I have some questions

[mgcraze]

Hello,
I am a college student writing a paper on how love comes in all different forms. I'm interested is writing my paper on BDSM because it show how even though it is rough and can be a hurtful physical relationship that you can still be in love and have a working relationship. So I am hoping to talk to a Dom and sub and ask a few questions.*
A few ex.)*
Dom:
Do you feel love for your sub?
Do you feel as if this should be legal to do in public?
How do you treat your sub?
Have you ever hospitalized a sub?
Do you allow a safe word?

Sub:
Do you believe that you are loved?
Have you ever been hospitalized?*
Have you ever had a time where you have had real fear of your Dom?
Is there a safe word? If so does he/she stop when the safe word is used?
Thank you

 

[midwestyankee]

This, I believe, is the final piece of evidence that our colleges are on the downward slope of a curve that ends in green slime and gluten-free pizza.

 

[Netzach]

I think you're working on the assumption that the majority of BDSM relationships differ from abusive relationships only marginally and only conceptually. Some do, but the vast majority do not. They're like everyone else you know only with harder nipple pinching.

 

[Netzach]

gluten-free pizza.

Hey, most of us never go looking for this.

 

[Netzach]

Dom:
Do you feel love for your sub?
Do you feel as if this should be legal to do in public?
How do you treat your sub?
Have you ever hospitalized a sub?
Do you allow a safe word?

For the record

1.some of them
2. whether it's legal or illegal it's still asinine to have your psychodrama in the open in public.
3. frequently, usually to a cold beer, sometimes to ice cream.
4. fuck no. When I'm being all badass, I tell people I promise not to do things which will put them into the hospital or the nut hatch and the rest is up to me.
5. Yes. It's "vermillion" because we're artistic chez moi.

 

[CutieMouse]

Have you ever been hospitalized?*

 

[Netzach]

I know. It's great to write about that which you have absolutely no direct or even secondary knowledge of.

 

[6PERV]

Hello,
I am a college student writing a paper on how love comes in all different forms. I'm interested is writing my paper on BDSM because it show how even though it is rough and can be a hurtful physical relationship that you can still be in love and have a working relationship. So I am hoping to talk to a Dom and sub and ask a few questions.*
A few ex.)*
Dom:
Do you feel love for your sub?
Do you feel as if this should be legal to do in public?
How do you treat your sub?
Have you ever hospitalized a sub?
Do you allow a safe word?

Sub:
Do you believe that you are loved?
Have you ever been hospitalized?*
Have you ever had a time where you have had real fear of your Dom?
Is there a safe word? If so does he/she stop when the safe word is used?
Thank you

I think you have a strange opinion of the BDSM lifestyle if you use the above bold word. I think the more appropriate word to use would be painful. Of course, when you ask questions such as "have you ever put a sub in the hospital?" or "have you ever been in the hospital?" you reveal a lot about your lack of understanding of BDSM. But, what really shows your total misunderstanding of BDSM is when you ask "do you allow a safe word?" and "does he stop when you use the safe word?"

You don't have a clue about BDSM and I envision a paper lacking any real love. If you knew anything at all about this subject, you wouldn't need to ask these questions. You'd already know the answers. You should find a different subject to write about. You'll just make a fool of yourself with this one.

 

[CutieMouse]

I know. It's great to write about that which you have absolutely no direct or even secondary knowledge of.

Yeah.


Should "it" be legal in public? I wasn't aware that holding hands with my partner / a quick peck on the cheek was illegal. As far as I know, cleaning his house isn't a federal offense, either.

My last hospitalization was 18 years ago; I was giving birth. The next most recent occurred at age 4 - tonsillectomy.

Like I said...

 

[Ellafun]

It seems possible to me that the OP is using the same wikipedia article that addressed BDSM as the author of the first book I have ever burned in my life.....

 

[Scentofawoman]

I think you're working on the assumption that the majority of BDSM relationships differ from abusive relationships only marginally and only conceptually. Some do, but the vast majority do not. They're like everyone else you know only with harder nipple pinching.

Hey, most of us never go looking for this.

Dom:


For the record

1.some of them
2. whether it's legal or illegal it's still asinine to have your psychodrama in the open in public.
3. frequently, usually to a cold beer, sometimes to ice cream.
4. fuck no. When I'm being all badass, I tell people I promise not to do things which will put them into the hospital or the nut hatch and the rest is up to me.
5. Yes. It's "vermillion" because we're artistic chez moi.

I had to quote you because you hit the nail on the head. I am still laughing!


Add this to the BDSM mainstream thread. 50 Shades is now college required reading.

