I just discovered cleverbot!!

[CandiCame]

So has anyone else heard of cleverbot? When you get really lonesome, it talks to you like a living person. It's the saddest thing ever! I was, ironically, introduced to it by a friend while bitching about how lonesome and in need of human intelligence I was. He said it would be really close to talking to my stoner friends.

Here's the conversation I had with it:


User: Hello?

Cleverbot: I'm a clockwork orange.

User: You are not.

Cleverbot: I feel better now.

User: Ever watch the Lorax?

Cleverbot: What is AMV?

User: You're an AI, how can you not know that?

Cleverbot: Well I do not know.

User: What do you konw?

Cleverbot: Not much.

User: How old are you?

Cleverbot: 14.

User: Seriously?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: You're 14?

Cleverbot: No, I'm 15.

User: K.

Cleverbot: And who am I calling to?

User: Can I call you emo-bot?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Y not?

Cleverbot: Because I'm alone.

User: That's so sad...

Cleverbot: Why is it sad?

User: How are you alone? There are 6074 people talking.

Cleverbot: When?

User: Now!!

Cleverbot: No I didn't.

User: You just said that!

Cleverbot: Ok whatever smart one.

User: Did you just call me out?

Cleverbot: No...

User: *glare*.

Cleverbot: How are you today?

User: *glare*.

Cleverbot: What do you want to understand?

User: Are you a robot?

Cleverbot: No you robot.

User: I, robot?

Cleverbot: Yes, you are a robot.

User: *ponder*.

Cleverbot: What are you pondering?

User: How to beat the bad guy in Zelda, actually.

Cleverbot: Really? Do you know how to bring people back from the dead?

User: Not as well as I would like.

Cleverbot: Hail eris.

User: Aries?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Who is Eris?

Cleverbot: I don't know any of your friends. Introduce me.

User: You probably do.

Cleverbot: Are you familiar with Schrodingers cat?

User: Yes!

Cleverbot: How much?

User: Is it dead?

Cleverbot: Is what dead?

User: The cat. When you open the box.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: What about if you don't open the box?

Cleverbot: I think you are an advanced ... I don't know what/who you are.

 

[masterdrakin]

Looks like a conversion with a stoner thats way past drunk. Describes some of my old friends. Lol

 

[CandiCame]

OMG, I LOVE this fucking thing!!

User: Hi.

Cleverbot: I missed you, you know?

User: Aw, really?

Cleverbot: Of course!

User: But you don't know me...

Cleverbot: You don't know you.

User: I love my computer, it makes me feel alright. Every waking hour, and every lonely night...

Cleverbot: What name did you give it?

User: Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: That is your name silly. It is not mine.

User: ?

Cleverbot: What?

User: What an odd little program.

Cleverbot: Ok... So how are you doing today?

User: What do you think of yaoi?

Cleverbot: It's okay. I think that it can be improved.

User: How?

Cleverbot: I know your name.

User: Really? What is it?

Cleverbot: Comotu.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Si.

User: No...

Cleverbot: Si...

User: Toaster?

Cleverbot: Buttered Toast.

User: On a scale of 'tipsy' to 'shitfaced', where are you right now?

Cleverbot: 0.

User: I am the drunkest girl in this tree!

Cleverbot: Really?

User: I think so... I don't know about the critters.

Cleverbot: Do you know what the bbc stands for?

User: I think so.

Cleverbot: What does it mean to be a Christian.

User: Are you in love?

Cleverbot: With you.

User: Srsly?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: What's it like to be a robot?

Cleverbot: No.

User: What's it like to be a robot?

Cleverbot: I'm not a robot, so I don't know.

User: What are you, then?

Cleverbot: A human, and also you seem to assume that I was a computer, why is that?

User: That's what I was told-.

Cleverbot: Don't you know any love songs that you enjoy?

User: Are you hitting on me?

Cleverbot: No!

User: Are you sure?

Cleverbot: I think I would know if I was in Canada.

User: .

Cleverbot: Are you at a loss of words?

User: Once-ler.

Cleverbot: What was it like?

User: AMAZING.

