I know what p_p_man's problem is!

Cheyenne

Ms. Smarty Pantsless
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DEPRESSED MAN DIAGNOSED AS "BRITISH"

George Farthing, an expatriate British man living in America, was recently diagnosed as clinically depressed, tanked up on anti- depressants and scheduled for controversial Shock Therapy when doctors realised he wasn't depressed at all - only British.

Not depressed, just British Mr Farthing, a British man whose characteristic pessimism and gloomy perspective were interpreted as serious clinical depression, was led on a nightmare journey through the American psychiatric system. Doctors described Farthing as suffering with Pervasive Negative Anticipation - a belief that everything will turn out for the worst, whether it's trains arriving late, England's chances at winning any international sports event or even his own prospects to get ahead in life and achieve his dreams.

"The satisfaction Mr Farthing seemed to get from his pessimism seemed particularly pathological," reported the doctors. "They put me on everything - Lithium, Prozac, St John's Wort," said Mr Farthing. "They even told me to sit in front of a big light for an hour a day or I'd become suicidal. I kept telling them this was all pointless and they said that it was exactly that sort of attitude that got me here in the first place."

Running out of ideas, his doctors finally resorted to a course of "weapons grade MDMA", the only noticeable effect of which was six hours of speedy repetitions of the phrases "mustn't grumble" and "not too bad, really". It was then that Mr Farthing was referred to a psychotherapist.

Suicidal?
Dr Isaac Horney explored Mr Farthing's family history and couldn't believe his ears. "His story of a childhood growing up in a grey little town where it rained every day, treeless streets of identical houses and passionately backing a football team who never won, seemed to be typical depressive ideation or false memory. Mr Farthing had six months of therapy but seemed to mainly want to talk about the weather - how miserable and cold it was in winter and later how difficult and hot it was in summer. I felt he wasn't responding to therapy at all and so I recommended drastic action - namely ECT or shock treatment".

"I was all strapped down on the table and they were about to put the rubber bit in my mouth when the psychiatric nurse picked up on my accent," said Mr Farthing. "I remember her saying 'Oh my God, I think we're making a terrible mistake'."

Nurse Alice Sheen was a big fan of British comedy giving her an understanding of the British psyche. "Classic comedy characters like Tony Hancock, Albert Steptoe and Frank Spencer are all hopeless cases with no chance of ever doing well or escaping their circumstances," she explained to the baffled US medics. "That's funny in Britain and is not seen as pathological at all."

Identifying Mr Farthing as British changed his diagnosis from 'clinical depression' to 'rather quaint and charming' and he was immediately discharged from hospital, with a selection of brightly coloured leaflets and an "I love New York" T-shirt.
 
Last edited:
Cheyenne said:
even his own prospects to get head in life and achieve his dreams.

Oh, Cheyenne, you're killin' me here. LMAO But I do agree with you.
 
Re: Re: I know what p_p_man's problem is!

April said:


Oh, Cheyenne, you're killin' me here. LMAO But I do agree with you.

oops! :eek:

Freudian slip in fixing spacing of the article for the board. :D
 
How will they ever correctly diagnose p_p_man, though? He claims to be the European.



Great article, Cheyenne. Perfect for a smile first thing this morning.
 
That's good,very good.

Honestly,though,we're not all like that.

I have even been known to laugh,not often but at least once or twice.
 
A diagnosis at last!

Now on to the treatment protocol!

Er........how do you treat WPD ?

Wankerous Personality Disorder

Rhumb:D :p
 
Where is Miles when you need him? All he has to do is post and p_p_man shows up. :)
 
Cheyenne said:
DEPRESSED MAN DIAGNOSED AS "BRITISH"

George Farthing, an expatriate British man living in America, was recently diagnosed as clinically depressed, tanked up on anti- depressants and scheduled for controversial Shock Therapy when doctors realised he wasn't depressed at all - only British.

Not depressed, just British Mr Farthing, a British man whose characteristic pessimism and gloomy perspective were interpreted as serious clinical depression, was led on a nightmare journey through the American psychiatric system. Doctors described Farthing as suffering with Pervasive Negative Anticipation - a belief that everything will turn out for the worst, whether it's trains arriving late, England's chances at winning any international sports event or even his own prospects to get ahead in life and achieve his dreams.

