I don't need no stinkin' directions...

[Dixon Carter Lee]

I never let my food sit "for one minute" in a Microwave, unwrap a CD by using the little tab, wear safety glasses to hammer anything, or hold the spray can at a 45 degree angle 8 inches from the surface. Hell, sometimes I shampoo and don't even "Repeat".

Am I a rebel?

 

[plasticman33]

Damn DCL you really do live dangerously! Don't hold that spray can 8" away from a lit match!

 

[SexyChele]

DCL, we've always known you are Lit's own original rebel!

 

[Texan]

damn DCL

I'll bet you even tear the tag off your pollow and matress.... You really do live on the edge.


(this thread with appologies to Ray Romano)

 

[estevie]

My fav directions are those that come on an appliance of some sort..."please remove plastic before using" and the thing is wrapped in 2 miles of fucking plastic, can't even see what it is without removing the plastic, let alone use the damn thing. How stupid are people? Wait, don't answer that!

Give 'em hell, DCL!

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

You have all emboldened me. Tomorrow I shave without shaking the can "well".

 

[plasticman33]

My fav directions are those that come on an appliance of some sort..."please remove plastic before using" and the thing is wrapped in 2 miles of fucking plastic, can't even see what it is without removing the plastic, let alone use the damn thing. How stupid are people? Wait, don't answer that!

Give 'em hell, DCL!

Este, unwrap me carefully!

 

[espressolover]

Lol!!!

We are walking the edge of the knife here, aren't we?

I hate the "dummy directions", don't you??

Lol!!!

 

[doctor_insanus]

Hey... you're not using that internally, are you?

Good God, man! This time, you've gone too far!

 

[fgarvb1]

I can assure that the manufacturer means business when they say use a hammer and a board to install bearing grease cups in boat trailer wheels. A peice of board and a BRICK is asking for trouble and a scar that runs half around the little finger on the left hand.

 

[Nobody Special's wife]

So are you saying that even if you lost on some dessert highway you still wouldn't stop at a gas station and ask for directions??

 

[Guest]

Well, I used the electric vibrator without drying off first.
Now, that's a rebel!

 

[Texan]

What about

The instructions that really should be there, but are not?

Like, on the driver's side dash of every car..... "Engage brain before inserting key."

and,

Posted everywhere..... "Wash feet before opening mouth to speak."

and,

On this board....... "Wear asbestos suit when clicking SUBMIT REPLY button."

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

So are you saying that even if you lost on some dessert highway you still wouldn't stop at a gas station and ask for directions??

Yes I would, but I wouldn't fold the map back up exactly the same way twice.

 

[Merelan]

Hate to break it to you Dixon, but I don't think you can refold a map the same way twice. Not without a degree from MIT and a grant from the federal government.

 

[Marxist]

So are you saying that even if you lost on some dessert highway you still wouldn't stop at a gas station and ask for directions??

Would that be the famous Hershey Highway I've heard so much about?

Part two, does one really need directions to get there?

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

Hate to break it to you Dixon, but I don't think you can refold a map the same way twice. Not without a degree from MIT and a grant from the federal government.

Or a long summer at the Robin Hood Origami Summer Camp for Tots and Teens.

 

[Merelan]

Oh my. Was that you in the lime green shorts and the plaid shirt? Honest, I never meant to drown your paper swan, but you know.

Birds are suppose to float.

 

[SimplySouthern]

Sometimes, when I'm writing with a Sharpie, I inhale extra deep.

Which explains some of my posts.

Another one of life's little mysteries solved.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

I just got close to your Av and inhaled extra deep.

Thank you.

 

[SimplySouthern]

You are a truly trashy man.

Thank God that's right up my alley.