I had no clue

[Hislittlefucktoy]

Guys,

I had no clue that this forum was here.

I have been writing for about three years, and my on line girl pretty much bulldozed me into submitting something here. I write her stories, and she seems to like them. She wanted them published, so she set up this account.

I also write non-erotic stuff too, and I actually have a problem writing love scenes in a larger project that is not predominantly erotic.

And I had never heard about this forum.

I had read a couple of stories, but I had no idea that there was a forum.

And I show up, and there are hundreds of writers and editors here.

Well, consider my mind blown.

(I'm sorry, I can't sign anything with that user name)
Dave

 

[geronimo_appleby]

Guys,

I had no clue that this forum was here.

I have been writing for about three years, and my on line girl pretty much bulldozed me into submitting something here. I write her stories, and she seems to like them. She wanted them published, so she set up this account.

I also write non-erotic stuff too, and I actually have a problem writing love scenes in a larger project that is not predominantly erotic.

And I had never heard about this forum.

I had read a couple of stories, but I had no idea that there was a forum.

And I show up, and there are hundreds of writers and editors here.

Well, consider my mind blown.

(I'm sorry, I can't sign anything with that user name)
Dave

got any published at lit?

if not, get 'em up!

welcome aboard, btw. watch out for the Loving Wives category.

 

[wet_special]

Cool man, welcome aboard.

Speaking from experience, your user name might confuse some people about your gender What kind of erotica do you write?

 

[Hislittlefucktoy]

Erotica?

Well, mostly I write little (2-3000 word) bits in chat to my girl. She turns on her webcam. She has a submissive streak (when I don't really have a dominant streak) and the stories tend to rotate around that. We do this two to three times a week.

She seems to enjoy them, and she keeps showing up, so I guess she does. She seems to think that there is something in the writing worth publishing.

And, I suppose I do too.

But this forum is blowing my mind.

(and she picked the user name, hoping to submit the stories herself. Since she didn't write them, she can't.)

Dave

 

[Bebeslut]

Sounds like an intriguing relationship.

Erotica?

Well, mostly I write little (2-3000 word) bits in chat to my girl. She turns on her webcam. She has a submissive streak (when I don't really have a dominant streak) and the stories tend to rotate around that. We do this two to three times a week.

She seems to enjoy them, and she keeps showing up, so I guess she does. She seems to think that there is something in the writing worth publishing.

And, I suppose I do too.

But this forum is blowing my mind.

(and she picked the user name, hoping to submit the stories herself. Since she didn't write them, she can't.)

Dave

 

[TE999]

Welcome to Lit and the AH, Dave.

It sounds as if your stories would most likely fit in Lit's BDSM category if they're of a D/s nature. Post some and see how they're received. Don't mind the trolls, they like to rain on everyone's parade and are usually anonymous comments anyway.

Happy writing.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

Yo, welcome to Lit!

Yes, do watch out for Loving Wives category, it's really fun to post stories to if you like poking the trolls with a stick and I do. Poke trolls with a stick. No not that stick.

Good luck!

 

[Stella_Omega]

I'm getting a giggle out of thinking about the PMs and anonymous emails you're going to be getting with that handle...

Readers are not as smart as you'd wish.

Welcome!

 

[Bianca_Sommerland]

Welcome to lit!

I'm giggling too. I get strange PMs. I can just imagine...

Anyway, this has got to be one of the most interesting newbie posts I've ever come across. I'm so curious about the relationship, I'd check out the stories just to see if they'd satisfy me. Well my curiousity...

You know what I mean.

Get yourself a siggie, Dave, put up links so we can see your stuff!

 

[Hislittlefucktoy]

Bianca,

Yeah, I am going to have to figure out how to fix that user name. One of the problems with the registration was that I had actually forgotten the password for my "burn" email address. I was a little insecure about actually posting the stories.

But, we've been at this for a while, and the stories range all across the spectrum. It gets tough to find something that we haven't done in stories after a while. Sometimes "themes" get reused.

It's odd. I have written about a quarter of a million words of "vanilla" fiction, but never submitted anything. Hundreds of hours editing, and literally years of angst, and nothing ever got submitted for publication.

