G
Guest
Guest
I am posting here to relieve my broken heart. I met a man 5 years ago at my place of work. He has since moved in the past couple of months half way across the country. It has been the worst summer for me, anticipating his leave. Now he is gone and it is so hard to get him out of my mind or heart. I was so afraid that when he left that he would forget about me. I sent him off with some gifts that I hoped would not allow him to forget his connections here. He was very appreciative of them.
Our relationship has always been professional, never crossed the line in the physical realm, but maybe in a personal and emotional way it did. He is incredibly charming and liked by everyone. I am also liked by everyone, have a nack for people and am very social with everyone. I am very confident and my approach sometimes can be seen as agggressive. I think some of these characteristics caught his attention. He is a physician, and most people are intimidated by them, because of power etc. I am not, and I find that whatever you see an individual as, maybe in a position of power, there is always a person under that facade that has the same desires, worries, and needs that you possess yourself. I find that being yourself and revealing yourself is the best way to build relationships, because you show your true character.
What drew me to this man was his character, his excellence in his work, and also he is attractive. Being that he is Indian also creates interest because he is different. He also worked closely with me and got to know my family because he took care of a family member.
We always clicked on work basis, he relied on me to have the answers he needed. It made his job easier, and it was no chore for me to help him. I have worked at my job long enough and with enough physicians, I have an excellent reputation with them.
By my constant interractions with him, I began to know personal things about him, and probably took him by surprise when I asked him personal things. Although I think he questioned my motives at first, it seems that Indian men are not used to assertive women, I feel that he became comfortable sharing things with me because he trusted me. He would go on trips and come back and tell me all about them, excitedly, and funny things that had happened. I thoroughly enjoyed his stories and looked forward to his return every time, after all, he was my friend. He gave me special attention that he did not give others, we would talk about things that he didn't talk with others about. Nothing pretentious, or taboo, just relaxed conversation, always happy, and the feeling was that we enjoyed one anothers company.
The only thing that I can say negative about him is that I noticed that he was incredibly self centered. It was always about him. He had enormous amounts of attention paid to him by the women that he worked with. He was an incredible flirt himself, but never innappropriate with his conversation. He ate it up. I am not a jealous person, as I get lots of attention too. Not once did he ever give me a compliment. I do not know how he feels about me, physically etc. He never told me how he felt about me at my job. He seemed uncomfortable with those things. He tried once to tell me my handwriting was always clean or something, it was so unnatural, he fumbled it. I on the other hand am a very complimentary person. I give them when I feel they are deserved, I do not hold them back. I always gave them to him. Sometimes he had trouble expressing what he wanted to say, as it came to more personal things, but it's just something I accepted because I liked him so much, you just tend to overlook others weaknesses.
I fault myself for falling for him. Looking back on this relationship, I am a little mad at him. He moved to this area with the intention that it was temporary. He allowed our relationship to be personal. I know he was attracted to me by the way he spoke with me and looked at me. I could see it in his eyes. There is nothing wrong with that, and I was never offended by it.
There are so many things I wish I could have said to him, tell him how I feel, but I know most of everything will be unsaid. He called work to talk to everyone and me after he moved. When I talked to him he sounded happy to talk to me, He sounded like he missed me and he told me he would keep in touch. His voice had that familiar sound that I had come to know and appreciate, and also missed terribly. We made that connection that we had so often in the past.
It has been incredibly hard for me, now that he is gone. He gave us his phone number to call him, so we did. It was 2 weeks later and we had not heard from him, so I sent him a letter. It was light and funny, yet I told him I was thinking about him and of course encouraged him to call us. It was over 2 weeks later and still no call from him. We called him again and finally got him to call us back.
Talking to him on the phone was an incredible strain. He sounded almost unnerved that we made the phone call, he fumbled for words and mumbled many times. He acknowledged the letter but forgot many details. I couldn't hardly stand talking to him and wanted to get off the phone. I handed the phone to someone else without saying goodbye. He proceeded to say that he said he would call from time to time, every now and then and then also said we are all happy here. Emphasis we are all happy here, and don't bother me. I will call you when I want to etc. What? I do doubt his happiness in his surroundings, I know he has more time on his hands.
I am suddenly sensing that this man is feeling threatened. By what? He created a relationship, now he 3,000 plus miles away and starts acting like this? He says he will keep in touch but doesn't. I am puzzled and incredibly hurt by him. I could tell it in his voice, whatever his problem is he could not tell me. It's too bad that he feels annoyed by people who care about him and want to talk to him. I openly admit that I have a vested interest in him, and made that call for everyone but mostly for me.
It is so hard to adjust to this after seeing him and talking to him practically everyday, or seeing him to having him leave and potentially never seeing him again. For him to be this way on the phone makes me sick. I would never tell anyone the depths of my feelings for him, even our personal relationship as it stands now. I would never reveal what we talk about, which is nothing, but others would make something of it if they knew how close we were.
