I attended another funeral today and listened to another eulegy filled with puffery.

[FlamingoBlue]

Imagine if they had a law requiring truth in eulogies? You sit there and hear all those wonderful platitudes that everyone there knows is bullshit. You nod your head along with the others and you get together later to
listen to more lies about the "wonderful" person who died and his/her relationships with friends and family. But, if you listen closely, you may also hear the truth spoken, but only rarely so. The picture that is painted of the deceased is often as phoney as the makeup on the corpse.

My kids were at the funeral today. I told them that I wanted them to speak truthfully about me at my funeral and to have a blow-out party, afterwards. My daughter said she would, and so did my son. I can only hope that when I die they will still care about me as they do now. I will do my part to keep up my end of the deal by caring for them with loving kindness. Then, they won't have to lie about me .

blue

 

[Nicole]

My kids were at the funeral today. I told them that I wanted them to speak truthfully about me at my funeral and to have a blow-out party, afterwards. My daughter said she would, and so did my son. I can only hope that when I die they will still care about me as they do now. I will do my part to keep up my end of the deal by caring for them with loving kindness. Then, they won't have to lie about me.

Me too. I'm sorry you had to go through that today. I would only ever speak the truth about my Parents, because they have been the most wonderful Parents of all time.

Blue, you sound a very loved and loving man. I am sure that when your time comes in many years, your Kids will speak the truth and make you very proud of them, in fact, maybe even as proud as you are now.

((((((((((((BLUE)))))))))))))

 

[FlamingoBlue]

Nichole....

You are so very sweet.

fondly,

blue

 

[Purple Haze]

Yeah I know what you mean, every time I attend a funeral of a person I don't like, I wish somebody would blast 'em. I guess that's why everybody else is there, because they don't like him either.

I feel so proud I'm not as phoney as make-up on the corpse.

How sweet.

 

[Nicole]

I'm sweet to you Blue, because you are someone that is truthful, honest and Caring.

Please don't you ever change that ((((((((((BLUE)))))))))

 

[Temptress_1960]

I think the worst is when you hear a eulogy given by a minister who never met the person... It's very sad when the family insists on have clergy, but none have ever really gone to church. Seems pointless, like those who insist on getting married in church, but never go there any other time.
If church is not important enough for you to attend at other times, why bother for weddings and funerals?

Certainly other places and other people officiating would be more meaningful to them.

 

[Chuckus]

Imagine if they had a law requiring truth in eulogies? You sit there and hear all those wonderful platitudes that everyone there knows is bullshit. You nod your head along with the others and you get together later to
listen to more lies about the "wonderful" person who died and his/her relationships with friends and family. But, if you listen closely, you may also hear the truth spoken, but only rarely so. The picture that is painted of the deceased is often as phoney as the makeup on the corpse.

My kids were at the funeral today. I told them that I wanted them to speak truthfully about me at my funeral and to have a blow-out party, afterwards. My daughter said she would, and so did my son. I can only hope that when I die they will still care about me as they do now. I will do my part to keep up my end of the deal by caring for them with loving kindness. Then, they won't have to lie about me .

blue

Blue, I am sure when and IF the time comes your children will speak the truth about you and they will do what I would do IF and WHEN my parents die, tell them about all the happines and joy the brought me, along with the butt whippings and fun times we shared. What great parents they are.........as for the party afterwards, I feel the same way. You should celebrate their life and their accomplishments, not just mourn their death. That is my wish and all my family know it, I want a BIG ole Keg Party and a live Band playing all my favorite tunes......

 

[teresafannin]

I want the same thing from my friends and family when I die. When I was planning the services for my son, I told the ministers at our church what I wanted them to do & say. We are members there, although not active. They were gracious enough to let Justin's friends & family do the speaking & the music. The only thing the ministers did was to lead 2 prayers. As many tears as there were, there was also laughter as Justin's friends told some of the goofy things he had done. Afterwards, all of our friends said it was the best service they had ever attended. We kept the focus on Justin, not the church, not religion. I was very lucky in that the staff at the church gave us their complete cooperation, not everyone will do that.

