I got a chuckle...

[Zeb_Carter]

Blonde's Year In Review

January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels... Helllloooo!!! Bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!

March - Got really excited! Finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months ... box said "2-4 years!"

April - Trapped on escalator for hours ... power went out!!

May - Tried to make Kool-Aid ... wrong instructions on packet ... 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!

June - Tried to go water skiing ... Bummer ... couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition ... learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!

August - Got locked out of my car in rain storm ... car swamped because soft-top was open.

September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it??

October - Hate M &M's .... they are so hard to peel.

November - Burned turkey. Baked it for 4 1/2 days. Instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!

December - Couldn't call 911 ..."duh" ... like there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!!!

What a year!!

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Pmsl!! :d

 

[Grushenka]

The image July brought forth made my skull throb.

 

[scheherazade_79]

I like the breast stroke one!

 

[ABSTRUSE]

I like the breast stroke one!

Do you need help peeling those M&M's?

 

[Huckleman2000]

April - Trapped on escalator for hours ... power went out!!

.....

 

[SeaCat]

*Snort Snicker*

A Blond needs some extra cash so she decides to do some handy man work around her neighborhood.

The first house she goes up to the owner admits to needing his Porch painted. She agrees to do it for $50.00 and he stells her the paint is in the garage.

When the home owner goes inside he tells his wife of their great fortune. Incredulouse she asks him if she knows the porch goes all the way around the house, to which her replies that she must have because she was standing on it.

A short while later the Blonde steps inside and tells the homeowners that she was done, and that she had so much paint left over she had done a second coat. The owners couldn't believe this but paid up.

As she was leaving the Blonde looked at at them and informed them that it had been and easy job:

"But it wasn't a Porsche," She commented, "It was a Ferrari."

Cat

 

[Liar]

I like the breast stroke one!

That sentence could do so much with just one little comma.