I could really use some advice here.

[Netzach]

Oops, I didn't tell you about my quiescent HSV 1 which is a cold sore I had when I was 15 is a far cry from "I'm being treated for genital warts and told you point blank I don't have STD's."

I don't have a lot of patience with this.

I also don't have much patience with people who use suicide threat against people they're in new relationships with. Standing by your family when they're having a tough time or making a cry for help is one thing, putting that onto a near-stranger is not ok. Most actual attempts feature no cry for help anyway, they tend to be actions not ideations.

You know what else a lot of Dominants are? Hyper responsible people. I didn't even do professional pee-drinking with people who WANTED to after I told them there may be anti-rejection meds in my pee and I don't know how much. Everyone in NYC thought I was nuts for even disclosing, but I wanted them to know what I would want to know.

Her worries about never getting laid again can be allayed by her on her own time in her OWN damn therapy - and by dating other people open about their status. Which you'll never be able to do if you're not open about yours. This is, I think, someone who needs a relationship a LOT less than they need some solid self-work. Not your problem.

You can, and should - expect more. Stay safe.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Oops, I didn't tell you about my quiescent HSV 1 which is a cold sore I had when I was 15 is a far cry from "I'm being treated for genital warts and told you point blank I don't have STD's."

I don't have a lot of patience with this.

I also don't have much patience with people who use suicide threat against people they're in new relationships with. Standing by your family when they're having a tough time or making a cry for help is one thing, putting that onto a near-stranger is not ok. Most actual attempts feature no cry for help anyway, they tend to be actions not ideations.

You know what else a lot of Dominants are? Hyper responsible people. I didn't even do professional pee-drinking with people who WANTED to after I told them there may be anti-rejection meds in my pee and I don't know how much. Everyone in NYC thought I was nuts for even disclosing, but I wanted them to know what I would want to know.

Her worries about never getting laid again can be allayed by her on her own time in her OWN damn therapy - and by dating other people open about their status. Which you'll never be able to do if you're not open about yours. This is, I think, someone who needs a relationship a LOT less than they need some solid self-work. Not your problem.

You can, and should - expect more. Stay safe.

The bolded suggests that you are rather in a minority with your hyper-responsibility.

Other than that-- good points. I always get insight from your posts-- I bet I'm not the only one.

 

[Netzach]

The bolded suggests that you are rather in a minority with your hyper-responsibility.

True. Granted, I was also in a minority in identifying as Dominant pervert off the clock as well. There aren't really that many people who do in the grand scheme of things.

I'm a flake about a lot of things, unless they're one of those things I'm not a flake about.

 

[BiBunny]

Netz nearly always says what I think much more clearly and with far fewer words.

/ass-kissing

 

[midwestyankee]

Netz nearly always says what I think much more clearly and with far fewer words.

/ass-kissing

You can't fool me. That's not all you'd like to kiss.

 

[Ahlam]

Good luck to you, GalaxyGoat!
It's great that you got a taste of what you desire, even though it didn't end so well. I hope it won't discourage you from trying to get some more of that from someone who demonstrates more respect for the trust that is fundamental in any relationship worth a damn. (Was that awkwardly phrased? Probably.) If I were you, I wouldn't settle for anyone untrustworthy. You probably deserve better.

 

[daddieslittlegirl7]

Wow

I read your post and was completely irritated by the whole situation. As a practicing Domme online and in RL I am appalled by your Domme's actions. I have few observations on this subject.

First I'm sorry that this happened to you. This should have been a wonderful experience.

1. A sub should be nurtured and trained with a firm hand. At no point should a Domme ever put their subs health at risk.

2. A sub no matter how obedient, owes it to themselves to protect their health. In this day as you see you can never be too careful. In reality this in not the worst thing she could have had....... USE PROTECTION WITH EVERYONE!!!

3. As for the suicide play, it has been my experience that if they really intend to do it they don't announce it. That's a mind game of a sick person.

4. Not ever person that claims to be a Domme should be, shit like this makes us all look bad. It appears that yours has some mental issues she should be attending to.

Now that being said, I understand your feelings for your Domme, I have been there and it was wonderful. I was lucky though I had the best DOM in the world.

Unless this mental abuse is what gets you off..... RUN and RUN fast, don't look back. Get yourself checked. Seek out a Domme that will fulfill you all of your desires as a sub. Good luck.


DommeMarie

 

[Stella_Omega]

I simply adore people who tell other people what they should be, should do, should have done.

 

[Ropebunny]

This is a tricky situation.

I myself sit on the side of 'we all make mistakes sometimes and act like a massive douche coz we feel vulnerable and scared of rejection'.

I do think this woman does sound mentally unstable and would greatly benefit from some professional help, whether or not the OP decided to re-enter a relationship with her and I wonder if the you might be a good person to speak with her in regards to this GalaxyGoat, as you two have been intimate in the past.