 

[Isabella Thorne]

<big hugs Blue darling>
whewwww ... actually I am still trying to recover from your email ... <fanning myself frantically> ... yikes darling ...

i don't know ... funerals bring comfort to family ... even though i don't like to hear downright lies about the deceased ... i can understand if they are spoken about in a kind diplomatic way ... and to mention only the good things they did in life (even though we all do bad things too from time to time)

Why slag the dead?

(Unless of course they were someone like Joan Crawford or Bing Crosby or some other child abuser hiding their atrocities behind their goody-goody image and power.)
________________________
Joan Crawford has risen from the grave.
~Blue Oyster Cult~

 

[Silverlily]

At my maternal grandmother's funeral, the minister did take the truthful route, a little too truthful. She had died from mouth and throat cancer and the minister proceeded to tell us in detail everything she had suffered through.

I can only assume he was trying to show how "God, the loving father" got her through this ordeal. Personally, I wanted to punch him, but my father wouldn't let me.

 

[CreamyLady]

Truth at funerals is a hard thing. Those who could speak the truth sometimes don't, because there is usually someone there who can't handle it. Would it be a kindness, really, to batter the bereaved with the truly awful things the deceased has done?

Particularly when they are well aware of them, have all kinds of conflicted feelings (love, hate, sorrow, anger, bitterness), and are barely holding on to any kind of composure. Some truths are just too harsh for a public airing.

I told WitchsKat that I want a simple cremation and for her to have a party, too. A big one. Find a suitable spot for my ashes (we are thinking a live volcano), and just get on with living.

Could anything be more fun than being part of an erupting volcano?

 

[Cheri]

Blue you do realize most of the lies come from wanting to comfort the family as Isabella said and also from guilt cause funerals are for the living, not the dead. I know when someone I know dies I am suddenly hit with all the things I should have done for that person...visited more...called more...shown more concern for their well-being and happiness and so on and so forth. Besides even assholes usually have some nice things they've done over the years.

I went to a funeral a few years ago that allowed everybody time to tell any stories they wanted to relate about the deceased. Unfortunately not many people commented cause I though that was a great idea to vocalize their griving process.

 

[Nobody Special]

Well I was taught that Funerals were not for the deceased, but for the living, as a part of healling.. and that you should show your respect for the person that died.. well that is my point of view. and one thing that I do regret is being forced to go to my Uncle's funeral. I didn't respect him and he disowned me before I was born. But not only was I forced to go to the funeral but then I got one of the possitions of Honor as being a Poll Berer for him and theere was nothing more that I wanted to do but to drop the ass on his head as I carried him to the car.. and all that I heard from every one there was how nice and goodmannered and what he did for every one in the community from all of my cusins, step brothers and sisters, and all the memories that I have of him and his twin Brother (my father) were dirty drunk men that didn't know what a bar of soap was and couldn't live with out the beer and wisky that they both were drinking 24/7.

Don't get me Wrong, I love and respect my father,but I don't respect what he was. And I don't respect his siblings and many of his step children.

E

 

[Comshaw]

Try reading Orson Scot Card's "Speaker for the Dead".
As for me. I don't want a funeral when I past. A party, some remembering among my friends and family that's it. Besides such things aren't for those in the box, it's for those still living. I told my family if it helps you to get on with life, DO IT! I'll be worm food, but they will need to adjust and go on.
Comshaw

 

[Madison]

Blue--
I promise that when I'm done packing up your juke box, your burberry umbrella and scarf, the jacket you wore last night, and all of your books...I will write a killer (oops) speech for your funeral.
I prefer not to think about life without you, because you are, in fact, such a large part of my life. However, please remember that the more you leave me, the better your speech will be.
I love you!
Madison