i cannot finish

[shavedcock&bals]

first of all me and my girlfriend have great sex. the problem is sometimes i cannot cum. she loves when i do cum as well as i. we had sex last night sunday night, i came. this morning monday morning, i was unable to cum for her. and we were both disappointed. she thinks its her fault that she isn't tight enough, she is tight and and i think its me. i don't know what to do.

any suggestions

 

[ZoeBird]

My husband has a hard time cumming in the morning, unless he has been awake awhile (an hour at least). If we wake up and then have sex immediately, forget it - there is no way he will cum. And trust me, he doesn't have a problem of not being able to cum! In fact, it's usually the opposite - trying to make him last long enough for me to orgasm a few times before he cums. It's just that hour or so after he wakes up. Maybe it's a common thing. How long after waking up are you having the frustrating experience?

 

[culloden]

How old are you?

As I've hit middle age (47), that's begun to happen to me once a month or so. I'm sure alcohol consumption doesn't help, and we frequently split a bottle of wine before sex.

Another factor is how often we're having sex. Often, if we fuck on say, Saturday night, I can't cum again Sunday morning, although I still get hard.

On the other hand, it's still fun, and the longer I last, the better it is for my wife. I don't see it as a big deal, as there have been many times when she didn't cum and I did. In fact, I probably owe a big karmic debt for all the girlfriends I had when I was younger and clueless about how to make a woman orgasm.

 

[SweetErika]

How old are you?

A post in April says he's 24.

SC&B, you could be having trouble periodically for all sorts of reasons. If you masturbate and look at porn a lot, you may be a little too used to your own grip (which is likely tighter than a pussy), the visual and mental stimulation of porn, or your own routine. If you think this could be contributing to the problem, try mixing it up and even holding off on masturbation when you're having plenty of sex (or just use masturbation to tease yourself, so you're ready to go when you have sex). Maybe stick to fantasy (vs. porn), lighten your strokes, masturbate with a condom on, use extra water-based lube, etc.

Also, when you're having sex, make sure your mind is involved. Conjure up the fantasies/images that really turn you on, look at your partner, don't worry about coming too soon and relax. If you start to have trouble coming, take a short break from the stimulation (you can use this time to please her) and then resume once your nerves have had time to "reset." It might take a few short breaks or times changing what you're doing, but you'll likely get there.

Are you on any medications or a drug or alcohol user? If so, you'll want to think about whether they might be impacting your sex life.

Reassure your gf that this is YOUR problem and has nothing to do with her or her vagina. Tell her you're trying some new things because this is probably just a result of getting too used to yourself, and you don't need to come every time to enjoy sex.

 

[Seamus123]

Could it be something psychological? I'm going through something similar with my girlfriend at the moment and I'm sure it's the various neuroses in my silly annoying head that's causing it. So perhaps identifying what could be causing that, mentally, could help.

 

[Jack_Slade]

This might have something to do with the amount of semen you produce. I've had problems with this on and off for a long time.

This first started when I was married to my first wife, and we were trying to make a baby. We got the 'bright' Idea that if we fucked several times a day when she was ovulating that she would get pregnant. I started getting into what I called a "Rut" where it seemed like I'd screw forever, but I couldn't come. It didn't happen all the time just occasionally.

Years later after I got a divorce, I met a girl at work, and we started dating. she had a oral fixation and she would spend hours blowing me. I had trouble cuming right away, she loved the taste of semen, and she milk it out of me, to the point that there wasn't enough to carry my sperm when I came. I'd have the feeling of an orgasm, but she never got the mouthful that she wanted.

This went on for a couple of weeks, and we tried all different kinds of things, I even tried jacking off for her, but nothing worked. I don't know if I just associated with her, but I never had a "Normal" orgasm with that woman. The sad part about the whole thing is I probably would have married her if I had never had the problem.

It's happened a few times after that, I usually find that if I don't cum in the first five minutes, I'll have a problem. I don't know if I just produce a lot of semen, I've never really talked about this "problem" before, but I wanted to throw in my 2 Cents worth on this topic.

 

[SweetErika]

This might have something to do with the amount of semen you produce. I've had problems with this on and off for a long time.

This first started when I was married to my first wife, and we were trying to make a baby. We got the 'bright' Idea that if we fucked several times a day when she was ovulating that she would get pregnant. I started getting into what I called a "Rut" where it seemed like I'd screw forever, but I couldn't come. It didn't happen all the time just occasionally.

Years later after I got a divorce, I met a girl at work, and we started dating. she had a oral fixation and she would spend hours blowing me. I had trouble cuming right away, she loved the taste of semen, and she milk it out of me, to the point that there wasn't enough to carry my sperm when I came. I'd have the feeling of an orgasm, but she never got the mouthful that she wanted.

This went on for a couple of weeks, and we tried all different kinds of things, I even tried jacking off for her, but nothing worked. I don't know if I just associated with her, but I never had a "Normal" orgasm with that woman. The sad part about the whole thing is I probably would have married her if I had never had the problem.

It's happened a few times after that, I usually find that if I don't cum in the first five minutes, I'll have a problem. I don't know if I just produce a lot of semen, I've never really talked about this "problem" before, but I wanted to throw in my 2 Cents worth on this topic.

Rest assured, your inability to come has nothing to do with the amount of semen you produce. Orgasm and ejaculation are even two different things, and while they usually happen together, they don't have to occur almost simultaneously.

It sounds like your problem is mental. It probably started when you were trying to conceive and your worrying about it turned it into a self-fulfilling prophecy. Add in some desensitization and tenseness after five minutes of stimulation, and there you go.

 

[shavedcock&bals]

thanks for the replies.

i used to masterbate alot before i moved in with my girlfriend, so maybe i did get used to my own grip, i didn't even think of that. i don't masterbate nearly as often as i used to now.

i do like to drink and we both know i cannot cum if i have had to much to drink, but we still have great sex, which i think is more important. but we are aware of that fact. we have good communication with each other.