If it were me, I wouldn't give a person like this a second chance until they were getting regular professional help. There would only be a second chance, no third and I would expect full and open communication, with the assurance of both parties that no outright rejection will occur when this happens.


In whatever path you do decide to take GalaxyGoat I wish you well and hope that either way, you and your ex get on with your lives and find happiness. You both deserve it.

I simply adore people who tell other people what they should be, should do, should have done.

As do I.

And don't you just love it when, in an attempt to show how them how it feels, you tell them what to do and they then act like the sun shines out of your ass.

Now I avoid people like that like the plague. They tend to think I'm being negative *snort* so it's for their own good.

 

[Stella_Omega]

This is a tricky situation.

I myself sit on the side of 'we all make mistakes sometimes and act like a massive douche coz we feel vulnerable and scared of rejection'.

I do think this woman does sound mentally unstable and would greatly benefit from some professional help, whether or not the OP decided to re-enter a relationship with her and I wonder if the you might be a good person to speak with her in regards to this GalaxyGoat, as you two have been intimate in the past.

If it were me, I wouldn't give a person like this a second chance until they were getting regular professional help. There would only be a second chance, no third and I would expect full and open communication, with the assurance of both parties that no outright rejection will occur when this happens.


In whatever path you do decide to take GalaxyGoat I wish you well and hope that either way, you and your ex get on with your lives and find happiness. You both deserve it.




As do I.

And don't you just love it when, in an attempt to show how them how it feels, you tell them what to do and they then act like the sun shines out of your ass.

Now I avoid people like that like the plague. They tend to think I'm being negative *snort* so it's for their own good.

As you should.

*see what I did there

 

[Bramblethorn]

This is a tricky situation.

I myself sit on the side of 'we all make mistakes sometimes and act like a massive douche coz we feel vulnerable and scared of rejection'.

...

If it were me, I wouldn't give a person like this a second chance until they were getting regular professional help.

Yup, same. If it were me, I'd probably be saying "I can't have a relationship with you until I have good reason to believe this isn't going to happen again." But that's not a matter of "you're a sucky person", it's "I'm not prepared to deal with that sort of behaviour".

 

[Dyslexicea]

One of the big questions is, what else is she not being honest about? Maybe she's got HIV.

It doesn't appear to me this was GalaxyGoat's first relationship and he didn't use protection, nor did he say he'd been tested for STDs. Maybe he does ask his partners if they're STD free, no need for protection just ask, what a wonderful world all we have to do is ASK, just freaken brilliant. So I guess he may have infected her with something much worse than the papyloma virus. I don't think you can hold him blameless. Stupid yes, blameless no.

 

[Belvino]

I am going to have to say that I agree with the majority of people on here. Do not go back to her. Go and get tested and keep that paperwork with you, if you meet someone else exchange paperwork. If they can't give it to you then you don't belong with them. You don't want to contract something horrible that may kill you, or significantly impact your quality of life, especially your sexual lifestyle. Hopefully you're okay and I wish you the best of luck in the future!

 

[Stella_Omega]

I am going to have to say that I agree with the majority of people on here. Do not go back to her. Go and get tested and keep that paperwork with you, if you meet someone else exchange paperwork.

How is that working for you?

 

[GalaxyGoat]

Sorry it's taken me so long to reply, I had to switch internet services and I was with out the internet for awhile. I really appreciate all your advice, it's almost all quite insightful.
I would like to clear some stuff up: I get checked for all STD's after every sexual encounter I have (I live in Canada so it's free!). I got checked after this one and I was clean. The thing is there is no way to test for HPV in men. It can go away in 2 years but it might not and because I can't get tested for it I'll never know. All I can do is tell anyone I'm with in the future that I had sexual relations with a girl who had HPV and I might be infected. I mean, I don't actually like sex and I told her that. We had sex for her sake and although we almost always used protection there was one time where we did not (but she was on the pill, which was the thing I was worried about, not getting an STD from soemone who said she was STD free). But HPV can be passed orally and we made out, gave eachother oral, I licked her ass out and we shared dildos. I mean I don't really see how it's my fault for trusting her. Maybe it is though, I generally believe in the goodness of people. I don't know how I could live in a world where everyone lies about their STD's with their partners. If someone says they are clean I'm going to trust them. I'm a trusting person, I mean I am a full out sub, I WANT to trust in people.

