, right in front of Elliot “To me mustard please pass”. I can’t believe I messed up a line like that, “Please pass me the mustard” see I can say it now. I feel like such a retard. As his best friends Brian and Seth roll their eyes at each other and shake their heads. “What do you see in that Barbie doll anyway?” says Seth. I see my future, or at least I hope she is my future. “Your future better be on baseball diamond, remember lover boy we have tryouts after school”. Yeah, Yeah I know. That’s the only way I’ll ever get Jade to notice me.
When the big hand finally reached nine and 2:45 was actually here, Damien started to get nervous about what he was about to do. Baseball was his first love, being out there at third base all alone knowing that you could be the hero or the goat…what a rush, a scary rush. When Damien arrived at the locker room to change for tryouts Brian was already putting his cleats on. Damien rushed and got changed and headed out to the field, only to be confronted by Elliot. “Hey dip, stay away from my girl”. I was just asking for mustard. “Well unless you want to limp for Christmas, you’ll stay clear of Jade”.
Coach blew his whistle and both Elliot and Damien continued on to the field.
The team did there stretching and their sprints as Damien and Brian measured up there competition. Damien knew he would win a spot over Brian, but some of these other guys were big, real big. He felt good about his fielding skills; his was just as good as anyone else. His hitting was his concern, he could use some work in this area. “I hope we do fielding first so I can impress the coach that way. This was if my bat is nonexistent then I have a better chance,” Damien said to Brian. “You want to field last, that was you leave a good impression”. “Hummm, good point”, Damien says.
As luck would have it the team fielded first. Damien was all pumped up with his chance to impress the coaches with his superior defense. “Your the best, you can do this” he kept mumbling to himself. “What?” Brian asked. “Oh Nothing. Get ready your next”. As Brian positioned himself at second base, you could see the fear in his face. Brian knew that he was not the best, but he was going to give it all, however, by the time he was done Elliot and all his friends we all pointing and laughing. “Geez, Brian your supposed to stop the ball, not run from it”. Brian hung his head as he walked by the group still awaiting there turn. “Don’t worry about it man, we still get to bat!” Damien said as Brian passed him. “Damien get out here, lets see what you got” coach Davidson yelled. Damien took his position, dug his cleats in, and waited. Coach Davidson was hitting balls at him left and right, and couple right at his head. The last ball hit lead Damien to stretch out toward second base making a spectacular mid air catch. “ Nicely done Damien” said Coach Davidson. Damien was feeling pretty good about himself, walked by Elliot, tossed the ball at him “Top that” he said. “Won’t be too hard” Elliot responded. Elliot unfortunately did well, and he gloated all the way to the back to the bench.
After a ten minute water break coach yelled “Line up, lets separate the men from the boys”. Damien immediately started to try to find a place to hide. He could hit, but not with a lot of confidence. As the first couple of player hit, Damien was looking for Elliot knowing that he was a great hitter. This way he could position himself before him to impress the coaches first
“Nervous squirt?” Damien heard from behind him.
“Elliot, why don’t you just go strait to the Major Leagues, because obviously your soooo much better than we all are” said Damien.
“Maybe I will, I’ll let you know” Elliot said as he and his goons pushed by everyone.
At this point Damien’s body was flowing with anger; he wanted to hurt Elliot to make him pay for making him feel inferior. He was tired of feeling second rate. He could feel anger consuming every inch of his body and mind, like fire in his blood he felt close to exploding. Just then the bat in Damien’s hands started to shake along with Damien. Before he knew what was going on Damien saw everyone including Brian starting to scatter like bugs, like when someone turns the lights. Some of the players fell on the ground; some just took off for the school. As Damien stood there full of anger and shaking, Brian grabbed his arm “Come on man, must be a earthquake or something”.
Minutes later all the players were back in the field, all talking about the excitement. Damien was one player that did not say a word, standing there listening to everyone talk about the earthquake. Yet no one else was.
He was dripping in sweat thinking to him self “Am I just afraid of earthquakes? I sure don’t remember feeling no earthquake, Why am I all sweaty?
These questions weighed heavy on him until he walked through his front door. There was a light cool breeze coming from the west, it was not even hot, not nearly. The workout Coach Davidson was putting and the weather combined would not make him sweat like that. There was also the clear fact that everyone else felt the earth rumble under there feet except for him. Why? The shaking was obviously hard enough to think they had to run away, yet Damien didn’t feel it.
As he walked in the door his mother was rushing to get to work on time. “You have to work late tonight?” asked Damien
“Sweetie it’s Tuesday, I always do on Tuesday” she replied.
“How about that earthquake today, huh? That was some wild ride huh?
Damien’s mother turned to him “What Earthquake? You don’t do your chores you’ll feel an earthquake. I love you, got to run”
Damien thought to himself “No earthquake, I only live 3 miles from the school. If that were an Earthquake she would have felt it. What was that thing? What caused it?
2
As most 13 yr old children do, Damien pretty much forgot about what happen on the baseball field until Brian brought it up while riding the bus.
“Um…did your mom feel that earthquake? Cause my mom and sister did not feel that earthquake yesterday. Weird huh? Kind of makes you rack your brain trying to figure out what in the work that was”.
Damien quickly turned his head trying to act like he hadn’t heard the question. Knowing that responding would make him start thinking about it again. Finally he mumbled, “No, she did not feel it. Where is Seth? Did we pass his stop? Damien thought if he changed the subject he could avoid any more discussion of the “earthquake”.