And one of the biggest stumbling blocks in my commercial writing is love scenes.

But one little girl demands that "her stories" get out to the world, and I will do anything to keep that webcam on.

In answer to the question that Geronimo posted, no, it is not possible to see anything that I have written at this point. My very first submission ever, to anybody, was made this morning (about eighteen hours ago) and it was written over the course of a two hour web cam session, and edited while she smoked a cigarette. It is almost certain to be rejected.

But, we will be at it again soon, and I expect that she will want her story submitted someplace. No promises as to when, but she is a horny little thing.

And, in case somebody was wondering, she and I have never met, and probably never will.

Dave

 

[Handley_Page]

Welcome to lit!

You know what I mean.

Get yourself a siggie, Dave, put up links so we can see your stuff!

Here here.
Welcome and enjoy !

 

[Bianca_Sommerland]

Wow. Well you could just keep posting about your fascinating relationship here.

You've never met her in person? What's stopping you?

Bianca,

Yeah, I am going to have to figure out how to fix that user name. One of the problems with the registration was that I had actually forgotten the password for my "burn" email address. I was a little insecure about actually posting the stories.

But, we've been at this for a while, and the stories range all across the spectrum. It gets tough to find something that we haven't done in stories after a while. Sometimes "themes" get reused.

It's odd. I have written about a quarter of a million words of "vanilla" fiction, but never submitted anything. Hundreds of hours editing, and literally years of angst, and nothing ever got submitted for publication.

And one of the biggest stumbling blocks in my commercial writing is love scenes.

But one little girl demands that "her stories" get out to the world, and I will do anything to keep that webcam on.

In answer to the question that Geronimo posted, no, it is not possible to see anything that I have written at this point. My very first submission ever, to anybody, was made this morning (about eighteen hours ago) and it was written over the course of a two hour web cam session, and edited while she smoked a cigarette. It is almost certain to be rejected.

But, we will be at it again soon, and I expect that she will want her story submitted someplace. No promises as to when, but she is a horny little thing.

And, in case somebody was wondering, she and I have never met, and probably never will.

Dave

 

[Hislittlefucktoy]

Well, they published it. I honestly think that the way they are composed is a real limiting factor with the stories. I don't know exactly how to go about improving the writing.

The second person presentation is how I write the stories for FT, but it is a weird narrative mode to see in print.

If I switch out of Second person, then the story will lose a lot of the immediacy, because the reader is literally looking at a part of our sex life. The Exhibitionist Element could be completely washed out by changing the narrative mode.

And I really think that I can do a lot better than a twenty five hundred word story composed and edited in an hour.

Ya'll were right about comments. It was amusing to see the anonymous comment telling me that I should not be writing in first person, because apparently the poster didn't know the difference between first and second person.

Ya'll were right about the emails as well. I have one from a lady that seemed to enjoy the story in "a very personal way" (God, what an ego stroke that is), and one telling me that my on line master was very lucky, presumably told to me to inform me that there was somebody who would value me as well. I almost don't have the heart to tell him that he isn't actually addressing FT.

If anybody had any suggestions as to how to improve the writing, that would be great. I really do consider myself to be a writer. There are pages and pages of essays, and I don't really know where to start.

And Bianca, FT and I have actually met, years ago, when I was in college. She and I recently re contacted through facebook, and started the story thing. We probably wont be meeting, because she is in a place where she has to really keep her head down, and play good vanilla church going lady, because other people are counting on her.

Plus, I live in southern Germany, and she lives in North Mississippi.

thanks
Dave

 

[Hislittlefucktoy]

Oh, yeah, the link.

http://www.literotica.com/s/at-the-lake

Dave

 

[Hislittlefucktoy]

Well, I just re-read the story, and it sucks. It sounds like crap composed, edited and posted in an hour.

I will add another editing layer in between us and the reader. I hope it doesn't damage the immediacy.

Dave

 

[Stella_Omega]

Well, I just re-read the story, and it sucks. It sounds like crap composed, edited and posted in an hour.

I will add another editing layer in between us and the reader. I hope it doesn't damage the immediacy.

