I Love The Kinks, But.....

[R Nitelight]

.....isn't it a bit too early to be hearing Christmas songs? They just played 'Father Christmas' on the radio.

[Edited by R Nitelight on 11-24-2000 at 10:54 AM]

 

[Bobtoad777]

The Night Santa went Crazy

Down in the workshop all the elves were makin' toys
For the good Gentile girls and the good Gentile boys
When the boss busted in, nearly scared 'em half to death
Had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath
From his beard to his boots he was covered with ammo
Like a big fat drunk disgruntled Yuletide Rambo
And he smiled as he said with a twinkle in his eye,
"Merry Christmas to all... now you're all gonna die!"

The night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he'd been gettin' a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain

Well, the workshop is gone now he decided to bomb it
Everywhere you'll find pieces of Cupid and Comet
And he tied up his helpers and he held the elves hostage
And he ground up poor Rudolph into reindeer sausage
He got Dancer and Prancer with an old German Luger
And he slashed up Dasher just like Freddie Krueger
And he picked up a flamethrower and he barbequed Blitzen
And he took a big bite and said, "It tastes just like chicken!"

The night Santa went crazy
The night Kris Kringle went nuts
Now you can hardly walk around the North Pole
Without steppin' in reindeer guts

There's the National Guard and the FBI
There's a van from the Eyewitness News
And helicopters circlin' 'round in the sky
And the bullets are flyin', the body count's risin'
And everyone's dyin' to know, oh Santa, why?
My my my my my my
You used to be such a jolly guy

[soft, pleasant, original version]

Yes, Virginia, now Santa's doing time
In a federal prison for his infamous crime
Hey, little friend, now don't you cry no more tears
He'll be out with good behavior in 700 more years
But now Vixen's in therapy, and Donner's still nervous
And the elves all got jobs working for the postal service
And they say Mrs. Claus, she's on the phone every night
With her lawyer negotiating the movie rights

[extra gory version]

Yes, Virginia, now Santa Claus is dead
Some guy from the SWAT team blew a hole through his head
Yes, little friend now, as his brain's on the floor
Guess they won't have the fat guy to kick around any more
But now there's no more presents for the children's enjoyment
And the elves gotta stand in line to file for unemployment
And they say Mrs. Claus, she's on the phone every night
With her lawyer negotiating the movie rights

They're talkin' 'bout - the night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nicholas flipped
Broke his back for some milk and cookies
Sounds to me like he was tired of gettin' gypped

Wo, the night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he'd been gettin' a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain

Wo, something finally must have snapped in his brain
Tell ya, something finally must have snapped... in his brain

 

[Bobtoad777]

Christmas at Ground Zero

It's Christmas at Ground Zero
There's music in the air
The sleigh bells are ringin' and the carolers are singin'
While the air raid sirens blare

It's Christmas at Ground Zero
The button has been pressed
The radio just let us know
That this is not a test

Everywhere the atom bombs are droppin'
It's the end of all humanity
No more time for last minute shoppin'
It's time to face your final destiny

Well, it's Christmas at Ground Zero
There's panic in the crowd
We can dodge debris while we trim the tree
Underneath a mushroom cloud

(BRIDGE: music with air raid siren in the background)

You might hear some reindeer on your rooftop
Or Jack Frost on your windowsill
But if someone's climbin' down your chimney
You better load your gun and shoot to kill

Oh, it's Christmas at Ground Zero
And if the radiation level's okay
I'll go out with you and see the all new
Mutations on New Year's Day

It's Christmas at Ground Zero
Just secondsleft to go
I'll duck and cover with my yuletide lover
Underneath the mistletoe

It's Christmas at Ground Zero
Now the missiles are on their way
What a crazy fluke;
We're gonna get nuked
On this jolly holiday

What a crazy fluke;
We're gonna get nuked
On this jol-ly hol-i-dayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

(FADE OUT with air raid siren blaring)

 

[Nobody Special]

Bobtoad *shaking head* you've been in listening to "Werad Al" Again haven't you?? BTW I do like those clasic "Al" tunes too Esp. "Fuck the Macaraina" it s Hellarious and had me rotflmao... and that "Jerry Springer" too

E

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

Another true, little Spark story....

A couple of years ago - I was walking, 6pm'ish, dark, winter, cold - over on the West Side right off the Park - rich folk territory - near the Dakota. A tall thin guy's walking toward me with a bag of gorceries - he get's up to me - bread and butter you know. It's Ray!!! He grins at me when we make eye contact - he knows I've spotted a celeb. But I just say "hey" and keep walking.

Maybe he was staying with Sting and Trudy.

That's it.

 

[Sammyjo]

Well, a few weeks ago, yes weeks, my aunt and grandma were at the store. The flurries began while they were inside. When they exited the store, my aunt was quoted as saying, "Snow, I have to get home and play my Christmas music. When are we putting the tree up? Let's put the village up." She was literally acting like a 5 year old for all the shoppers to see...ugh!!! I'm embarrassed, and I wasn't even there. Some people get so wound up.

In my opinion, YES, it is too early for Christmas anything. I guess shopping is ok...but all that other crap is pissing me off. No, the shopping is pissing me off, too.

 

[Roll-One]

Ewwwwwwwww

shopping period pisses me off, lol

The stores around here keep putting out Christmas stuff earlier every year.

Maybe there trying to start Christmas in July or somethin...

 

[Cheyenne]

Ah, all of you are Bah Humbug people, aren't you?

My Christmas cd's come out the day after Thanksgiving. It is a 2 hour drive to our favorite shopping mall and the Christmas music plays the whole way. I'll switch back and forth between Christmas and "regular" for a week or so yet and then it will be Christmas music with me singing along for the rest of December! Nothing like a good "Hark, the Herald Angels Sing" to get you going on the way to work in the morning.

Mannheim Steamroller is a favorite for Christmas Music followed by Amy Grant's first Christmas album from years and years ago. Let the music play!

 

[Nobody Special]

I still prefer the "Weird Al" Christmas songs better then the Traditional ones, I don't know they just have more of the Christmas Spitit in them..

E

 

[pandora]

When I was working retail, it was policy that the day after Holloween, the Christmas music had to start. To me that really is too early and hearing the same songs day after day, hour after hour, got to be more than annoying. It wasn[t too bad when I was busting my ass moving this two inches because someone who wasn't even at one of my stores decide that it was make this DM's life miserable day, but you know what, even while i was calling this exec. some choice name, I'd see some little kid come in the store, hear the music and most times start singing. I love kids at Christmas, they make it so much fun, I'd come up around to them and help them sing along. As for shopping, I won't be able to get out this year to do much of that, but just like the music, after being in retail, I don't think I'm going to be missing that crowd.

 

[Nobody Special's wife]

Hay I like Christmas Its my favorite time of year I just don't like the mad house where every damn parent has to buy there children 1000$ worth of toys that they will stop playing with in 2days ....I think I would spend less and still get more what would you think...


THE WIFE

 

[Roll-One]

Hanging my head

Cheyenne, your right, i'm being a scrooge..sorry

Pandora, i never thought about that, Christmas is the time of happiness and joy.

To see the smile on a kids face, when he hears the music, or he see's Santa in the stores, is worth all the hassel (?sp) that comes with the early music and the crowds when shopping....

Thanks you two, you just give me a better outlook on the Christmas holidays...

 

[Guest]