I have a real question

[arashi]

Hello there, I have a question that I was hoping maybe someone here could answer for me. I've been a slave for my Mistress for two months now, I am however, married. Now, my husband doesn't really get a vote in the matter since I have been his Dom for years now.
My Mistress requires me to write erotica for her which I love doing since it pleases her. My question is I have been getting a lot of flack because in my story the situation is the same as in reality. I only sub for my Mistress and by her request, I continue to Domme my husband and anyone else she will let me since we swing and bring other people in when ever possible. Okay the question is I was told that I can't be a "real" Dom if I have a Mistress. Now, in my book, that is a load of shit. I think the commentators are a bit jealous because what we have going on works. I guess I am just looking for some affirmation, to clam irritation the anonymous feedback givers have stirred up.

 

[RJMasters]

Hello there, I have a question that I was hoping maybe someone here could answer for me. I've been a slave for my Mistress for two months now, I am however, married. Now, my husband doesn't really get a vote in the matter since I have been his Dom for years now.
My Mistress requires me to write erotica for her which I love doing since it pleases her. My question is I have been getting a lot of flack because in my story the situation is the same as in reality. I only sub for my Mistress and by her request, I continue to Domme my husband and anyone else she will let me since we swing and bring other people in when ever possible. Okay the question is I was told that I can't be a "real" Dom if I have a Mistress. Now, in my book, that is a load of shit. I think the commentators are a bit jealous because what we have going on works. I guess I am just looking for some affirmation, to clam irritation the anonymous feedback givers have stirred up.

Your looking for affirmation that you are infact a Dom?

 

[CutieMouse]

You are who you are, working in a situation which works for the parties involved... so you don't fit the black and white definition of a D/s relationship, (or a traditional relationship, for that matter), as identified by a bunch of strangers... it might be annoying to feel unaccepted, but the people in your little universe are apparently happy, so it's a problem why exactly?

 

[amadaun]

Okay the question is I was told that I can't be a "real" Dom if I have a Mistress. Now, in my book, that is a load of shit. I think the commentators are a bit jealous because what we have going on works. I guess I am just looking for some affirmation, to clam irritation the anonymous feedback givers have stirred up.

Yeah, well. People are douches, and exclusionary ones at that. I'm not sure what buys you a membership card in the club of "OMFG REEEEEAL dom/mes" (as opposed to all those fake dom/mes who go around dominating poor helpless subs without a license or any recognized credentials), but I'm pretty sure it involves at least a partial lobotomy.

 

[blklthrjkt]

You are who you are, and yes, that thing about "domme rules" is a load of shit.

 

[FurryFury]

Good advice on this thread already.

No one can make rules for YOU unless YOU let them.

Fury

 

[Chicklet]

and if a guy likes anal sex, it makes him gay. and condoms can be turned inside out and re-used. and every time you masturbate, a kitten dies. and if you're assertive, you're not a real submissive. and every republican strongly believes everything bush says. and chocolate will make you skinny.

 

[RJMasters]

and if a guy likes anal sex, it makes him gay. and condoms can be turned inside out and re-used. and every time you masturbate, a kitten dies. and if you're assertive, you're not a real submissive. and every republican strongly believes everything bush says. and chocolate will make you skinny.

I don't know about the rest but chocolate does make you skinny.

 

[JMohegan]

Hello there, I have a question that I was hoping maybe someone here could answer for me. I've been a slave for my Mistress for two months now, I am however, married. Now, my husband doesn't really get a vote in the matter since I have been his Dom for years now.
My Mistress requires me to write erotica for her which I love doing since it pleases her. My question is I have been getting a lot of flack because in my story the situation is the same as in reality. I only sub for my Mistress and by her request, I continue to Domme my husband and anyone else she will let me since we swing and bring other people in when ever possible. Okay the question is I was told that I can't be a "real" Dom if I have a Mistress. Now, in my book, that is a load of shit. I think the commentators are a bit jealous because what we have going on works. I guess I am just looking for some affirmation, to clam irritation the anonymous feedback givers have stirred up.

My personal definition of a Switch is someone who alternates between the roles of Dom and sub and is aroused/satisfied/happy in both.

Given the limited information that you've presented here and my personal definition, I'd say that you are a Switch.

However, I'd like to point out three things.

1 - I am not the BDSM dictionary.

2 - I am only making this observation because you asked. That is to say, I am not in the habit of offering unprompted commentary on the sex lives of other people. It's none of my business, and I really don't care.

3 - I am not a guy who believes that being a Dominant makes one a higher order of human being. I have enormous respect for some Dominants and for others little or none. Character is the measure of a man in my book, not his sexual preferences or roles.

 

[Chicklet]

I don't know about the rest but chocolate does make you skinny.

maybe if you're running from a sadistic dom who wants to beat you with a huge bar of chocolate?

 

[RJMasters]

maybe if you're running from a sadistic dom who wants to beat you with a huge bar of chocolate?

Was thinking more like hershy kisses, and nerf gun and some dodge ball action...grinz

 

[Toa_lin]

Was thinking more like hershy kisses, and nerf gun and some dodge ball action...grinz

Nah, then u just grab the nearest person, and use them as a sheild, and pick up all the pieces of chocolate that fall on the ground, unwrap them, and eat them... And you get fat that way. soo much for skinny...

