I live in a rat's hole!

[Svenskaflicka]

Your apartment's score is 49.


Your apartment is the absolute worst it could possibly be. Why did you move here? And could that reason possibly be more important to you than your health and well-being?

I should hope that this arrangement is only temporary--that you are escaping this situation next semester. Or perhaps you are part of some psychology experiment. Or wacky mid-80's gender-bending teen movie.

Either that or you have a rottweiler. Any of the above is recommended.

You GOTTA try this quiz!!! Better Apartment

I can't believe I actually got to answer "murder" as the worst thing that has ever happened in my nieghborhood!

 

[Guest]

Your apartment's score is 70.


Not the greatest part of town, really. Is it a country heartache of a place, with prematurely withered women tucking back mentholated Camel Lights and talking about the man John Law put in jail last night? Or a college backwater, which the bouncing university nubiles have to run through because any distance less than the mile radius it is from campus isn't enough to burn off the lemon gelato they had with lunch?

It's possible I'm bitter, but you're bitter, too. Rest assured your neighborhood is exactly right for telling pleasant past-tense stories about once your rotting woodwork and yowling neighbors are colored bittersweet with nostalgia.

And if anyone bounces down your sidewalk, by God, it's your patriotic privilege to watch.

 

[Guest]

Your apartment's score is 57.

Not the greatest part of town, really. Is it a country heartache of a place, with prematurely withered women tucking back mentholated Camel Lights and talking about the man John Law put in jail last night? Or a college backwater, which the bouncing university nubiles have to run through because any distance less than the mile radius it is from campus isn't enough to burn off the lemon gelato they had with lunch?

It's possible I'm bitter, but you're bitter, too. Rest assured your neighborhood is exactly right for telling pleasant past-tense stories about once your rotting woodwork and yowling neighbors are colored bittersweet with nostalgia.

And if anyone bounces down your sidewalk, by God, it's your patriotic privilege to watch.
-----
I had to answer 'murder' too. But I love my flat and would only move if I could afford to live next to my fave takeout restaurant (Thai). P.

 

[R. Richard]

Does it count as murder if the SOB had it coming?

 

[doormouse]

Your apartment's score is 44

Yay, it confirmed what I already knew

 

[shereads]

I live under the leadership of a rat's hole. (See Clare's 4th Reich thread)

 

[Guest]

Does it count as murder if the SOB had it coming?

That doen't count as murder/ They mark those cases DSF and forget 'em.

 

[rosco rathbone]

troll house here.

 

[snooper]

Your apartment's score is 28.

Your apartment is the absolute worst it could possibly be. Why did you move here? And could that reason possibly be more important to you than your health and well-being?

I should hope that this arrangement is only temporary--that you are escaping this situation next semester. Or perhaps you are part of some psychology experiment. Or wacky mid-80's gender-bending teen movie.

Either that or you have a rottweiler. Any of the above is recommended.

I like living where I do. I spent a long time looking for it, and a lot of money getting it right before moving in.

Why does this quiz presume so much?
My accommodation is on two floors, so it has stairs. By dint of a little experimentation I discover that stairs are Bad Things. If I didn't have stairs how would I get from one floor to the other?

That is just one of the assumptions, presumably based on the "need" for a lift (US=elevator) in every building.

 

[oggbashan]

My score is 91 but the quiz accuses me of lying.

But I have a sea view from all rooms, a garden, ample parking, good neighbours and even the cats like it.

It's a seaside house, not an apartment.

Og

 

[vargas111]

I thought the "better girlfriend quiz was more interesting and look what they said about her, meanies!

That girl is poi-sooooon--and I thank you for letting me slide in one more kickin'-it-old-school hip hop song. That means one of us is having a good time, and that one is not you, because you are burning in a lake of fire every moment you're with this woman.

Please, please, run away from her. You are one Miller Lite away from a Judge Joe Brown episode.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

I don't have an apartment so I did the better family one....

Your score as a human being is 54.


This makes you like The Simpsons.

This score isn't so bad. There's hugs and kisses at the end of the day, no matter if they're cynical or sandwiched between comments about how wide your ass is getting. You haven't beat your parents -- you joined them.

The bright side is you have a lot of stories to share, and living through all this malfunction means you're perfectly equipped for dealing with all the asshats in the real world. After your experience with your family, you'll be starved for a new one. Thus you'll love your in-laws, who'll love you back.

 

[CharleyH]

I like the title of this thread, though my initial response was going to be well just thank god the rats don't live in your hole considering the bushy tailed ones have made mine into their personal spa. Nonetheless:

Your apartment's score is 76.

Not a bad place to live, all told. The problems with your apartment are the livable, wacky problems of living anywhere next to other people--sexually eccentric neighbors, flowerbed-defiling cats and scarcely enforced leash laws--the dim mild headaches of the workaday body, and you should be grateful.

But if you see Subaru Joe's unneutered mastiff cross your yard again, you're putting pepper spray in your Super Soaker.