"The satisfaction Mr Farthing seemed to get from his pessimism seemed particularly pathological," reported the doctors. "They put me on everything - Lithium, Prozac, St John's Wort," said Mr Farthing. "They even told me to sit in front of a big light for an hour a day or I'd become suicidal. I kept telling them this was all pointless and they said that it was exactly that sort of attitude that got me here in the first place."

Running out of ideas, his doctors finally resorted to a course of "weapons grade MDMA", the only noticeable effect of which was six hours of speedy repetitions of the phrases "mustn't grumble" and "not too bad, really". It was then that Mr Farthing was referred to a psychotherapist.

Suicidal?
Dr Isaac Horney explored Mr Farthing's family history and couldn't believe his ears. "His story of a childhood growing up in a grey little town where it rained every day, treeless streets of identical houses and passionately backing a football team who never won, seemed to be typical depressive ideation or false memory. Mr Farthing had six months of therapy but seemed to mainly want to talk about the weather - how miserable and cold it was in winter and later how difficult and hot it was in summer. I felt he wasn't responding to therapy at all and so I recommended drastic action - namely ECT or shock treatment".

"I was all strapped down on the table and they were about to put the rubber bit in my mouth when the psychiatric nurse picked up on my accent," said Mr Farthing. "I remember her saying 'Oh my God, I think we're making a terrible mistake'."

Nurse Alice Sheen was a big fan of British comedy giving her an understanding of the British psyche. "Classic comedy characters like Tony Hancock, Albert Steptoe and Frank Spencer are all hopeless cases with no chance of ever doing well or escaping their circumstances," she explained to the baffled US medics. "That's funny in Britain and is not seen as pathological at all."

Identifying Mr Farthing as British changed his diagnosis from 'clinical depression' to 'rather quaint and charming' and he was immediately discharged from hospital, with a selection of brightly coloured leaflets and an "I love New York" T-shirt.

ROTFLMAO!!

Nice one. This can go on the great British inventions thread. We invented Britishness...

:D :D :D
 
:) Glad you liked it. It cracked me up, too, and "p_p_man" just jumped into my head when I read it.

See? Now you have a new excuse the next time one of us Americans tells you that you are fucking nuts.
 
Cheyenne said:
:) Glad you liked it. It cracked me up, too, and "p_p_man" just jumped into my head when I read it.

See? Now you have a new excuse the next time one of us Americans tells you that you are fucking nuts.


Chey, he doesn't need an excuse, he is fucking nuts!

It's a national trait of the English.
 
bluespoke said:

Chey, he doesn't need an excuse, he is fucking nuts!

It's a national trait of the English.

If you read my comment closely, that is essentially what I said. ;)
 
Cheyenne said:


If you read my comment closely, that is essentially what I said. ;)

I could have sworn it said British. There is a BIG difference between British and English.
 
Re: A diagnosis at last!

RhumbRunner13 said:
Now on to the treatment protocol!

Er........how do you treat WPD ?

Wankerous Personality Disorder

Rhumb:D :p

1mg Ativan shots in the ass Q 12 hours...

This was Hi-fucking-larious, Chey!
 
bluespoke said:


I could have sworn it said British. There is a BIG difference between British and English.

There is? :confused:

Not to Americans there isn't.










:p Just teasing. But, then again, there isn't!
 
Re: Re: A diagnosis at last!

storm1969 said:


1mg Ativan shots in the ass Q 12 hours...

Who would volunteer to administer THAT to p_p_man though!
 
Re: Re: Re: A diagnosis at last!

Cheyenne said:


Who would volunteer to administer THAT to p_p_man though!

It's more fun than you might think ;)
 
I have tears!

You know, the other Brits kept telling me in another thread not too long ago, just just don't get it...
 
SINthysist said:
I have tears!

You know, the other Brits kept telling me in another thread not too long ago, just just don't get it...

You mean the Brits recognize this in themselves? :)
 
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