UNLESS they're struggling, in which case you have to hold em put, and *whew* what a workout

 

[Betticus]

Hello there, I have a question that I was hoping maybe someone here could answer for me. I've been a slave for my Mistress for two months now, I am however, married. Now, my husband doesn't really get a vote in the matter since I have been his Dom for years now.
My Mistress requires me to write erotica for her which I love doing since it pleases her. My question is I have been getting a lot of flack because in my story the situation is the same as in reality. I only sub for my Mistress and by her request, I continue to Domme my husband and anyone else she will let me since we swing and bring other people in when ever possible. Okay the question is I was told that I can't be a "real" Dom if I have a Mistress. Now, in my book, that is a load of shit. I think the commentators are a bit jealous because what we have going on works. I guess I am just looking for some affirmation, to clam irritation the anonymous feedback givers have stirred up.

No one across the entirety of bdsm sets the rules for anything that has anything to do with anyone. Except the pretty much universally accepted safe, sane, consensual rule. So, if anyone passes any kind of judgement upon you it's more likely that they are not very deeply rooted in reality. Just ignore them.

 

[Toa_lin]

No one across the entirety of bdsm sets the rules for anything that has anything to do with anyone. Except the pretty much universally accepted safe, sane, consensual rule. So, if anyone passes any kind of judgement upon you it's more likely that they are not very deeply rooted in reality. Just ignore them.

Normally I seem to liek to playfully argue, but this time I must fully agree with Betticus

 

[lil_slave_rose]

No one across the entirety of bdsm sets the rules for anything that has anything to do with anyone. Except the pretty much universally accepted safe, sane, consensual rule. So, if anyone passes any kind of judgement upon you it's more likely that they are not very deeply rooted in reality. Just ignore them.

*faints* wow..i just saw Betticus be serious! i agree completely! *runs onto another thread quickly before Betticus can grab a hold of me*

 

[Betticus]

*faints* wow..i just saw Betticus be serious! i agree completely! *runs onto another thread quickly before Betticus can grab a hold of me*

Darnit, I can be serious once in a while.

 

[Kajira Callista]

Darnit, I can be serious once in a while.

*grabs a washcloth and cleans off betticus seriousness*


ahhh much better

 

[SECRETDOM]

Hello there, I have a question that I was hoping maybe someone here could answer for me. I've been a slave for my Mistress for two months now, I am however, married. Now, my husband doesn't really get a vote in the matter since I have been his Dom for years now.
My Mistress requires me to write erotica for her which I love doing since it pleases her. My question is I have been getting a lot of flack because in my story the situation is the same as in reality. I only sub for my Mistress and by her request, I continue to Domme my husband and anyone else she will let me since we swing and bring other people in when ever possible. Okay the question is I was told that I can't be a "real" Dom if I have a Mistress. Now, in my book, that is a load of shit. I think the commentators are a bit jealous because what we have going on works. I guess I am just looking for some affirmation, to clam irritation the anonymous feedback givers have stirred up.

Your sexuality is yours and that of your partners. How you define power exchanges is up to you and it is no one else's place to tell you what a "real" Dom is. Be you, find your space and explore it, tell the naysayers to fuck off and let it go at that.

 

[Betticus]

*grabs a washcloth and cleans off betticus seriousness*


ahhh much better

You missed a spot darling...

 

[Kajira Callista]

You missed a spot darling...

KC never misses a spot.

 

[Betticus]

KC never misses a spot.

I'll be the judge of that!

 

[Kajira Callista]

I'll be the judge of that!

ok.

 

[JMohegan]

Except the pretty much universally accepted safe, sane, consensual rule.

Lifting my glass to slave david stein, but at the same time noting the following.

Of all the words I've heard discussed in the BDSM world in the last 20 years, not one has been more frequently debated than *each* of the following three.

Safe

Sane

Consensual

People throw these words around all the time, but I've never met two who could agree on what they mean.

Put them all together, and you've got what I consider to be a real question, but one that is practically unanswerable.

Where is the line between SSC and abuse? Sometimes it is almost impossible to say.

RACK aside, I would agree that the majority of modern BDSM practitioners embrace a concept that they refer to as SSC. But there is no more uniformity to the meaning of this concept than there is to the question of what it means to be a Dom.

I don't see universal anything in BDSM, and in the ideal of SSC least of all.

 

[Betticus]

Where is the line between SSC and abuse? Sometimes it is almost impossible to say.

RACK aside, I would agree that the majority of modern BDSM practitioners embrace a concept that they refer to as SSC. But there is no more uniformity to the meaning of this concept than there is to the question of what it means to be a Dom.

I don't see universal anything in BDSM, and in the ideal of SSC least of all.

Universal across the whole of the community with the possible exception of some in the very extremes. Other than that it's supposed to be something that is agreed upon by the parties involved. So while what one person loves and gets off on that will of course be construed as horrible punishment by another.

So, ssc is "known" universally across the board which makes you wrong. And me right. neenerneenerneener.....

 

[JMohegan]

Universal across the whole of the community with the possible exception of some in the very extremes. Other than that it's supposed to be something that is agreed upon by the parties involved. So while what one person loves and gets off on that will of course be construed as horrible punishment by another.

So, ssc is "known" universally across the board which makes you wrong. And me right. neenerneenerneener.....

LOL....

That's the first nana I've received since coming to this board! Thanks, Betticus.

Nana notwithstanding, however....

Doms are "universally across the board" present in a Dom/sub relationship. But what it means to be a Dom is "supposed to be something that is agreed upon by the parties involved".

So it's the same thing. Which was my point.

Beat that.