Yes I admit, I love him. I know that I do. I think about him daily, and I can't get him out of my heart. No one knows that, so I am in my private little painful world. The most awful thing is that he is so far away, and I will probably never see him again. I so much want to be stern with him the next time I talk to him, and tell him off. I might not get the opportunity to do so. I hope he reads this, because he will know that it is him.
Our relationship has always been professional, never crossed the line in the physical realm, but maybe in a personal and emotional way it did. He is incredibly charming and liked by everyone. I am also liked by everyone, have a nack for people and am very social with everyone. I am very confident and my approach sometimes can be seen as agggressive. I think some of these characteristics caught his attention. He is a physician, and most people are intimidated by them, because of power etc. I am not, and I find that whatever you see an individual as, maybe in a position of power, there is always a person under that facade that has the same desires, worries, and needs that you possess yourself. I find that being yourself and revealing yourself is the best way to build relationships, because you show your true character.
What drew me to this man was his character, his excellence in his work, and also he is attractive. Being that he is Indian also creates interest because he is different. He also worked closely with me and got to know my family because he took care of a family member.
We always clicked on work basis, he relied on me to have the answers he needed. It made his job easier, and it was no chore for me to help him. I have worked at my job long enough and with enough physicians, I have an excellent reputation with them.
By my constant interractions with him, I began to know personal things about him, and probably took him by surprise when I asked him personal things. Although I think he questioned my motives at first, it seems that Indian men are not used to assertive women, I feel that he became comfortable sharing things with me because he trusted me. He would go on trips and come back and tell me all about them, excitedly, and funny things that had happened. I thoroughly enjoyed his stories and looked forward to his return every time, after all, he was my friend. He gave me special attention that he did not give others, we would talk about things that he didn't talk with others about. Nothing pretentious, or taboo, just relaxed conversation, always happy, and the feeling was that we enjoyed one anothers company.
The only thing that I can say negative about him is that I noticed that he was incredibly self centered. It was always about him. He had enormous amounts of attention paid to him by the women that he worked with. He was an incredible flirt himself, but never innappropriate with his conversation. He ate it up. I am not a jealous person, as I get lots of attention too. Not once did he ever give me a compliment. I do not know how he feels about me, physically etc. He never told me how he felt about me at my job. He seemed uncomfortable with those things. He tried once to tell me my handwriting was always clean or something, it was so unnatural, he fumbled it. I on the other hand am a very complimentary person. I give them when I feel they are deserved, I do not hold them back. I always gave them to him. Sometimes he had trouble expressing what he wanted to say, as it came to more personal things, but it's just something I accepted because I liked him so much, you just tend to overlook others weaknesses.
I fault myself for falling for him. Looking back on this relationship, I am a little mad at him. He moved to this area with the intention that it was temporary. He allowed our relationship to be personal. I know he was attracted to me by the way he spoke with me and looked at me. I could see it in his eyes. There is nothing wrong with that, and I was never offended by it.
There are so many things I wish I could have said to him, tell him how I feel, but I know most of everything will be unsaid. He called work to talk to everyone and me after he moved. When I talked to him he sounded happy to talk to me, He sounded like he missed me and he told me he would keep in touch. His voice had that familiar sound that I had come to know and appreciate, and also missed terribly. We made that connection that we had so often in the past.
It has been incredibly hard for me, now that he is gone. He gave us his phone number to call him, so we did. It was 2 weeks later and we had not heard from him, so I sent him a letter. It was light and funny, yet I told him I was thinking about him and of course encouraged him to call us. It was over 2 weeks later and still no call from him. We called him again and finally got him to call us back.
Talking to him on the phone was an incredible strain. He sounded almost unnerved that we made the phone call, he fumbled for words and mumbled many times. He acknowledged the letter but forgot many details. I couldn't hardly stand talking to him and wanted to get off the phone. I handed the phone to someone else without saying goodbye. He proceeded to say that he said he would call from time to time, every now and then and then also said we are all happy here. Emphasis we are all happy here, and don't bother me. I will call you when I want to etc. What? I do doubt his happiness in his surroundings, I know he has more time on his hands.
I am suddenly sensing that this man is feeling threatened. By what? He created a relationship, now he 3,000 plus miles away and starts acting like this? He says he will keep in touch but doesn't. I am puzzled and incredibly hurt by him. I could tell it in his voice, whatever his problem is he could not tell me. It's too bad that he feels annoyed by people who care about him and want to talk to him. I openly admit that I have a vested interest in him, and made that call for everyone but mostly for me.
It is so hard to adjust to this after seeing him and talking to him practically everyday, or seeing him to having him leave and potentially never seeing him again. For him to be this way on the phone makes me sick. I would never tell anyone the depths of my feelings for him, even our personal relationship as it stands now. I would never reveal what we talk about, which is nothing, but others would make something of it if they knew how close we were.
Yes I admit, I love him. I know that I do. I think about him daily, and I can't get him out of my heart. No one knows that, so I am in my private little painful world. The most awful thing is that he is so far away, and I will probably never see him again. I so much want to be stern with him the next time I talk to him, and tell him off. I might not get the opportunity to do so. I hope he reads this, because he will know that it is him.