I mean it's fine to say that she was afraid of rejection but now I"M afraid of rejection (but I won't lie about it). I know she has depression and anxiety, but I do as well (hurray for zoloft!). I've also studied psychology and I feel like I'm a sympathetic person, perhaps to my own undoing. I realized she had problems from the get go. A lot of those problems we shared though, we both had parents with anger issues, lived fairly isolated lives growing up in the country, used movies and video games as a form of escape, have tendencies to hermit up. I mean I could ask her to see a psychologist but I'd feel like a huge hypocrite because I won't go see one. The biggest difference between us was that I stuff all my issues and feelings deep down inside of me in a really self destructive way and she tends to react outwardly (and her issues are...alot stronger then mine, but still similar and, for me, very understandable).

She can be a narcissist at times, she does sometimes forget to think about others, but then other times she can be really sweet. When we started dating she said "I tend to walk over people but I'm trying to change that". And I think she was, it was kind of strange, she would be pretty self centered at times and then I think she would "remember" that "oh yeah, other people matter too". So yeah, she has a lot of issues but she did recognize them in herself and was trying to better herself. I feel like I want to help her but I also know I want to help everyone and I usually don't really think about my own well being. So while I understand her issues and realize she is working on it I know that it will be a long road for her and it would be hard on me mentally. I mean now that I'm thinking about it she would sometimes say hurtful things and I would just feel like "why would you say that?" But of course I wouldn't say anything because my defense mechanism is to clam up and just take the abuse silently (which I realize is also not healthy).

Luckily this WASN"T my first taste of being dominated. I experimented with a guy for a little bit but it wasn't a serious relationship, it was just for fun. I am glad I had the sexual experience I had with her. It was an eye opener and I know (after also having some very unsatisfying "regular" relationships) that I think I can be happy in a good S/M relationship. And I'm not really worried about finding another Domme, I don't seem to have trouble attracting them (I'm lucky enough to be prettier then a sack of potatoes and am funny enough to do stand up and write comics).

After this breakup I actually did move cities. I wasn't just because of that, I had been pretty unhappy in that city for awhile, but it was definitely the "last straw". I think I'm going to see where I'm at in a year or 2 and then maybe contact her again and she if she has matured because we did share a lot (and not just sexual stuff).

 

[chocolatecookie3]

@GalaxyGoat Wow. Thanks for the clarification.

I hope in a year or two you won't even remember this girl's name! I understand you had a lot in common with her, but really your story is not that unusual (depressive, hermit, submissive). You will find a lot of people you can connect with. Now that you are in a new place, you have the chance to start new and find a good relationship. I revise my previous advice of getting back together with her. Go out and find someone else! Take your time with the sex and submission part and make sure you are ready to trust the person.

The checking for STDs after every encounter seems extreme to me, but if you don't like sex, maybe that is only a few times a year. I would say annually or biannually--some things take a while to show up. Stop being a drain on the healthcare system! (j/k)

PS I'd like to verify this "prettier than a sack of potatoes"

 

[GalaxyGoat]

PS I'd like to verify this "prettier than a sack of potatoes"

Here you go!

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_dSiHiTaO4Xg/TORz_UQ63iI/AAAAAAAAADE/wM-v0XITDWI/s1600/P1050514.JPG

 

[Loverskitten]

Here you go!

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_dSiHiTaO4Xg/TORz_UQ63iI/AAAAAAAAADE/wM-v0XITDWI/s1600/P1050514.JPG

Ummmmm potatoes, onions.... Not the same. Lawdy! WTF? Are potatoes pretty? Are onions? Where are you people from? Again, WTF?

Excuse my grammar. From where, are you people? Lol

 

[GalaxyGoat]

Aw man, I should of used a bag of sweet potatoes. That would of made more sense. Aw wells.

 

[Ramrod325]

One of the big questions is, what else is she not being honest about? Maybe she's got HIV. She's a whacko if she mentioned suicide. Sounds like one of those loser guys telling a woman that if she dumps him he's going to kill himself. I like the idea of changing your name and moving to another state. Maybe even another country. If you can't do that then stay as far away from her as you can. Chalk this up to a learning experience and say a few prayers that you don't come down with something.

And trust us all, subwannabe speaks from personal experience. Tell them about the jungle rot you picked up last year subwannabe.

 

[subwannabe]

How'd you know I was in the jungle? Actually, it was the tropical rainforest. It was a bitch getting out of the country. Had to live with the apes for a while.

 

[GalaxyGoat]

How'd you know I was in the jungle? Actually, it was the tropical rainforest. It was a bitch getting out of the country. Had to live with the apes for a while.

Yah, apes never tell the truth about their sexual history.

 

[dougsan]

If she lacks empathy run like hell. If, as I believe, she is really emotionally fucked up because of her STD then put on a rubber glove, take her hand and find a group for help. There are lots of them associated with HIV and other STD's.

Think for a moment of her emotional state. She is a reject (in her mind). She feels useless, to some degree. The lonliness and desperation these can lead to is a VERY dark hole. What would it cost you to help her see her way out?