I know its been done before, but....

DevilishTexan

Literotica Guru
Joined
Dec 3, 2003
Posts
71,963

Distilled from Disorder in the Court: Great Fractured Moments in Courtroom History by Charles M. Sevilla


These things were actually stated and recorded by court reporters.


Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.


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Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15th.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.


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Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.


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Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?


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Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.


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Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy."
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.


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Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.


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Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?


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Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?


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Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?


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Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at the time?


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Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
Q: None.
A: Were there any girls?


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Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?


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Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male or a female?


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Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.


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Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.


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Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.


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Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.


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Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?


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Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.


Another reason I have said many attorneys remind me of used car salesman. And I don't mean the salesman at big dealerships either but the ones at U-Tote-The-Note Motors.
 
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I really liked the last one, although none of the lawyers I know are like that, not even the Texas one ;)

Thanks for the laugh.
 
Post your own thread, and I will suck your balls like I used to.
Sweet christ.
 
Killswitch said:
answer my pm's bitch.
What do you want me to say?
I do not own her or tell her what to do.
She wants to talk, she will.
I wish I had that much pull.
Sorry KS.
Why are you even PM'ing me? Haven't we already gone through this?
 
luxey313 said:
Post your own thread, and I will suck your balls like I used to.
Sweet christ.
See KS. Now ya know why I have 60, 000 sumthin' threads. My balls are so wrinkled they look like walnuts.

Luxey ended up buyin' a fuckin' spray bottle and just talks dirty now.
 
DevilishTexan said:
Luxey ended up buyin' a fuckin' spray bottle and just talks dirty now.
Is this Texas for something?
I am lost in translation.
 
luxey313 said:
What do you want me to say?
I do not own her or tell her what to do.
She wants to talk, she will.
I wish I had that much pull.
Sorry KS.
Why are you even PM'ing me? Haven't we already gone through this?


Translation: Ish told her to put me on iggy.

:rolleyes:
 
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