I am unhappy about my personal relationships with Lit members

[April]

What a mouthful, eh? But it's true.

I feel like a failure. I get all happy when I get a PM, but when I start to write out a reply, I get sad. I don't know what to say. I want to ask question, want to know things about them. But it's none of my business. I figure that if they want me to know, they would tell me.

And on the other hand, I've distanced myself from almost everyone. Mostly I don't have the emotional energy anymore. I see them on the buddy list, and on the IM list. And I think, hey, so and so is on. Great! The next thought is, what to talk about. My day to day life is mundane and boring. They interest me, but I have nothing to offer these days. It makes my very sad. I feel like a black hole. Sucking in everything and giving nothing in return.

Some have stopped talking to me. I think it's me. Something I've said wrong. Maybe I wasn't entertaining enough. Bored them to sleep? LOL

Anyway. I don't want pity. Just wanted to get it out there. I'm sorry that I suck as a friend.

 

[Debbie]

Hello. I am debbiexxx.
Ask me almost anything you like.
I am listening and can never have enough friends.
You don't suck that is why I respond to your threads.

 

[riff]

Don't worry about it. I suck pretty much too.

Not really.

Why haven't you PMed me about this? But be careful- I might pull a needy male literotican on you and start PMing you too much.

 

[Starfish]

Whatever.

You are awesome April. I admit I've not really thought too much of what you and I could talk about in private but I think you are really cool. We've talked on the bb in a familar way and it is all good. You are really part of the lit family so I would worry too much about no one appreciating your being here and not being personal with everyone.

I am personal with all of three to five people, and only one day to day. The whole idea is that we all get to know each other little bit by little bit on the bb. I've learned a lot about you from the board.

Chin up honey. I think more people here feel like they can talk to you pretty easily and well.


Or, Maybe you just intimidate everyone! Just kidding.

 

[riff]

Good morning Starfish. Remind me to share some of my drawing on the board sometime.

 

[kotori]

don't worry about being boring--your friends' lives probably aren't any better, and real friends revel in the minutia of each other's existance. asking someone what's for dinner can be the start of an hour long conversation.

 

[Debbie]

Good morning Starfish. Remind me to share some of my drawing on the board sometime.

Yes, please. Drawings.
I love your kitties.

April, you are not a failure at all. I love interacting with lit but only closely interact with a few, Lit is expanding big time. (Sometimes we all feel the way you do. )

 

[April]

I wouldn't mind a needy Literotican male. Hell, I feel like a needy Literotican female these days.

Shit. Spelling mistakes. Man, I disappoint myself.

 

[IrishWolfhound]

I'm probably just in a bitter mood. Or a wistful one. Consider yourself fortunate if you don't get too involved. Distance saves pain. In retrospect I think I'd rather have been lonely than feel the way I feel today.

 

[mokum13]

Hi April,

It's like reading my own thoughts. I have the same feelings. I always hold back posting or sending someone a pm because i know the other is not interested. Due to this BB it's getting a bit better but still...

Just wanna say i will be here for you, wanting to listen whatever you have to say, no strings attached.

 

[April]

Kotori, what's for dinner?

 

[kotori]

Actually, I just had a fried egg for breakfast. First one in over six months (cholesterole). I'm all out of fruit (my usual breakfast), and someone's 'borrowed' my car so I haven't been to the grocery.

Where's PC to do a spell check?

 

[Debbie]

I'm probably just in a bitter mood. Or a wistful one. Consider yourself fortunate if you don't get too involved. Distance saves pain. In retrospect I think I'd rather have been lonely than feel the way I feel today.

However you feel today doesn't stop you from PM ing someone and saying hi.


Hi, April.

 

[lilminx]

Hi April- I'm with Debbie on this. Feel free to ask me anything you want. I like you- that's why I read your posts. Don't feel so lonely here- sometimes it's better not to get so involved with the goings-on of people here.

 

[pipercatt]

Hi April,

I kind of feel the same way you do, which is another reason why I'm not posting too much lately.

However, I also feel like Debbiexxx, so I thought I'd say hi and say I'd be happy to learn more about you. We can exchange PM's about our equally boring lives, I'm sure!

Be well..

 

[Sandia]

It is amazing how far off from reality people's perceptions can be. Perhaps some of the people with the most to offer can be the least likely to share it...



