I Have Finally Found “The Stuffed Owl!”

[Quasimodem]

"The Stuffed Owl" is a notorious anthology of well-known (and well-respected) poets having an exceedingly bad day.


For example:


from “The Wind In A Rage”

The bed-ridden man sprang up, and cried,
And reached the door, but there he died;
And his sickly daughter, with frenzied pains,
Dragged from the fire his old remains.

William Howett


from “The Idiot Boy”

This piteous news so much shocked her,
She quite forgot to send the Doctor.

Wordsworth


Or,


The two divinest things that man has got,
A lovely woman in a rural spot.


Leigh Hunt


(Parodied thus by Patmore)

The two divinest things this world can grab,
A handsome woman in a hansom cab.

 

[pop_54]

Hehe!!

Definitely a bad poetry day Quasi.

I should be in that though with some of mine I think, just can't seem to get it some days.

She stood on the bridge at midnight.
Her body all a quiver.
She gave a cough.
Her left tit dropped off.
And floated down the river.

There was a young lady from Madrass.
Who had a magnificent Ass.
Not round and pink as you dirty buggers think.
But was Grey, had long ears, and ate grass.

pops............

 

[cahab]

"The Stuffed Owl" is a notorious anthology of well-known (and well-respected) poets having an exceedingly bad day.

I liked the one, and i hope I'm not misquoting here:

I've measured it from side to side,
'Tis three feet long and two feet wide.

Wordsworth, I think?

Gives us all hope.

 

[Guest]

Re: Hehe!!

Definitely a bad poetry day Quasi.

I should be in that though with some of mine I think, just can't seem to get it some days.

She stood on the bridge at midnight.
Her body all a quiver.
She gave a cough.
Her left tit dropped off.
And floated down the river.

Pops, you've inspired me...

There was an old man from Cosham,
Who took out his false teeth to wash 'em
His wife said, "Jack,
If you don't put 'em back,
I'll put 'em in the mangle and squash 'em"

Lou

 

[Guest]

The Dirt on Lady Byron

J. Gordon Coogler (1865 - 1901), "Poems Written While You Wait" was the sign in this prollific author's print shop in Charleston, SC. He wrote much about "the gentler sex and their temptations", obviously in double standard. I like the 'punchline' of this one.

Byron (second of two verses)

Thou immortal Byron!
They inspired genius
Let no man attempt to smother--
May all that was good within thee
Be attributed to Heaven,
All that was evil--to thy mother.


from Very Bad Poetry, ed. K. & R. Petras, Vintage Books, 1997.

 

[oggbashan]

The Stuffed Owl is THE book to own. You'll never feel inadequate again.

Unlike parodies or deliberate mistakes the works quoted are by serious authors on an off day. Even Homer can nod, and if you read "The Stuffed Owl" you will find that the best of us can write absolute rubbish.

Of course some of us can write rubbish all day long.

Og

PS No, I haven't got a copy in my shop. Try abebooks.com

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Re: Hehe!!

There was a young lady from Madrass.
Who had a magnificent Ass.
Not round and pink as you dirty buggers think.
But was Grey, had long ears, and ate grass.

*holding up a card reading 9.4*

 

[pop_54]

Re: Re: Hehe!!

Pops, you've inspired me...

There was an old man from Cosham,
Who took out his false teeth to wash 'em
His wife said, "Jack,
If you don't put 'em back,
I'll put 'em in the mangle and squash 'em"

Lou

Hehe!! I see you chose to post the cleaner version of the man from Cosham dear.

There was a young priest from Australia.
Who painted his arse like a dhalia.
At two pence a smell, he did quite well.
But three pence a lick was a failure.