I got crazy feedback on my story

[musicankane]

I put up a story of mine on the site recently and was surprized to find how much people liked it.

It's called The Show and it is in the celebrity section.

I was wondering if anyone on this forum has read it and can give me an honest answer.

 

[patricia51]

Music. May I suggest you post a link to the story in the message. That makes it easier to go to the story and then come immediately back here.

 

[TheCaptain]

Hey, just thought I'd post this for musicankane and for those who're interested in reading these stories... just click on the link below and there you go!

MusicanKane's Stories

BTW: I'm guessing that the story you recieved the great feedback from was The Show Ch. 01, but I thought it was worth posting a link to all of your stories, musicankane. Will read all of your works myself when I get the chance to and will endeavour to give some constructive feedback when I'm done, but just thought that would help everyone interested out there!

And remember, never let the mud-slingers who hide behind the 'anonymous' feedback feature get you down, EVER! Have fun, and keep -ing!

 

[musicankane]

thanks guys

 

[TheCaptain]

Well, the three chapters that you've posted so far are definitely great stories, and I tip my hat to you as a fellow writer myself; good job!

For me, the stories were brief and to the point, with a mininum of lead-in 'fluff', as it were... probably good for smut, but I myself like to develop things a little bit more. Just a personal preference on my part.

But I've found that the latest series of stories that I've written has taken me way too long to get out, so I'm probably going to cut things back to two or three pages now anyways. I would recommend to you that you think about doing the same, musicankane. Keep things to about that length, not this 1-page work that seems like only a flash of time, only five to ten minutes or so, in this character's magical Truman-esque world!

The second story was lacking a little bit because there was only one, quite brief sex scene, and the writing was missing a bit of the flair and the description of the first chapter (though you don't want to describe ever little detail, especially with the characters - its best to let the readers fill in the gaps in their own minds, its more stimulating for them).

The third story was almost on par with the first, though it too was just A LITTLE less than the first in sheer eroticism (a very hard term to define, yes I know, and its different from person to person). Suffice to say, The Show's first chapter was in my mind the best... a great concept, the lead-in was executed brilliantly to appeal to the most varied of audiences, and the sex was top-rate.

The concept itself has limitless possibilites, and I love the way that the work seems to read like a x-rated teen drama (you'll understand me here if you've read the stories! ).

Okay, finally... to sum it all up, work out why the first chapter was so engaging, take that special formula, and now work it into the rest of the chapters of your series. I gave you 100-rating all three chapters, though I believe the first chapter was worth all the marks and the other two were in the mid-90s.

 

[TheCaptain]

BTW: I would like to apologize greatly for the first two Public Comments (PCs) which I made on The Show Ch. 02.

I explained on the posts that I really thought the story deserved a mid-90s vote but was putting it in the 100 category anywayz, but the first two PCs (I posted two because Lit didn't show my comment til I went back to the page a minute or so later) are in the 50% category, which is what Lit's default selection is...

I thought I had clicked on the 100 button, but mustn't have. Please delete the first two from Public Comments for me... the author has the ability to delete the comments that he/she wishes, but not the one who made the PC!

Thanks.