I can lick my own balls

[mynameisben]

I had nothing better to do yesterday. So, I sat in the middle of the floor, leaned over, and started licking my own cock. Thank god I can reach it! Me and my dick. Yummy, yummy. Long, slow, languishing licks from base to tip. I was soon stiff as a board and really getting into it. Minutes passed. Or was it hours? Heck, I didn't care. I was feeling good and I had no sense of time whatsoever.

Then, my most basal animal instincts kicked in. I hunched over really deep, and I discovered I could reach my own balls! Woo hoo! Lick, lick, lick. Nibble, nibble. Ahhhhhhhh! My eyes rolled back in my head. My cock thumped hot against my face, my quivering meat occasionally poking me in the eye. The whole damn afternoon slipped away in a scintillating, golden haze. My balls! My balls! Slurrrp! Slurrrp! Ah, ahhh, Ahhhhhhhh!

I was lost. I was soaring somewhere between Neptune and the Oort cloud. I have pretty good hearing, but I somehow never heard the rattle of keys, nor the front door when it swung open. I did hear the loud thump when the wife came in and dropped her purse and keys on the hardwood floor.

"What the fuck are you doing!?" she screamed at me. I lifted my face out of my crotch and I froze as panic gripped me. I had the look of a man caught red-handed, with nowhere to run and nowhere to hide.

"You filthy, disgusting. . . animal!"

I crouched there in silence. Words abandoned me, utterly.

"Get out! Just get the hell out of here!" she screamed at me again. Then she ran up to kick my dumb ass. The next thing I knew I was out in the yard, naked, with that big plastic cone around my neck that we got from the vet. Again.


Sincerely,

Ben's dog, Chip

 

[SweetMaj]

I had nothing better to do yesterday. So, I sat in the middle of the floor, leaned over, and started licking my own cock. Thank god I can reach it! Me and my dick. Yummy, yummy. Long, slow, languishing licks from base to tip. I was soon stiff as a board and really getting into it. Minutes passed. Or was it hours? Heck, I didn't care. I was feeling good and I had no sense of time whatsoever.

Then, my most basal animal instincts kicked in. I hunched over really deep, and I discovered I could reach my own balls! Woo hoo! Lick, lick, lick. Nibble, nibble. Ahhhhhhhh! My eyes rolled back in my head. My cock thumped hot against my face, my quivering meat occasionally poking me in the eye. The whole damn afternoon slipped away in a scintillating, golden haze. My balls! My balls! Slurrrp! Slurrrp! Ah, ahhh, Ahhhhhhhh!

I was lost. I was soaring somewhere between Neptune and the Oort cloud. I have pretty good hearing, but I somehow never heard the rattle of keys, nor the front door when it swung open. I did hear the loud thump when the wife came in and dropped her purse and keys on the hardwood floor.

"What the fuck are you doing!?" she screamed at me. I lifted my face out of my crotch and I froze as panic gripped me. I had the look of a man caught red-handed, with nowhere to run and nowhere to hide.

"You filthy, disgusting. . . animal!"

I crouched there in silence. Words abandoned me, utterly.

"Get out! Just get the hell out of here!" she screamed at me again. Then she ran up to kick my dumb ass. The next thing I knew I was out in the yard, naked, with that big plastic cone around my neck that we got from the vet. Again.


Sincerely,

Ben's dog, Chip

You really had me fooled for a minute, Ben.

 

[mynameisben]

You really had me fooled for a minute, Ben.

I was just as surprised as you were, Maj. I should never have given that damn dog my login id.

 

[SweetMaj]

I was just as surprised as you were, Maj. I should never have given that damn dog my login id.

Maybe you shouldn't have. I would never dream of giving my cat my login id.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Maybe you shoulden't have. I would never dream of giving my cat my login id.

Cats wouldn't write about sex. They would write about food.

Foooood.... the world is made of love and love is made of food, and food is made of love. If you're a cat.

 

[SweetMaj]

Cats wouldn't write about sex. They would write about food.

Foooood.... the world is made of love and love is made of food, and food is made of love. If you're a cat.

You're right, Stella.

I just asked her, and she was quite insulted.

I could see she was thinking, "How could my mother think of me in that way?". "Can I have
a fish, or two?".

 

[Stella_Omega]

You're right, Stella.

I just asked her, and she was quite insulted.

I could see she was thinking, "How could my mother think of me in that way?". "Can I have
a fish, or two?".

Cats are oddly asexual. We do a neuter and release program-- the toms are actually, actively, demonstratively happy to lose their balls. You don't see a huge difference in dogs before and after-- but toms? They smile (cats smile with their whiskers), purr, start making friends with all the other cats. The spayed ladies welcome them. They don't have to startle at every sound. They play like kittens. They'll attach themselves to a human-- like ankle velcro-- for weeks after, demanding attention, laps, eating out of human plates-- good luck with that-- a huge world opens up to them!

