I do not Understand...

[BDisaster]

How the hell the female mind works. Im an 18 year old bi gal and i am just fucking baffled! Im in love with this girl i met through work, she says shes straight but i honestly think shes in denial. She makes my gaydar go crazy but anyway i fell in love with her and i have done everything in my power to try to get this girl to see how much i care but she just blows me off. Instead she dates these abusive guys who verbally and sometimes physiclly attack her. I want to scream because she should atleast have the decency to date someone worthy who makes her happy so i dont have to feel like im worse then an abusive asshole just because he has a penis

I have no idea where i was going with that...i really just needed to rant.

Oh, and im larger then normal but i think i pull it off farely well. Most dont think im unattractive. I dont know how im suppose to find a girlfriend or boyfriend. im honestly clueless when it comes to relationships (never been kissed and all). Any ideas on how I should go about approaching random people and trying to get a date?

 

[Recidiva]

Well, she's straight. You being confused just puts you in the same league with every straight guy.

Welcome to being oppositely gendered.

My best advice is don't go looking. Just go have fun with your life. Be in love with yourself. I know this sounds like total bullshit, but it's the best advice I've got. That and masturbation. Generally if you're attractive to yourself and being yourself, it means you know who you are and you're not trying to change yourself to be with other people. That means people can be attracted to who you are. Figure out who you are first, try figuring out other people only as a sideline.

 

[BDisaster]

thank you, thats some good advice

 

[Recidiva]

thank you, thats some good advice

You're welcome, be happy

I'm serious about the masturbation part, though!

 

[BDisaster]

im gonna be honest and say that I have never in my life masturbated...or atleast i dont think i have haha im like the cleanest person ever

 

[sic_and_sour]

im gonna be honest and say that I have never in my life masturbated...or atleast i dont think i have haha im like the cleanest person ever

You poor girl never been kissed and never masturbated you most be horny as hell

 

[Mari J]

im like the cleanest person ever

Masturbation is clean. Do it.

 

[BDisaster]

frustrated haha very frustrated

 

[sic_and_sour]

you need to get some relief soon before you go crazy

 

[BDisaster]

i just dont know how to go about doing it. I dont have any toys, i have a dvd or two but thats about it

 

[Recidiva]

Food is a need. Sometimes people cook for you, and that's nice. If nobody cooks for you, you still have to eat.

Sex is a need. If nobody is there to have sex with you, you still have to provide for yourself. If someone tells you otherwise, they're selling you something, usually a religion.

"Life is pain, anyone who says different is selling something." Princess Bride

Listen to the Dread Pirate Roberts. And me. Masturbate and eat and enjoy yourself. Otherwise really, you get twisted and starved.

 

[Mari J]

If I remember correctly, the book Our Bodies Ourselves has a good section on masturbation.

 

[revolution724]

Masturbation is like the cleanest thing you can do. It feels great, it's relaxing, it hurts nobody's feelings (especially if you are single) and there's absolutely no risk of disease or pregnancy. I highly recommend giving it a go.

As people have mentioned, there are some wonderful resources out there if you're not sure what to do, but experimenting is fun, too.

As for the girl... it's very sad when someone doesn't return your feelings, for whatever reason. And her dating abusive men is tragic for her, and maybe reflects some things that she's been through personally, but really doesn't reflect on how great you are. Good luck.

 

[BDisaster]

thanks guys, youve all been a ton of help!

i would look for that book...if i didnt think someone would find me in the dirty section of barnes and noble and spread it around like wild fire. any good websites out there? maybe even this one lol

 

[Mari J]

Ah, but that's exactly why I recommended that particular book. It's a health book; it wouldn't be in the dirty section.

 

[John Doe]

Oh, and im larger then normal but i think i pull it off farely well. Most dont think im unattractive. I dont know how im suppose to find a girlfriend or boyfriend. im honestly clueless when it comes to relationships (never been kissed and all). Any ideas on how I should go about approaching random people and trying to get a date?

I feel ya. Been there, done that...well, still there actually.

