I can't stop thinking about her...

[kdiamonds]

For about a year now, I've known that I am attracted to women. I figured it out when I realized I was paying more attention to the women in porn then the men. Then I started reading lesbian lit every once in a while. Since then, my attraction has grown and now I look at girls about the same amount that I look at guys. All the same, I've never felt attracted to a women in person before.

Until last night that is.

My 2 friends and I always get together and watch a movie and drink on thursdays. Last night, when I went to pick up one of them, I was amazed at how good she looked! Something about her hair last night, and the way her eye makeup was so smoldering, and she smelled so good! Oh and her clothes, my god! She was just in jeans and a tee shirt, but that teeshirt was SO TIGHT! She looked the same as she always has, but it was like I'd never seen her before at all.

On the couch, I wanted so badly to sit closer to her. I wanted to smell her, feel her body's warmth next to mine. When we were all 3 a little tipsy they started attacking me with tickles and when I reached out to grab her hands and stop her, it took all I had not to pin her to the ground and kiss her. Her lips are so large and kissable, and last night they were covered in lipgloss that looked so tasty!

Now I can't stop thinking about her!!! I came home last night and searched the Literotica stories for ones with her name. I came twice before I forced myself to go to bed. We had class together this morning, and she was her usual self. She looked so beautiful and when she laughed, oh my god! Now I'm at work for a another 30 minutes and all but 1 person is gone, and I wish like hell she were here with me!

I can't believe this! I've never felt this way for a woman before. I can't believe I'm feeling these things so strongly, let alone for one of my very best friends! I know she has no idea, and she'd be so freaked out if she knew. But the more I try to tell myself these things, the more I think about her hair, and her eyes, and her full luscious breasts, and what she must be hiding under those low rise jeans she's always wearing.

AAAAAA! I just HAD to get this off my chest... I just HAD to tell someone!

 

[dave's thing]

Well I'm glad that you did get off your chest.... its the beginning of letting yourself go THE WAY YOU WANT to go.
Now I'm a guy saying this so take it accordingly and I don't know you or your friend but, from what I have experienced and what I have read here in the LIT forums, you might be surprised by how your friend might react if you had kissed her as you wanted. Of course timing is every thing but by the same token you can't get hung up on the timing issue either... maybe you outta just let go and see where it goes!
Having said that I'm a blunt kinda person so maybe you should ask some of the more "a tuned" women that are around here for advice.

 

[KokopelliRises]

I think that as long as both of you are relatively unentangled at the moment, no harm will come of you just trying one kiss on her. Just to see how she reacts. Heck, I think it would be fun. But that's me.

 

[kdiamonds]

I wish I could say you guys are right. But I've known this girl for a few years, and she's never kept it a secret that she thinks homosexuality is "disgusting." The idea of a friend liking another friend came up once in conversation and she basically said that if she ever found out a friend liked her, she'd be so freaked out she probably wouldn't be friends with them.

So... I guess my first actual girl crush will just have to stay a crush. Damn

 

[lovelikking]

hey kd,

yeah, if she thinks that homosexuals are disgusting then she's probably not going to want to play with you. however, you can always keep her as your crush and find someone else to actually get physical with. you can even fantasize about her while you're playing with another woman.

for me, there are two issues.

one, you have this crush.

two, you're finding yourself attracted to women.

you MIGHT be able to find one person to satisfy your desires. but, it seems that the one person you're focusing on right now isn't up for it. so, find another woman to play with. i highly recommend it. my first time (and quite a few afterwards) with another woman were amazing. better than i thought they'd be. truly. there is nothing like being with another woman. being with a guy is my 'meat and potatoes' but being with another woman is my 'dessert'.

enjoy!

 

[theedebster]

Hi KD

I wish I could say you guys are right. But I've known this girl for a few years, and she's never kept it a secret that she thinks homosexuality is "disgusting." The idea of a friend liking another friend came up once in conversation and she basically said that if she ever found out a friend liked her, she'd be so freaked out she probably wouldn't be friends with them.

So... I guess my first actual girl crush will just have to stay a crush. Damn

Maybe you should cast your fishing net in another fishinghole, no pun intended. I don't think I come across as a latent bisexual, and from all outward appearances I think I appear very conservative. But I was at a lecture, many years sgo, primarily attended by women, and afterwards one of the speakers sought me out and struck up a conversation. She later gave me a lift to my car and asked if she could kiss me good night. I said yes expecting a rather innocent peck on the cheek. However, she kissed me full on the mouth, open-mouthed, and flicked her tongue at me. She asked me if I liked it and I was kind of surprised, dumbfounded, excited, all of the above. Later she told me that she had a feeling I wasn't as conservative as I looked. So maybe there is someone else in your immediate circle that could satisfy your "needs?"