Dave

OH! MY! GAWD!

It really IS second person. I am impressed.

(we've had several loud and contentious threads here recently on the subject)

My editing suggestion would be to coalesce almost every one of your single-line paragraphs into multi-line paragraphs. It looks like you've written a few too many chat stories.

 

[Hislittlefucktoy]

Well, yes.

The story is composed in a chat session where I start with something like "You walk out the sliding doors of the hotel, not quite knowing what to expect..." and we kind of improvise from there.

Look, in the past year, FT and I have composed 108 stories. Some of them are good. Most of them are only good enough for their intended purpose. That isn't a bad thing. She loves them, and I love the process. We are both fond of each other, and the sharing adds a whole lot of spice.

Is anybody enjoying the connection between the stories and our personal connection? You are getting exactly what she gets when we enjoy our sessions together. In essence, you are a part of our fun, but you have to wait a couple of hours to get it.

So, I am a bit torn. We could scrap the second person narrative mode, and you could get a better story, but you wouldn't be there with us any longer.

So, please tell me what you think we should do.

Dave

 

[Stella_Omega]

Well, yes.

The story is composed in a chat session where I start with something like "You walk out the sliding doors of the hotel, not quite knowing what to expect..." and we kind of improvise from there.

Look, in the past year, FT and I have composed 108 stories. Some of them are good. Most of them are only good enough for their intended purpose. That isn't a bad thing. She loves them, and I love the process. We are both fond of each other, and the sharing adds a whole lot of spice.

Is anybody enjoying the connection between the stories and our personal connection? You are getting exactly what she gets when we enjoy our sessions together. In essence, you are a part of our fun, but you have to wait a couple of hours to get it.

So, I am a bit torn. We could scrap the second person narrative mode, and you could get a better story, but you wouldn't be there with us any longer.

So, please tell me what you think we should do.

Dave

Well... the reader is not, actually, part of your fun, because they are not you. You already know who you are, so you haven't bothered establishing character, for instance.

I think your second person stories just need a bit of adding to. Women readers like some emotional and sensory context with their action, as a generality, and your girl can provide her own context out of your mutual connection, but me-- not so much. I need to read more about what I'm thinking, what I'm feeling.

A million incredibly compelling books have been written in third person-- so we know it's possible, right? Why don't you give one story a rewrite into a tight third person, and see how it feels?

 

[jomar]

It wouldn't take much effort to turn your story into a first person. Maybe try that as an exercise...and I bet you'd end up beefing up a section or two.

 

[Hislittlefucktoy]

Well, FT and I spent this morning together, and we composed in third person today. She didn't seem to mind. Today's submission is entitled "At the Opera".

Changing from second person to third person didn't really seem to harm the experience, and she seemed to like this one.

When I went to submit this one, I was more than a little astounded that fifteen thousand people had viewed FT and my last story. Apparently, there are more kinky people around than I had imagined.

So, the story is pending, and when it comes out, I will post a link to it here. FT is a lot less impressed with the publication than I thought she would be, because she actually insisted that I submit them. She likes reading the emails, but is uninterested in the forum here, which I find is a little odd. She says she trusts me, and as long as I don't identify her, she's fine with whatever I do.

So, aside from switching from Second Person to Third Person, where should I start if I am going to improve my writing?

Dave

 

[Stella_Omega]

Dude, your second-person writing is NOT the problem. Get over the bad habit of single-sentence paragraphs.

 

[Hislittlefucktoy]

Stella_Omega,

Thanks, I appreciate it.

The new story (if it is acceptable) has a lot less of that, but I am still running between four and five single line paragraphs per page.

Dave

 

[Hislittlefucktoy]

Oh, and one woman sent me a picture of her butt.

Is this normal?

Dave

 

[Stella_Omega]

Oh, and one woman sent me a picture of her butt.

Is this normal?

Dave

hee hee yeah-- welcome to the wild and wacky world of literotica!

Did she want you to spank it?

 

[Hislittlefucktoy]

She didn't mention anything like that. I think it was a gesture of appreciation. It was actually quite a lovely butt.

But, it was a little unexpected.

Dave