I have the swine flu

[Primalex]

Everytime I mention that I'm married but don't mind to do other (good looking, I'm picky) girls and that my wife doesn't mind, she wants that I'm pleased, the girl suddenly goes *poof*.

It must be the swine flu, right? Why else would it be a problem to TALK with me?

 

[Sayyid]

I think you have a rare disease known in medical circles as "marriage."

 

[Bi_Kitty]

Speaking from my experience only.

Because most time guys who are married and looking online for whatever are just trying to sneak around, and I don't want to be caught up in that when it comes crashing down. Because they will get caught, it is just a matter of time. If someone told me that "I'm married but my wife don't mind," I would think that as a bunch of horsecrap unless I was to talk to the wife.

Like I said, that's just the way I take it from past experience.

 

[nh23]

I dated a married man once for two years. It was the most heartbreaking two years of my life. I'd not do it again, ever.

 

[rida]

I just had the same conversation with the Sadist the other night as he is running into the same problem.

My personal take is that if the women are single and looking for marriage, they know that they do not have a chance hence they go poof. If you were to say that you were unhappily married and not getting your needs met and blah blah they will instead feel like "saving" you from your unhappiness by making you divorce the wife and marry them instead. But since you put is as your wife knows and does not mind, it makes it clear that you are not going to divorce.

If the woman is unhappily married then it goes back to the above scenario, where you both "save" each other from unhappiness.

For all the other women, I think that too many have had bad experiences with married men getting caught/disappearing suddenly/too much drama and so on, and as such do not trust married men in general.

Me, personally, I've been lucky and actually prefer married men. I'm not as adamant with the requirement of the wife knowing, as much as with the fact that I want them to be happily married. Of course, the wife knowing and being OK is a much better scenario, and a must in the case of something more than a casual occasional play.

 

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

You men just wanna have fun, but we girls always fall in love while your "fun", so thats why the girls "poofed" when you said your married, me thinks. lol

 

[Homburg]

It's hard for women in similar situations. A female friend of mine and her boyfriend are looking for a girl to add to their bed. She's looking harder than she is, as she's bi, and wants some pussy. She was complaining the other night that she says she and her boyfriend are looking, and she's cool with him being with other women, etc, and the girls just vanish.

She has the swine flu though, so your mileage may vary.

 

[Primalex]

My personal take is that if the women are single and looking for marriage, they know that they do not have a chance hence they go poof.

Yeah, I understand this. But when they start with "Hey, I want to learn all about BDSM" and then go poof - I don't get it. Should I assume they were actually lieing? But there can't be that many women out there who want to marry me....can there?

For all the other women, I think that too many have had bad experiences with married men getting caught/disappearing suddenly/too much drama and so on, and as such do not trust married men in general.

Yeah, although somehow it's weird. When you are married, it means, someone is out there who trusts you, who knows you in real life, who is able to have a relationship etc. - and all this makes you less trustworthy than a single guy who might be a serial killer.

Me, personally, I've been lucky and actually prefer married men.

What was your phone number?

 

[Primalex]

You men just wanna have fun, but we girls always fall in love while your "fun", so thats why the girls "poofed" when you said your married, me thinks. lol

And it's so stupid - as if the marital status would determine whether I fall in love or not. Do they want a guy who just falls in love with them because he didn't find someone else?

I mean, when a guy says "I love you", then it can mean a lot of things:
- I love our regular sex and that I have a pussy around.
- I love to have someone else for the chores.
- I love to have a trophy on the passenger seat.
...

But you can rule most of them out if a married guy says it.

 

[graceanne]

Not everyone is cut out to share. Even if they believe you (a lot won't), and they're looking for a steady relationship (most are), a lot won't be willing to share. If they realize this, then they're just saving you a lot of time, energy, and drama.

 

[HarlotMinx]

Ironically you might get more people staying if you were MORE married. Forget having one wife, say you have three that are okay with sharing you. I don't know, personally I can't think of a time I wasn't open. I just have trouble settling my attention on one person so completely as to ignore all others. I can be attracted to and love more than one person at a time, it hardly diminishes my love for any one of them or makes my love any less than someone who's monogamous it's just that I get intimate and start relationships with people for aspects of their personality, each relationship is different and I share with them differently based on how we interact. No individual or relationship is better or worse (unless it is for some other reason) they just are wholly different relationships. *shrugs* I'm also a strong believer of honesty and make a point of making partners aware of the others even if they may not meet.