Anyway, enough about me. Like Recidiva said, it's best to stop looking for a boy- and/or girlfriend and get to know yourself first.

After all, they say the moment you stop looking for love is the moment it walks up and taps you on the shoulder.

 

[kbate]

I have not dated a random person in a few years but my technique for obtaining dates was always direct. I walked up to other women I found attractive and asked if they would dance, would like a drink, coffee, whatever. Anything to be noticed and to let them know that I was interested.

I was often rejected, told "I'm straight", ignored and sometimes *gasp* successful.

Fear is the primary reason most people do not take step up to the plate and take a swing. You might be rejected, she might call you a dyke, the office might hear about it, a million other reasons to not seek those things you want.

I learned a few years ago; if there is something you really want and you are not moving toward obtaining it, you do not really want it and all the excuses are just that, excuses.

When you find a person you are interested in, and you have even the slightest sense that she is bi or gay, you need to act before fear can tell you to stop. Make the first step one time and you will find that from that day forward your life is different.

Oh, and try masturbating in the meantime, it is a good thing.

 

[human_male]

Forget about her. She's straight, and no amount of wishful thinking will change that. No one can explain why nice girls go for abusive sacks of shit men but sometimes they just do.

 

[Wolfman1982]

Forget about her. She's straight, and no amount of wishful thinking will change that. No one can explain why nice girls go for abusive sacks of shit men but sometimes they just do.

Well perhaps this would sound male schuvinistic, but it could because the abusive sacks of shite are good fuckers ?

Like they know how to make the woman scream , and when he shouts "who´s your daddy you dumb peace of a whore ?!?" and they shout back while he is fucking them "you !" and etc.

Just my two cents.

 

[Eilan]

Well perhaps this would sound male schuvinistic, but it could because the abusive sacks of shite are good fuckers ?

Like they know how to make the woman scream , and when he shouts "who´s your daddy you dumb peace of a whore ?!?" and they shout back while he is fucking them "you !" and etc.

I've read some pretty ignorant stuff in my time at Lit, and this definitely ranks right up there with the best (worst?) of it. Sheesh. I sure hope you're not speaking from experience. At any rate, you're certainly clueless about the dynamics of an abusive relationship.

Though I have to admit that I find "peace of a whore" highly amusing for some reason.

 

[revolution724]

thanks guys, youve all been a ton of help!

i would look for that book...if i didnt think someone would find me in the dirty section of barnes and noble and spread it around like wild fire. any good websites out there? maybe even this one lol

That is exactly what the internet is for. I don't know if you have a credit card, but if you do, hit www.bn.com and explore away. If you don't... maybe go to the library and if someone catches you, say you're doing research and wound up in the wrong section?

Another recommendation - www.scarleteen.com. It sounds as though you might have a lot more questions about sexuality than have shown up on this thread - that's a page that provides sex education specifically designed for young people in high school and college.

 

[Wolfman1982]

I've read some pretty ignorant stuff in my time at Lit, and this definitely ranks right up there with the best (worst?) of it. Sheesh. I sure hope you're not speaking from experience. At any rate, you're certainly clueless about the dynamics of an abusive relationship.

Though I have to admit that I find "peace of a whore" highly amusing for some reason.

Eilan, i am not talking out of personal experience at all ! I was just thinking. And I am so inexperienced That I have only slept with one girl, and that was not fucking, it was love.

And i am VERY inexperienced.

But I have heard stories, of many abusive relationships. And it ticks me off in a furious anger.
And I wish i could help the victims.

But one of the reasons some of the women went back was because the piece of a dirtbag did get them some satisfaction. And of course they said "I am sorry I love you" bla bla bla "I will make it up to you I swear on the bottom of my bottomless heart".

My English is not the best when I sometimes feel pressured, and sorry for my misspellings

It would have been worse if I said "I was a good old gay" when i ment "I was a good old guy". if I d
id not know the difference. But I do know the difference .

and peace = the latin Pax and piece is the correct word.

 

[BDisaster]

thanks rev for the website!