I just can't do it...

[Ranilin]

I've been masturbating since I was about 12 or 13, and back then it didn't take much to get off. But eventually, the same thing just didn't produce the same effect, and I had to squeeze harder, use lubricant, saliva, etc to do it..

But well, I was reading the posts, and saw Mr.G's replies and wonder if it isn't true. My girlfriend and I had sex for the first time 4 nights ago (I lost my virginity then, she lost hers long ago), but even though I can make her cum, no matter how hard we try, I can't have my own orgasm. The feelings are GREAT, sure, but it's like it's not enough or something. In the last four days, we've tried many different ways, positions, and such, and I've only managed to cum one time.. And that was while I was masturbating at the same time she was giving me oral! I can't cum without my own help, and it's driving us nuts. She's starting to feel inadequate, and I don't believe it's her at all. Should I see a doctor, or maybe a shrink like Wordslinger spoke of in response to for_fun1's post? Or perhaps someone has a new idea of what we can try?

I really want to make my darling happy, but though I can drive her crazy, it depresses her that she can't do the same to me.

 

[Morden]

<chuckles>
I am sure there is more then one man who would like to have that problem.

The biggest thing is be honest with you girlfriend on what makes you feel good. Try 69ing with her if you haven't. The whole thing may stem from your need to be doing something. I know if I am not all over my woman I find it very hard to cum. I all most never cum from straight blowjobs unless I am doing something to her. Try playing with her breasts instead of your cock. See how that works.

 

[Guest]

hey Ranilin,

The reason why you might be having that problem is because when you masturbate a lot more pressure compared to what you experience during a blow job or while having sex. So you are used to this pressure and now when you are having sex, you are finding that the stimulation is not adequate. Here are some things you can do: Try to build up the sexual tension long before you actually get naked (teasing, gestures anything that makes your girl want to get in the sack with you; since you have a girl now, there is no dire need for masturbation-this way your penis can "relearn"; lastly, don't get worked up-it's only been a few days and when you two get more and more comfortable, you will be more relaxed and thoroughly enjoy it.

 

[Young Knave]

Could you be gay?

Perhaps girls aren't your thing. Better try some alternate sexual possibilities and see if things improve.

 

[MidwestParadox]

Had the same problem. I thought there was something wrong with me. I put even more pressure on myself and of course that didn't make things any better. I finally overcame (no pun intended) my problem by relaxing, engaging in forplay, as was suggested, and don't realize that sex doesn't always mean orgasm.
If you used porn to help get the whole thing going, rent a movie, ask her to masturbate for you, (If you do this, make sure you keep reminding her how much this all turns you on.) don't hesitate to bring some lube. Also, have her watch you. Better yet, do it together. Mutual Masterbation can be a real turn on as well as a learning experience for both of you. It sounds like she really wants to be with you so I'm sure she will be open to suggestions.

But most of all remember this, not every guy fits that old ready, willing and able stereo type. In my 10 or 15 years of fucking around before I settled in to marriage, I had partners easy to impossible to bring to an orgasm. Why should men be any different.

 

[rambling man]

Ask yourself this question, do you put a lot of pressure on yourself? Did you at first put a lot of pressure on yourself to get her to orgasm? The pressure you place on yourself may be keeping you from getting yourself off. Next time, don't try to do mind games on yourself or pressure yourself to cum or not cum at any given point. Just relax, think of how beautiful she is, how warm and wet her pussy is, how much you enjoy her body. Let your desire for her take over from your anxiety. Just fuck her with natural enjoyment and don't worry about anything else. You will find that the less pressure you put on yourself the better everything is.