I have a major, serious, dire problem...

[kiwiwolf]

I have this huge mountain of bits and bytes lying around my hard drive in the rough shape of something resembling an erotic story... 40,000 words worth to be roughly, approximately exact.

It is my fondest wish to post this thing in parts then get my shaggy ass in gear and actually finish it. I want to submit it this week but have run into a Major snag. I don't have a damned title for it and my brain has gone decidedly numb.

It is a story about an adult student at college who falls for his English Lit professor. The trouble is, her ex hubby is an evil little bastard who just happens to be a capo in the Mafia. There is sex, shooting, death, car chases, intrigue and a couple of really nifty little twists in this little puppy.... but no sodding title!!!

Any ideas folks? I'm not after an instant title or anything like that but for the next 12 callers who offer suggestions I will send you free of charge... a set of steak knives.

Has anyone else come across this sort of problem and if so, how did you get around it?










I was joking about the steak knives... buy your own.

 

[Un-registered]

.... but no sodding title

To quote "Call it No Drums, No Trumpets."

 

[English Lady]

my husband usually comes up with my titles. i am totally crap at doing titles, I just write the stories.


teaching a lesson mafia style ?


Play with teacher play, with mafia ?


student/teacher relations the pitfalls ?



Ok i told you i was bad with titles!

 

[MathGirl]

Titles

Why not try something with proven popularity? E.g.

"The Godfather"
"The Bible"
"The Hunchback of Notre Dame"

Diane the Ever Helpful

 

[Pookie]

Probably cliched .. but ..

"Higher Education" or "Adult Education"


Good luck with it. Sounds like it will be an interesting story.

Pookie

 

[TheEarl]

Will always remember that Jack Dee routine about how the Bible would have been taken less seriously if there'd been one extra letter in it's title:

"Thou shalt not kill"
"Why not?"
"Cause it says so in the Bibble."

Anyway...

How about "Why you shouldn't fall in love with a mafioso's ex." "Ten reasons not to get involved with a capo's wife." A little long, but the best I can come up with at the moment.

The Earl

 

[NoJo]

How about "Don't fuck with Shakespeare" or "The Egghead at the Bottom of the River" or "Cooking the Books" or "Tale of Two Dons"...

 

[Whispersecret]

Don't Fuck with the Teacher

Don't Mess with the Mob (Okay, that's kinda silly)

Dire Consequences

Stealing from Syndicate

Finders Keepers, Losers Die (LOL)

A Possession Forever


I don't expect you to use any of these, but maybe some of this will spark you to think of something good.

Another idea is to think of some of the stories the characters studied in the English Lit class and tweak one of the titles to make one for your own story.

 

[Octavian]

title

There was a famous film about a teacher called 'Goodbye, Mr Chips'

How about 'Arrividerci, Mr Chips' or 'Mr Chips and the Hitman'?

Octavian

 

[PoliteSuccubus]

Mr. Chips sleeps with the Fishes? *snigger*

School Ties? *Yes, it's a movie, but it works for this story because he's tied to the teacher thu their mutal ties to the school and she's tied to the mob due to her tying the marriage knot...why are you looking at me like that? It works!*

Basic Education *basically, don't have affairs with your mob related teacher*

I could come up with some punny ones if I knew what kind of teacher she was...

Lust 101 (also a movie Murder 101)

Um....

Revisionst Sexual History.........

A Blood Red Apple for the Teacher

The Unusual Education of (incert student name here)

 

[SexyChele]

Dang, I know what you are going through! The title is normally the last thing I deal with because it is so tough!

But, I can recommend an essay right here at Literotica that might help set your mind in the right direction. How to Get People to Read Your Story by our own WhisperSecret is something I've turned to a few times to help me keep in mind what a title should be and how to choose it.

BTW, I sorta like her suggestions as well!