Before anyone asks-- no, I do NOT think human males would have the same reaction. Dogs don't have that reaction. Only felis domesticus.

 

[SweetMaj]

Cats are oddly asexual. We do a neuter and release program-- the toms are actually, actively, demonstratively happy to lose their balls. You don't see a huge difference in dogs before and after-- but toms? They smile (cats smile with their whiskers), purr, start making friends with all the other cats. The spayed ladies welcome them. They don't have to startle at every sound. They play like kittens. They'll attach themselves to a human-- like ankle velcro-- for weeks after, demanding attention, laps, eating out of human plates-- good luck with that-- a huge world opens up to them!

Before anyone asks-- no, I do NOT think human males would have the same reaction. Dogs don't have that reaction. Only felis domesticus.

This is intersting !!!

I diden't know cats smiled with their whiskers, though I read a lot about them before I
got MIS (that's what I call her).

She is a house cat. Black, with white chest, white socks, and a little white bliss between the eyes.

I'm surprised what she can accomplish. I have a large corridor. Every morning when coffee is
ready, and I carry it through the corridor to the living room, she makes sure that she is noticed.

ZOOM...she is through the corridor like a flash.

I don't know if she is teasing me, or she sees me as a prey. But it makes me smile.

I got her from a home for cats without owners. I've had her for six years now.

She have a personality of her own - I adore that cat!

Before her, I had a dog. It's two diffrent worlds!

 

[PurrfectMoon]

about cats..

Ha, leave it to women to make a thread all about pussy.

Your story made me laugh.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Ha, leave it to women to make a thread all about pussy.

Your story made me laugh.

Don't get me wrong. I love dogs--but EVERYTHING is about pussy. I feel about pussy the way cats feel about food-- and dogs feel about licking their balls.

 

[LettersFromTatyana]

Cats are oddly asexual. We do a neuter and release program-- the toms are actually, actively, demonstratively happy to lose their balls. You don't see a huge difference in dogs before and after-- but toms? They smile (cats smile with their whiskers), purr, start making friends with all the other cats. The spayed ladies welcome them. They don't have to startle at every sound. They play like kittens. They'll attach themselves to a human-- like ankle velcro-- for weeks after, demanding attention, laps, eating out of human plates-- good luck with that-- a huge world opens up to them!

Before anyone asks-- no, I do NOT think human males would have the same reaction. Dogs don't have that reaction. Only felis domesticus.

Rabbits are also miserable before they're fixed, and pleased as punch afterwards. The males are super aggressive and territorial and they piss everywhere (usually rabbits are housebroken); mine was unable to snuggle with me without humping every part of my body he could reach. The females are constantly in heat and unsatisfied; they run in circles around you until they collapse in an exhausted heap, and then they start again.

After a little snippy snip, they become well-adjusted, happy little bunnies.

 

[TE999]

From what I've read, eunuchs were usually sunny natured.

 

[driphoney]

Oh God, Ben. That was funny.

Even funnier since I just got back from happy hour with a friend.

(No, it was really cute.)

 

[Stella_Omega]

From what I've read, eunuchs were usually sunny natured.

And harem women were sweet, innocent, and demure, right?

 

[mynameisben]

Oh God, Ben. That was funny.

Even funnier since I just got back from happy hour with a friend.

(No, it was really cute.)

Thanks, Honey. Now I feel titivated!

(even tho it was my dog who wrote it)

 

[kimbalee]

Wow, Ben, your dog is quite talented.

(I mean with the writing, typing, etc... not so much with the ball licking. I may have formed a different opinion had I seen his technique though. lol )

 

[Zeb_Carter]

Two guys are walking down the street when they see a dog stop and start licking his balls.

"Gee, I wish I could do that," says one.

"Well, if you pet him a little he might let you," the other says.

 

[TE999]

And harem women were sweet, innocent, and demure, right?

They weren't?

 

[TE999]

Two guys are walking down the street when they see a dog stop and start licking his balls.

"Gee, I wish I could do that," says one.

"Well, if you pet him a little he might let you," the other says.

A woman visits a Psychiatrist and says "Doctor, you have to examine my husband. He thinks he's a Labrador Retriever."

"Bring him around and I'll have a look at him," says the Psychiatrist.

A week later he sees the woman on the street and says "You never brought your husband to see me. How is he doing?"

"He's dead," says the woman sadly.

"Oh that's terrible, how did he die?"

"He was licking his balls when he fell off the couch and broke his neck."

 

[JackLuis]

Is today Animal Day?

Cats, Dogs, Turtles and Sharks, I thought this was a Porn site?

But it was cute Ben.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Is today Animal Day?

Cats, Dogs, Turtles and Sharks, I thought this was a Porn site?

But it was cute Ben.

And the news articles you bring to the site are erotic how?