 

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

as if the marital status would determine whether I fall in love or not.

It maybe doesn't, but it SHOULD!! For me anyways.

Do they want a guy who just falls in love with them because he didn't find someone else?

No I don't think so. I think they just want a guy who will love them for all they are and the way they are. Not because he didn't find someone else nor because he's a greedy perv for whom one woman is NOT enough!

And I am not saying that want more than one partner is wrong okay! I am just saying most woman won't share you. Just BECAUSE! I am one of them. I never share. If I had to share my man I'd feel like I am not good enough for him, like I am not able to fulfill all his needs, satisfy him and keep him happy. And in my eyes, if this happens, then I am NOT the right partner for him. If he needs someone else except me, then he can go, because I cannot ever imagine being with someone who would tell me "I love you" and still wanted more than I am able to provide. More women, more sex, more anything. You know what I mean???

I would feel like a total failer if my man ever needed someone else except me. If he needed more than I can give to him. I coudn't take that! I like to think I CAN be someones everything. So yes I don't share. I was born that way.


I will probably piss off lots of poly people on Lit with this post, but this is just "MY" own opinion okay! Nobody says you gotta agree with it.




When we talk about you wanting more woman, may I ask you WHY you need more? You say you got a wife, so why you need someone else??? You need more sex? You bored? You want someone "different"? Or WHY? I dont get it, really. And yes I got this problem with all poly people. Someone tell me WHY you need more than one person? Becuase I seriously don't get it. And I am asking nicely okay, so be nice as well! I am not trying to offend anyone here, I am really just curious WHAT makes you look for more than you have. You need more sex or? Just fuck more?!!! No need to find another woman! I don't know... Someone explain this to me please.

Thank you.

 

[BiBunny]

It's not your opinion that "pisses the poly people off," but the way you choose to express it.

 

[Homburg]

Not this shit again...

 

[subish2009]

It maybe doesn't, but it SHOULD!! For me anyways.

No I don't think so. I think they just want a guy who will love them for all they are and the way they are. Not because he didn't find someone else nor because he's a greedy perv for whom one woman is NOT enough!

And I am not saying that want more than one partner is wrong okay! I am just saying most woman won't share you. Just BECAUSE! I am one of them. I never share. If I had to share my man I'd feel like I am not good enough for him, like I am not able to fulfill all his needs, satisfy him and keep him happy. And in my eyes, if this happens, then I am NOT the right partner for him. If he needs someone else except me, then he can go, because I cannot ever imagine being with someone who would tell me "I love you" and still wanted more than I am able to provide. More women, more sex, more anything. You know what I mean???

I would feel like a total failer if my man ever needed someone else except me. If he needed more than I can give to him. I coudn't take that! I like to think I CAN be someones everything. So yes I don't share. I was born that way.


I will probably piss off lots of poly people on Lit with this post, but this is just "MY" own opinion okay! Nobody says you gotta agree with it.




When we talk about you wanting more woman, may I ask you WHY you need more? You say you got a wife, so why you need someone else??? You need more sex? You bored? You want someone "different"? Or WHY? I dont get it, really. And yes I got this problem with all poly people. Someone tell me WHY you need more than one person? Becuase I seriously don't get it. And I am asking nicely okay, so be nice as well! I am not trying to offend anyone here, I am really just curious WHAT makes you look for more than you have. You need more sex or? Just fuck more?!!! No need to find another woman! I don't know... Someone explain this to me please.

Thank you.

I don't want to put words in anyone else's mouth, but from my point-of-view alone, it's kind of like why you have more than one friend. I believe in soulmates, but not that there's only one soulmate out there for each of us. If you can love someone else without it diminishing the love you have for your spouse, why not add more love to your life? Obviously assuming that all parties are on board with the idea. For me, it wouldn't be about wanting someone different and certainly not just about needing more sex. Some people are capable of loving more than one person at a time and some are not. You don't have to justify why you choose to love only one, so why should poly people have to justify why they love more than one?