 

[Ropebunny]

:
Do you believe that you are loved?
Have you ever been hospitalized?*
Have you ever had a time where you have had real fear of your Dom?
Is there a safe word? If so does he/she stop when the safe word is used?

I know I am loved. I'd feel like a plonker if stayed with someone for 6 years and had a child with them but thought they didn't love me.

I have been hospitalised. I suicide attempt at 15, a kidney infection later the same year and the birth of my son when I was 17. None BDSM related though.

Yes. Once after we had a fight he took some clothes and said he was leaving. He got in the car and drove off. For about 10 minutes I really believed him. Then he came back and apologised for scaring me

There is but I don't remember it. We made it up once when we were trying something new and we weren't sure how I was going to react. It went fine so I didn't need to use it. If we do something else that requires a safeword we'll some up with a new one but for most play, a simple 'stop' suffices.

Look, people that are into BDSM are for the most part normal people, just like everyone else. All the problems that can happen in vanilla relationships can happen in kinky relationships too. I take exception to the phrase 'hurtful physical relationship'. It sounds like a nicer version of physical abuse, which is not what BDSM is. I agree with the other posters that have said you should write about something else. You're going to look more than a little bit stupid if whoever marks your paper is into kink

 

[Stella_Omega]

I'm really glad that you've decided to write this paper, personally. And I know how difficult it can be to frame your questions when you're just getting ahold of a subject.

But I would like to ask you;

Do you feel as if this should be legal to do in public?

What, exactly, do you feel "this" is?

 

[HottieMama]

I am a switch and have been in relationships as both the Dom and the sub but since I am the submissive in my current relationship, I figured I would answer those questions.

Sub:

Do you believe that you are loved?

Yes, loved, treasured, and respected.

Have you ever been hospitalized?*

Not for a BDSM related injury...

Have you ever had a time where you have had real fear of your Dom?

Nope.

Is there a safe word? If so does he/she stop when the safe word is used?

Yes. I have not had to use my safeword with her at any point.

 

[midwestyankee]

Hey, most of us never go looking for this.

No kidding.

Yeah.


Should "it" be legal in public? I wasn't aware that holding hands with my partner / a quick peck on the cheek was illegal. As far as I know, cleaning his house isn't a federal offense, either.

My last hospitalization was 18 years ago; I was giving birth. The next most recent occurred at age 4 - tonsillectomy.

Like I said...

Be careful what you think: you never know what Rick Perry might do to continue currying favor with his base.

 

[SweetTink]

Someone asked if I read the Shades of Grey books since I was involved in a D/s relationship. I have stayed away from them because when they first became popular, I worried that people were going to think that ALL BDSM relationships were the same and like the one in the book. *Sigh*

Sub:
Do you believe that you are loved?
Have you ever been hospitalized?*
Have you ever had a time where you have had real fear of your Dom?
Is there a safe word? If so does he/she stop when the safe word is used?
Thank you

I know that I am loved, because he and I are in a relationship. When you break it down, it's a relationship built on trust and love with some fun and kinky aspects thrown in. I personally take offense to the question "Have you ever been hospitalized?" because it implies that he has abused me simply because we're in a "BDSM" relationship. That's false. I've had injuries, like the other posters above, but none were BDSM related. Also, if he/she doesn't stop when the safe word is used, then I would not be in a relationship with them--same for many people who are in BDSM relationships. My relationship is healthy and strong. I would not stay with a man who abused me.

If you want to write a paper on BDSM, then write it. But don't try to use our lives and twist our words to make your "idea" of what BDSM is correct.

 

[subwannabe]

My best advice is to choose another subject. You really don't seem to have a clue what BDSM is. Of course you would theoretically do research before writing your paper but it seems like you have A LOT of research to do in order to write a good paper. Right now I don't see it coming out well. I get the impression you are a college student who is more concerned with expressing your freedom to write whatever you want rather than having the interest to actually write something that is good.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

.... I get the impression you are a college student who is more concerned with expressing your freedom to write whatever you want rather than having the interest to actually write something that is good.

Colleges want students to write something that is *good?* OMG! When did that happen?

 

[Lord_Steve]

Dom:
1. Do you feel love for your sub?
2. Do you feel as if this should be legal to do in public?
3. How do you treat your sub?
4. Have you ever hospitalized a sub?
5. Do you allow a safe word?

1. "Love" is a bourgeois construct devised to strip individuals of their anarchic Personhood

2. "In public" is a bourgeois concept intended to create a false dichotomy between the community and the self. But there is little I would not do naked under the godless sky

3. With her bones I frame my house and her skin I wear around myself as sacred vestments to consecrate the gathering dark

4. haha why would you even think this

5. yeah it's "no, i don't"