i Feel Older, Younger, Both At Once

[ModernPromethean]

i used to feel older, younger, both at once .... every time i won, i lost ...every time i counted, i forget and had to begin again ....everything i planned waited, and having to wait made me old, and the older i got, the more i waited, and everything i was waiting for had already been planned ... i felt sadder, wiser, neither simultaneously, nor concomitantly .... everything was almost true, and the almost truth was everywhere ... i felt sadder, older, wiser, younger but not all at once ... i would end in beginning, and in ending, i found that the beginning was the first thing i did .... i stopped when i should have started, and my heart keep't on bleeding.... and I knew, in my bleeding heart that i must go on starting, in spite of always wanting to stop ....i knew in my bleeding heart that i must stop my stopping and start to start ...i knew i could have always ended at the beginning or begun at the end ... i felt older, both at once