I hate people who insist on giving you fruit from their yard

[Dixon Carter Lee]

"Want a lemon? Want a plum? You MUST have a plum. Here, try this peach. You MUST try this peach. Let me give you a dozen..."

A woman last night insisted that I take one her stupid little squishy plums, which I put in my bag. In the morning I find that it's more or less melted over ten of my scripts.

She does this all the time. She shows up with little cellophane bags of squishy fruit, insisting that we all try her sad produce, and loading us down with tomatoes we don't need and pink, yellow fruit with exotic names we don't want.

I hate people who insist on giving you fruit from their yard. Keep the kumquat, bring cash.

 

[sunstruck]

Well now you have something to toss to that drug adicted bum outside the Quickie Mart. And you get to keep your dime!

 

[lovetoread]

Well now you have something to toss to that drug adicted bum outside the Quickie Mart. And you get to keep your dime!

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

I hate those people, but I'm not cruel to them.

 

[RawHumor]

Where's KB with one of his violin av's when you need him?

I'm sorry your life is so hard, Dix.

Want a danish?

 

[sunstruck]

I hate those people, but I'm not cruel to them.

I wasn't being sarcastic! (for a change). It's food. It's healthy food. Give it to them.

 

[bluemuse]

I like those people. I will eat their fruit. The good stuff....not the squishy stuf. I want to live in Mayberry.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

I'm sorry your life is so hard, Dix.

Seriously. I haven't even told you about how long it took me to take the shrink wrap off "The Lord of the Rings" DVD I bought yesterday. Christ!

 

[sunstruck]

Seriously. I haven't even told you about how long it took me to take the shrink wrap off "The Lord of the Rings" DVD I bought yesterday. Christ!

I had to grab a box cutter. Why did they have to tape ALL three sides?

And then they tell you there's going to be a special edition DVD out in 3 months! Granted I would probably have bought both anyway but still.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

The current DVD comes with a rebate for the third disc.

 

[sunstruck]

The current DVD comes with a rebate for the third disc.

I saw that. But isn't the Nov release the same only with added material (like the dir's cut which I can't wait to see)?

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

Yeah, I think it's all on a third disc, which you can just add to what you've already bought. That's my understanding anyway...

 

[Hamletmaschine]

It could be worse.

You could live in the Midwest where everyone with a yard thinks, "This year, I'm gonna plant me an extry row of zucchini...."

 

[bluemuse]

It could be worse.

You could live in the Midwest where everyone with a yard thinks, "This year, I'm gonna plant me an extry row of zucchini...."

Extry??? How quaint.

 

[Hamletmaschine]

I'm a Hoosier, gimme a break.

 

[KillerMuffin]

Could be worse. I live an hourish away from AJ cum Synthesist.

And I have produce in my back yard.

I don't share, though. I pick the rotting tomatoes off and toss 'em over the fence at the neighbor's cat.

 

[Nora]

I dunno. I'm kinda jealous. If it wouldn't involve actually *talking* to my neighbors, I'd be all over their excess produce.

But nothing's worth conversing with my neighbors.

 

[sunstruck]

I don't have neighbors. I don't have fruit growing anywhere either. Unless you count the cranberry bogs, but I don't think I'm supposed to go mucking about in there.

They throw things at my dogs.

 

[Sandia]

"Want a lemon? Want a plum? You MUST have a plum. Here, try this peach. You MUST try this peach. Let me give you a dozen..."

A woman last night insisted that I take one her stupid little squishy plums, which I put in my bag. In the morning I find that it's more or less melted over ten of my scripts.

She does this all the time. She shows up with little cellophane bags of squishy fruit, insisting that we all try her sad produce, and loading us down with tomatoes we don't need and pink, yellow fruit with exotic names we don't want.

I hate people who insist on giving you fruit from their yard. Keep the kumquat, bring cash.

They make good compost.

Be glad you don't live further north... in Missouri it's zuchinni... and squash... yuck.

In Florida, though, there was nothing better than when the Grapefruits came on... 'course, back then I just used to steal 'em.

 

[Nora]

Re: Re: I hate people who insist on giving you fruit from their yard

In Florida, though, there was nothing better than when the Grapefruits came on... 'course, back then I just used to steal 'em.

I hope the statute of limitations has run out. I hear that grapefruit stealin' can get ya disbarred.

 

[Calamity Jane]

Yup, Hammy's right. The only reason we lock are doors when we go down ta the WalMarts is ta keep folk from fillin 'em with zookini.

I have no extra produce. I have no produce at all. My horses ate my peach tree, and my apple tree has decided that it's just too hot this year to bear fruit. I let the horses eat the asparagus too.

I wonder if I started delivering bags of 'fertilizer' the neighbors would appreciate that?

 

[desert spike]

Ya wanna cucumber or a tomato. How about some green beans or beets. Bet you'd like the dill pickles. At least they wouldn't spill on your script.

 

[Sandia]

Re: Re: Re: I hate people who insist on giving you fruit from their yard

I hope the statute of limitations has run out. I hear that grapefruit stealin' can get ya disbarred.

Shhh!! Don't say that!

Hey, did you hear the one about the lawyer who got disbarred for stealing grapefruit?


Oh, and Hammy, dammit, you beat me to the post... mofo!!

 

[Sandia]

It could be worse.

You could live in the Midwest where everyone with a yard thinks, "This year, I'm gonna plant me an extry row of zucchini...."

It is true, though. There's something about zucchini and the midwest... it was like a running joke. Every year it was a contest... to see who got stuck with all that shit.

 

[Nora]

Re: Re: Re: Re: I hate people who insist on giving you fruit from their yard

Hey, did you hear the one about the lawyer who got disbarred for stealing grapefruit?

uh-huh. I heard he ended up living in a ..

nm. It's too easy. I just can't do it.