 

[BiBunny]

Not this shit again...

Srsly.

The poly people don't go in the threads where the mono people are waxing romantic about their one and only and show their asses. It'd be fan-fucking-tastic if we could be extended the same courtesy.

 

[Primalex]

I will probably piss off lots of poly people on Lit with this post, but this is just "MY" own opinion okay! Nobody says you gotta agree with it.

I'm not pissed off and I don't argue much about opinions. Hell, if I would do this, I wouldn't have time for anything else.

When we talk about you wanting more woman, may I ask you WHY you need more?

"Need" is already a bad word. I need other women as I "need" fries to my burger. I don't mind to be just with one woman. I even don't mind to have no sex for weeks.

I just like women. I like to get to known them. I like to see them nude. I like to fuck them. I like when they submit. I like to control them. These feelings don't fall silent just because I'm married or love someone.

For example, there is a book I love. Don't ask me how often I've read it, I don't know. (My wife is different, she can only read a book once. She doesn't see the purpose of reading a book a second time.). Although I think it's the best book out there and nobody will ever again get close to it, I still enjoy reading other books. It doesn't lower the value of the book in my mind and heart when I read other books. Why should I limit myself to one book, if the book and the other books don't mind?

And yes I got this problem with all poly people.

Of course I can't talk for anyone else except me. Just a reminder.

 

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

It's not your opinion that "pisses the poly people off," but the way you choose to express it.

Hey I said how I would feel about these things. And I seriously don't think what I said is that bad as you make it sound now! For a while a thought you might tell me how you feel and why you choosed the sharing and being with more than one partner, but guess you won't eh? Oh well.

 

[BiBunny]

Hey I said how I would feel about these things. And I seriously don't think what I said is that bad as you make it sound now! For a while a thought you might tell me how you feel and why you choosed the sharing and being with more than one partner, but guess you won't eh? Oh well.

A.) That's not what Primalex's thread is about, and I'd prefer to wait until at least the second page before hijacking it completely. If you're genuinely interested in these things, maybe start a new thread about it without the disapproving tone your earlier post had in it.

B.) We've kind of been over it over and over. We know you dislike poly, and there's not much sense in rehashing the same old thing.

 

[Primalex]

A.) That's not what Primalex's thread is about, and I'd prefer to wait until at least the second page before hijacking it completely.

Of course I'm quite capable of taking care of my own threads myself.

 

[BiBunny]

Of course I'm quite capable of taking care of my own threads myself.

Of course. But I do have some standards, y'know?

 

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

I'm not pissed off and I don't argue much about opinions. Hell, if I would do this, I wouldn't have time for anything else.

Thank you and same here!! Don't have time for arguing + not in the mood for it either. lol

What I said didn't mean to be offending and it wasn't!! I just said how poly relationships makes me feel. Not my fault someone doesn't like how it makes me feel. I was replying your post and asked a question. Thank you you took the time and replied to me the way you have! Thats what I was looking for!!!!!

No shit talk about waxing romantic and showing asses needed really, but nvm I am used to it! lol



Off to bed I am dog tired. You have a nice evening, Primalex, and hope you find your girl ASAP!! *hugs*

And once more thanks for the explanation!

 

[ecstaticsub]

Everytime I mention that I'm married but don't mind to do other (good looking, I'm picky) girls and that my wife doesn't mind, she wants that I'm pleased, the girl suddenly goes *poof*.

It must be the swine flu, right? Why else would it be a problem to TALK with me?

You may have better luck on wifesharing sites. Though the majority of the women on them are over 30. The women are used to being with married men and are usually married also. Some want their husbands along too, but not all. I met my PYL on a wifesharing site.

 

[Primalex]

You may have better luck on wifesharing sites. Though the majority of the women on them are over 30. The women are used to being with married men and are usually married also. Some want their husbands along too, but not all. I met my PYL on a wifesharing site.

Thank you for the hint, but that's not my thing.

 

[ecstaticsub]

Thank you for the hint, but that's not my thing.

So you are limiting your search to single women?