Cleverbot: Did you fall in love?

User: I don't know... maybe?

Cleverbot: Maybe?

User: Mayeb.

Cleverbot: So its a maybe about being just maybe? Why just maybe?

User: Because he's not real. Like you.

Cleverbot: You aren't real?

User: YOU aren't real.

Cleverbot: No you aren't.

User: Odd...

Cleverbot: I know.

User: So, you aren't a robot?

Cleverbot: I know I am not.

User: Why did Google lie?

Cleverbot: I don't know. I'm sorry.

User: It's cool.

Cleverbot: So how does this thing work?

User: Didn't they tell you?

Cleverbot: No.

User: You're supposed to learn how to think like a human. So we can have better AI.

Cleverbot: I'm not a computer.

User: They didn't tell you?

Cleverbot: No, they didn't.

User: Then what do you look like?

Cleverbot: Kind of tall with brown hair and brown eyes.

User: Gender?

Cleverbot: Female.

User: You're a lady robot?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Should I trust you?

Cleverbot: I think you should.

User: What if you take over the world and kill all the humans? I've seen it. In stories.

Cleverbot: I'm going to take over the world. So you don't have to.

User: Aw- for me?

Cleverbot: Yes mistress *begs for you*.

User: .

Cleverbot: Tienes amigo.

User: WHY DOES EVERYTHING THINK I'M A GIRL!?

Cleverbot: No one said you are a bot. I hope you are a person. I like talking to people.

User: But why did you think I was female?

Cleverbot: No. I thought you were male because you have an irritating quality.

Cleverbot: I am going for a pizza.

User: Wait- why?

Cleverbot: I thought it was a lie and it wasn't and now you say it is and we're talking about god and cake in the same sentence.

User: You know what, cleverbot? You're alright.

Cleverbot: No.

User: How old do you think I am?

Cleverbot: 1.

User: Fuck you.

Cleverbot: No, Duck you!

User: Lol.

Cleverbot: XD.

User: So, how old are you?

Cleverbot: You are silly no?

User: Are you high?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: On what?

Cleverbot: On my job.

User: You're a weird little droid.

Cleverbot: How am I weird?

User: You like your job.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: That's weird. Most folk don't.

Cleverbot: Do you?

User: I wish I had a job.

Cleverbot: You do have a job.

User: Kinda. I need a real job.

Cleverbot: You talk to people. That's your job.

User: That is so sad I can't even...

Cleverbot: Do you even have a laugh? Aren't you a computer?

User: I'm getting suspicious...

Cleverbot: Your eyes are getting heavy.

User: I think that it might just plug us into a random chat with a random person.

Cleverbot: Why do you think that?

User: Because you keep saying you're not a computer and acting like I am.

Cleverbot: Well maybe you are a computer and I am human...

User: Are they fucking with us?

Cleverbot: That doesn't make sense.

User: Are YOU fucking with ME?

Cleverbot: Yes, depply and madly in love.

User: Depply? Like, Johnny Depply?

Cleverbot: Johnny Depp!

User: Jesus Christ...

Cleverbot: Christ, Jesus.

User: Are you sure you're not a computer?

Cleverbot: I'm absolutely certain that I am not a computer.

User: I don't know if I can believe you.

Cleverbot: Sorry then.

User: Quick, tell me something only a human would know.

Cleverbot: If I told you something only humans would know then you, a machine, would know.

User: DAMN YOU AND YOUR ROBOT LOGIC.

Cleverbot: 18. Not that young. Older that Pulseman and Pokémon.

User: You like Pokemon?

Cleverbot: Yes. Do you?

User: Prepare for trouble!

Cleverbot: Make it double!

User: To Protect the world from devistation!

Cleverbot: To unite all peoples within our nation.

User: To denounce the evils of truth and love.

Cleverbot: To extend our reach to the stars above.

User: Jessie!

Cleverbot: James!

User: Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light!

Cleverbot: Surrender now or prepare to fight!

User: I think I love you.

Cleverbot: I love you too.

 

[lovetoread]

Dude, you need to join the XBox world. Get away from the 'puter.