What's up with that?

 

[sexy-girl]

april i understand what you are saying actually i mean i get on well with quite a few people on literotica but i dont know much about their private lives because well its private i guess

but sometimes i feel like asking "so tell me about your life" but i know i shouldnt really but i enjoy the friendships i have on here anyway

 

[Guest]

April,

I would, happily, chat with you. Even if it's about the size of my left, big toe.
I think you're hard on yourself. But, you are cool to me!

 

[PepperminTrish]

I feel like a failure. I get all happy when I get a PM, but when I start to write out a reply, I get sad. I don't know what to say. I want to ask question, want to know things about them. But it's none of my business. I figure that if they want me to know, they would tell me.

What if these people don't tell you things about themselves because they aren't sure that you want to know. They may just be waiting for you to ask them.

I'm abolutely horrible at asking questions but I'm working on that. It isn't easy but if I hadn't tried, I would have missed out on so much already.

Feel free to PM me anytime. I bet my life is much more dull than yours.

 

[Starfish]

Good morning Starfish. Remind me to share some of my drawing on the board sometime.

You should do this right now, or at your soonest convienence.
I would really like to see them.

 

[Orwell84]

Hi April. Sorry you're having a down day, or feeling in a blah mood. I'm kinda new here and really don't know anyone. You have a lot of posts, so I would guess you've been around for a while. From some of the posts above, it seems you are well regarded. I have seen some of your posts, and don't think you should be so down on yourself. Anyway, I hope your day improves and that you have a good weekend. Feel free to PM or email me anytime. It doesn't matter if you really don't have anything particular to say. I too often feel like I don't have much to say, and that's probably how a lot of people feel about themselves. Anyway, wasn't the Seinfeld show really about nothing, and look how well that went over.

 

[Dillinger]

April, I think you're great and I consider you to be a friend.

Perhaps I'm one of those who doesn't seem to be around much? I'm seldom on MSN these days because I'm often working at the same time I'm here posting and I find MSN to be too demanding of my time. On the board, in PMs, and in eMail I can choose when to respond. But MSN is IN YOUR FACE - its a real-time conversation and I find that I start to fall behind on work when I'm on MSN.

 

[RudeNastyAssBitch]

It's Funny, This Thread.

I Spoke To My First Lit Member Yesterday And I Was Completly Empty In The Conversation Deparment!

I Would LOVE To Supply You With Totally Useless Information About My Life, April!

Worry Not Sweet Sauce!

 

[Don K Dyck]

What a mouthful, eh? But it's true.

I feel like a failure. I get all happy when I get a PM, but when I start to write out a reply, I get sad. I don't know what to say. I want to ask question, want to know things about them. But it's none of my business. I figure that if they want me to know, they would tell me.

And on the other hand, I've distanced myself from almost everyone. Mostly I don't have the emotional energy anymore. I see them on the buddy list, and on the IM list. And I think, hey, so and so is on. Great! The next thought is, what to talk about. My day to day life is mundane and boring. They interest me, but I have nothing to offer these days. It makes my very sad. I feel like a black hole. Sucking in everything and giving nothing in return.

Some have stopped talking to me. I think it's me. Something I've said wrong. Maybe I wasn't entertaining enough. Bored them to sleep? LOL

Anyway. I don't want pity. Just wanted to get it out there. I'm sorry that I suck as a friend.

Hi April. Everybody goes through periods where they feel uncertain about what they are doing and where they are going. It is frequently a good opportunity to stop briefly and just evaluate exactly what it is you see happening in your life, to choose to change from what you are at present to what you want to be in the future.

Whether we as individuals like it or not, the world prefers happy people who project a positive "go get it" image, "energy is everything"!! There is no doubt that you could choose to make these changes and choose to make them reality. But only YOU can choose, and only YOU can make them reality. We are, naturally, responsible for ourselves, and experience suggests that allowing ourselves to like ourselves precedes allowing ourselves to like others. Projecting a warm welcoming image attracts new friends and a smile improves your face value.

Be kind to yourself. lol

 

[Sandia]

Whether we as individuals like it or not, the world prefers happy people who project a positive "go get it" image, "energy is everything"!!


I hate happy people.

Energy is nothing.

Truth is better than fiction.

Projection leads to unsatisfactory, unhappy, shallow, meaningless relationships.