Sorry, I don't have anything for you, but you know I wish you luck. And if it is like anything else I've read from you, I can guarantee to people that it will be a real "page turner"! I'm telling ya folks, this man can write an action short story like nobody's business!

 

[Just-Legal]

A lesson in Mob education

Educating the Mafia

Teacher, The Mafia and Me

 

[Just_John1]

How about

"A woman scourned is nothing compared to Goombah" (afcourse in my best south philly accent).

Ok, maybe I suck at titles too.

Or how about... "The professor and the Wise Guy."

Or... nah that sucks... LOL...

Goodluck

JJ1

 

[wildsweetone]

Mucho Mafia Mayhem...?

i suck at titles too, sorry. can't wait to read it though kiwiwolf

 

[Guest]

Short & Sweet.........

Personally, I like short, sweet titles myself.

Hmmmmmmm, Mafia huh? How about:

"Fuck Face".

Think about it a moment.....<grin>


I remain,

 

[MathGirl]

Title

"Capo Wopo" ?......... sorry

 

[Dirt Man]

I guess I'm too late for the steak knives, eh...

If the title hasn't come to you yet, then it will when you finish it, or just before. Here's a couple of catchy make up titles to use in the mean time.

The Capo's English Teacher, or The Mafioso's English Teacher...
The Godfather's EX
Seducing the Godmother
Spaggetti EX Is My Teacher/Lover
She Taught Me & Divorced the Mafia


As Always
I Am the
Dirt Man

 

[kiwiwolf]

Thanks for the suggestions folks. Unfortunately and alas and alack, I'm still stuck... I shall battle on and come up with something.

Again thanks for the input.

Shane

 

[wildsweetone]

Maybe if the steak knives were brought back into the equation...

I could do with a nice set of them too.


hmm Is there any one particular phrase that you're really proud of within your story kiwiwolf? Usually titles just hit me between the eyeballs, when they don't I skim over the story and sometimes a little catchphrase jumps out.

hmm Love Potion 101?

 

[NorthwestRain]

How 'bout,

'A gut full o' whiskey, and a mouth full o' muff.'

 

[Guest]

I don't know Northwest.........

To quote NorthwestRain:

"How 'bout,

'A gut full o' whiskey, and a mouth full o' muff"

Sounds more like something Killer Muffin's husband might write.


I remain, (and prepared to duck)

 

[MathGirl]

'A gut full o' whiskey, and a mouth full o' muff.'

That sounds like a line from a country/western song.


"Ohh A gut fulla whiskey anna mouf fulla muff,
Don't hassle me, pardner, 'cause I'm big an' tough,
I bin adrivin' that truck through thick an' thin,
But I don't keer how much trouble it's been,
I gotta gut fulla whiskey anna mouf fulla muff."

 

[NoJo]

I bin driving all night in my big twenty wheeler,
Gonna find me a hoor with a face like a Gila,
I'll pay her ten dollers and she'll do her stuff
I'll end up tonight with a mouth full o' muff.

 

[NoJo]

In a cathouse in Texas I went down on Lucy
I never did taste such a flavorsome pussy
But she had her period, and if that weren't enough
I got a nose full of string and a mouth full of fluff.

 

[MathGirl]

I gotta gut fulla whiskey anna mouf fulla muff,
I've had twenty two drinks an' that's 'bout enough,
Had ta find ma gal, so I crawled on the floor,
Dang bartender thowed me out of the door,
I gotta gut fulla whiskey anna mouf fulla muff.

I gotta gut fulla whiskey an' a mouf fulla muff,
Some folks sez that I play too rough,
Wall, I don' keer what them other folks say,
I kin climb inta my Ford truck and get away,
I gotta gut fulla whiskey anna mouf fulla muff.

I gotta gut fulla whiskey anna mouf fulla muff,
I don't keer fer money, fame, an' stuff,
Jist gimme a gal with a nice hair pie,
It's jist like heaven, but I don't die,
I gotta gut fulla whiskey anna mouf fulla muff.