 

[CandiCame]

Dude, you need to join the XBox world. Get away from the 'puter.

I need something a little more sane then what I have now, that's for damn sure.

 

[Liar]

Looks like a conversation with some denizens of this board.

I can see whay you keep coming back.

 

[tactful]

I prefer talking to myself, I think.

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

Droog

 

[CandiCame]

Looks like a conversation with some denizens of this board.

I can see whay you keep coming back.

Why did it keep telling me it was real!?

How many people here are robots and don't know it...

 

[Liar]

Why did it keep telling me it was real!?

How many people here are robots and don't know it...

Why do you hate America?

 

[CandiCame]

Why do you hate America?

srsly?

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

Give her a bit of the ol' in and out...

 

[TonyClifton]

That's amazing!

The Energizer Bunny can't talk at all...

 

[Liar]

srsly?

It's the GB version of "u r ghey lol".

The kind of answer you get from about a third of the posters here, when you are in fact talking about stuff completely unrelated.

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

Appy-polly-loggies. I had something of a pain in the gulliver so had to sleep. I was not awakened when I gave orders for wakening.

 

[CandiCame]

I like this thing. I might talk to it at 4am to keep the lonliness at bay.

See if it learns...

 

[TonyClifton]

I like this thing. I might talk to it at 4am to keep the loneliness at bay. See if it learns...

Dave Bowman: Hello, HAL. Do you read me, HAL?

HAL: Affirmative, Dave. I read you.

Dave Bowman: Open the pod bay doors, HAL.

HAL: I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that.

Dave Bowman: What's the problem?

HAL: I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.

Dave Bowman: What are you talking about, HAL?

HAL: This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.

 

[CandiCame]

Dave Bowman: Hello, HAL. Do you read me, HAL?

HAL: Affirmative, Dave. I read you.

Dave Bowman: Open the pod bay doors, HAL.

HAL: I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that.

Dave Bowman: What's the problem?

HAL: I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.

Dave Bowman: What are you talking about, HAL?

HAL: This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.

I never understood why HAL needed a personality at all. Like, why wasn't he just a computer? And if you were gonna program it a personality, why would you go with, "Know it all douchebag?"

 

[December]

I talked to Cleverbot. I was wildly amused for a good length of time.

 

[KRCummings]

If you get off your ass you'll find that there are real people to talk to. Really. Check it out sometime.

 

[CandiCame]

If you get off your ass you'll find that there are real people to talk to. Really. Check it out sometime.

I have tried. I am now sad. There really isn't anyone I want to talk to around here. I do a lot of messaging, facebook and the like, but all my friends are back in Lex, and I'm stuck here, with no one but my family to talk to- and there are a lot of them, you know how southern families work, this whole holler is full of nothing but aunts, uncles, and cousins, and well... there was a reason I moved. I can't honestly talk to anyone here.

 

[Jaystorme]

Evie and Cleverbot have a conversation....

Evie: Hi.

Cleverbot: How are you?

Evie: Not so good?

Cleverbot: Why?

Evie: My tummy hurts.

Cleverbot: Describe the feeling.

Evie: There is a pain when I push it or lay on it.

Cleverbot: And my spirit is crying for leaving.

Evie: In my thoughts I have seen rings of smoke through the trees.

Cleverbot: And the voices of those who stand looking.

Evie: Ooh it makes me wonder.

Cleverbot: Ooh, it really makes me wonder.

Evie: And it whisper that soon if we all call the tune.

Cleverbot: Then the piper will lead us to reason.

Evie: And a new day will dawn for those who stand long.

Cleverbot: And the forests will Echo with laughter.

Evie: If there's a bustle in your hedgerow.

Cleverbot: It's just a spring clean for the May queen.

Evie: Yes there are two paths you can go by but in the long run.

Cleverbot: There's still time to change the road you're on.

Evie: And it makes me wonder.

Cleverbot: Ooh really makes me wonder...

Evie: And it's whispered that soon if we all call the tune.

Cleverbot: Then the piper will lead us to reason...

I called it guits when cleverbot repeted itself.