I couldn't help myself

[SeaCat]

I couldn't help myself today in work.

As many of you know I tend to be somewhat of a wise ass. I try to keep things light. Sometimes it backfires, like today.

Today I was dealing with the wife of a younger man. She was stretched thin because her husband was in due to a ruptured Appendix.

She came up to me and asked me how often people died on my floor. Obviously she was concerned about her husbands safety. I knew that but I just couldn't help myself. My Answer?

"Only once."

I got called into the supervsors office where she attempted to chew my ass out but she kept breaking into laughter. I was asked that I do watch what patients I joke with though.

Cat

 

[impressive]

Nice one.

 

[kiten69]

I couldn't help myself today in work.

As many of you know I tend to be somewhat of a wise ass. I try to keep things light. Sometimes it backfires, like today.

Today I was dealing with the wife of a younger man. She was stretched thin because her husband was in due to a ruptured Appendix.

She came up to me and asked me how often people died on my floor. Obviously she was concerned about her husbands safety. I knew that but I just couldn't help myself. My Answer?

"Only once."

I got called into the supervsors office where she attempted to chew my ass out but she kept breaking into laughter. I was asked that I do watch what patients I joke with though.

Cat

LMAO...shame on you!!!

 

[SlickTony]

Amazing. Someone actually said this.

 

[starrkers]

*snicker* you horrible horrible person!

 

[SeaCat]

Amazing. Someone actually said this.

I told you my sense of humor is bad.

Cat

 

[SeaCat]

*snicker* you horrible horrible person!

Hey, I'm well known for my off beat sense of humor.

One of the most common side effects of some of the treatments used on our floor is incontenance. (One of the reasons I keep several pairs of spare uniforms in my locker.) Quite often when a patient loses it they are upset about it. They are humiliated. I tell them that in our field we have a common comment about things like this. "Shit Happens."

Humor is an extremely important part of medicine and one that too many people forget about. (Yes I am a member of the Patch Adams Society.)

Recently we had a patient in who has a fairly rare disease. Her body produces way too much blood. (You never thought that could happen did you?) She came in through the E.R. complaining of headaches, ringing in her ears and tunneling vision.

I came into her room along with her M.D. and her R.N. Her Doc explained to her in his medical terms what she was suffering from but all she could see was the bag, tubing and needle the R.N. was carrying. She asked what they were for. (We actually had to bleed her, remove a pint of blood to try bringing her values back towards normal.) She asked what they were for.

The R.N. and the Doc just looked at each other so I stepped forward. My explanation made a bit more sense. I told her that her body was making more blood than she could use. It was filling her to the overflow mark but her body couldn't get rid of it. I told her the bag and needle set was our way of relieving the pressure. She relaxed a little and the unit of blood was drawn off.

The next morning we came back and again she looked at the bag and needle. This time I didn't give her a chance to ask. I just told her that we had a little problem. We had a sick vampire down the hall and she had more than enough blood so we were going to take some of hers to feed him. She chuckled and relaxed.

The next time we came in with the bag and needle she just looked at me and asked me if it was feeding time again.

It took some time to fully explain her condition but the doctor allowed me to help him. He seemed to like the way she responded to me.

When she left she faced the prospect of having a unit of blod drawn once a week. She told me this and commented that they must have transfered the Vampire to her doctors office.

Cat

 

[3113]

When she left she faced the prospect of having a unit of blod drawn once a week. She told me this and commented that they must have transfered the Vampire to her doctors office.

I have to ask...did they (can they?) make use of her blood? It seems to me that she'd, well, a tailor-made blood doner if her blood is okay but just excessive. Talk about making lemonade from lemons.....

 

[TE999]

Well, that last story really sucked (Bela Lugosi voice).

Another goodie from Cat's Story Bag.

LMAO.

 

[MagicaPractica]

I couldn't help myself today in work.

As many of you know I tend to be somewhat of a wise ass. I try to keep things light. Sometimes it backfires, like today.

Today I was dealing with the wife of a younger man. She was stretched thin because her husband was in due to a ruptured Appendix.

She came up to me and asked me how often people died on my floor. Obviously she was concerned about her husbands safety. I knew that but I just couldn't help myself. My Answer?

"Only once."

I got called into the supervsors office where she attempted to chew my ass out but she kept breaking into laughter. I was asked that I do watch what patients I joke with though.

Cat

I would say I'd laugh at that but not sure how I'd be if it were my husband.

 

[SeaCat]

I have to ask...did they (can they?) make use of her blood? It seems to me that she'd, well, a tailor-made blood doner if her blood is okay but just excessive. Talk about making lemonade from lemons.....

Honestly I don't know if they can make use of her blood. I'll have to ask.

Cat

 

[rgraham666]

Snicker. Cat you never fail to amuse.

I'll have to see if I can work that patient with the excess blood into one of my vampire stories.

But a pint a week is not enough. My vamps require about five a week.

 

[Guest]

Snicker. Cat you never fail to amuse.

I'll have to see if I can work that patient with the excess blood into one of my vampire stories.

But a pint a week is not enough. My vamps require about five a week.

And lots of sex.



Thanks, Cat - another great tale!

 

[arienette]

I love your stories. I was serious about hunting you down whenever I get to Florida.

 

[Liar]

Hah. A little bad humor never killed anyone.

(or maybe it has)

 

[Vermilion]

Sounds to me like the wife really needed a laugh tbh.

God, the number of times I've been in hospital - and I always appreciate when you see a glimpse of humour in the doctors and nurses. Seems like if they can joke with you, you can't be that sick.

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