“No? Weird, if you could not feel it at your house and they didn’t at my house, then was it a really an earthquake? I wonder if there was some kind of gas released form some illegal stuff buried under the baseball diamond. We should call the government!” Brian said laughing.
Damien raised his shoulders pretending to laugh. Knowing deep down inside that that there was something strange about that moment, almost possessing.
When Damien and Brian arrived at school Seth was leaning against the tree with a stupid grin on his face. “ What took you so long? Seth chuckled.
“What, you missed the bus…again? You’d be late to your own funeral, huh?” Brian said.
“Mommy hold your hand all the way here? Did she dress you too? Looks like it to me.” Damien knew Seth dressed better than both him and Brian, mostly because his parents are both doctors and they can afford the more trendy clothes.
. . .
When the three of them finally reached algebra class everyone else had already found their seats including Jade. Jade sits just to the left of Brian and just behind Damien, Seth to the left of Damien and in front of Brian, so Damien watched what he said so not to sound lame in front of her.
Mrs. Lopez was going over fractions and the FOIL method, which sounded like she was speaking Spanish to Damien. Math was not his thing, far from his thing. When he was younger Damien would do math problems and get the right answer, but would get low scores because he would not do the steps right. When his mother would go to his parent teachers conference the teacher would show her Damien’s work and explain that he did the steps wrong. Damien’s mother responded “But if he got the answer right what’s the problem”. Damien always agreed.
“Fractions” Damien groaned, “I hate fractions. None of this ½ or ¾ not even 9/16, nope I want the whole thing”
Brian and Seth chuckled, and Damien looked over his shoulder pretending to look at Brian but glancing at Jade. She did not seem amused, not sure why Damien thought that it was funny.
“Everyone split up into groups of 2.” Mrs. Lopez squawked. “Demonstrate the FOIL method to your partner”
Damien turned to his left to match up with Seth, but he had already turned around to pair up with Brian. “Sorry dude” Brian exclaimed.
This meant that Damien had to do that “look around” thing, which Damien always thought made him look like a chicken whipping he head around. Damien was lucky to see another “chicken”. He nodded at Sara Flegget, she nodded back as she came toward him. Sara said down “Hey there chicken” Damien said. “What?” She responded. “Oh nothing.
Over his left shoulder could hear Brian and Seth arguing who was going to go first. Then like out of thin air Brain asked Seth “Hey man, did you feel that earthquake yesterday after school”
“No, but I heard James Jenkins talking about it” Seth responded.
“Enough about the damn earthquake!” Damien said loudly, loud enough for everyone in class to hear him. Damien looked around, “um…sorry”
“Damien, what’s eating you?” Brain asked
“Nothing I am just tired of hearing about it, it was just a little shake”. Even though Damien never even felt it.
“I felt it. Yesterday about 3:30? Right? Sara said. “I was at cheer practice, but it didn’t seem like your usual earthquake. No it was more like the ground was hit by...”
“Enough!” yelled Damien as he stood up and ran out of the classroom. Not one person made a sound, not even Mrs. Lopez.
Seth and Brian looked at each other thinking one of them should go after him. Seth whispered, “You want to fill me in. What was that all about?”
Brain shrugged his shoulders “don’t know, we talked about it on the bus, but he was not this upset. Maybe he was really freaked out by it”
Freaked out was an understatement Damien was almost in tears when he reached the parking lot. He ran into the pool of autos slumping down and hiding in between them. Thinking to him self “get a grip man, what the world is wrong with me.” What ever it was Damien knew he better figure it out soon before the whole school thinks he is some kind of freak. Damien knows how important this first year of school is, it’s what draws social lines. Damien also knows which side of that line he wants to be on. Even though he despises Elliot he desperately wants to be on that side with him, and he will do what ever it takes to so.
Last time Damien skipped class is mother just about skinned him, so he knew he had to get back in there. Luckily he did not have class with Brian or Seth until 5th period, which meant that soonest he would have to see then was lunch. Not sure what he was going to say to them to explain his actions.
When Lunch came around Damien thought about hiding, but knew he would have to face his friends eventually. As he walked toward his usual hangout, he saw his friend eagerly waiting for him. Damien thought to himself “These are my best friends, I would trust them with anything. So just tell them”
“What up Dude?” Seth said, not trying to sound eager to ask him about his outburst.
“Can we take a walk?” Damien asked.
As they walked out toward the football field Damien said “Look, I am not crazy if that’s what your thinking. It’s just… Its just what happened yesterday was weird. Everyone in the area felt the Earthquake except me. I saw everyone running, I saw the poles shake, but I did not feel it. Then to find out that you could not feel it at home, it’s just weird.
“So you didn’t feel it, so what” Brian said.
“No you don’t understand. I think I caused it!
“You caused it? I actually caused the Grand Canyon” Seth laughed
Damien stopped walking “No, I am serious. I know how it sounds. Nuts, I know, but listen. When you grabbed my arm and pulled me toward the school and the shaking stopped. I looked down to see myself covered in sweat, and it was not even warm. Also when it happened Elliot has just made me furious with a comment he said to me, I had so much anger inside me. I wanted to make him pay! I could feel the anger rage though my body! I can’t even describe it, I could feel power with in me” Damien stopped talking and waited for a response from his friends.
“Ok your scaring me” Brian said
Just then the school bell rang “Meet me at my house tonight after baseball practice. I think my mom has to work we can talk about this more”
Seth and Brian agreed.
3
