I am posting my first poem

[pale_fire]

I hope I am doing this right:

One sex
I have heard that we are both the same
Their concavity is our extremity
Our tip, their nub

In the hot soak of the lonely tub
My breath deepens
I stiffen from touches more subtle than most
Inner hips, calves, forearms

In the warm flickering light I gaze down
Is my foreskin a rearrangement of her protecting outer lips?
I miss those lips
Their warmth
I stiffen fully

By balls, her eggs
My cock tip, her red nub
My precome, her come

I miss
I twitch
I carress

Extended, my outer lips are taut, up and down
My shiny tip
My red
Our shinyness

Tugging and nudging
My tiny cunt opens
Winking open like a smiling eye
I see a fold, a bridge inside

I tickle it
A new way to walk towards coming
No I sprint
Caressing my newfound cunttip

I miss her less

When I cum I will gaze
As close as I can
Because I want it all.

 

[WickedEve]

Balls and eggs. I think you covered everything in this poem.

These are lines are really original:
I see a fold, a bridge inside
A new way to walk towards coming

 

[pale_fire]

thanks for commenting

So are you saying it is a lame poem, but a good start, and it had a few hits for you?

 

[WickedEve]

Re: thanks for commenting

So are you saying it is a lame poem, but a good start, and it had a few hits for you?

I didn't really read it well enough--at the moment. But those lines caught my eye and I think it's an interesting image. I like that part.

 

[Christina O. Leigh]

mmmm

Indeed, very interesting

 

[Du Lac]

first poem..learining..

I agree with Eve..

These are lines are really original:
I see a fold, a bridge inside
A new way to walk towards coming

which is alway a good start.. many new poems and poets do not come up with one line that is original... I have to rewrite many times it seems.... originality to see something and describe it totally of ones own vision ... new ... differently with insight to another realm... I really like A new way to walk towards coming.. that one really got me... good work..

I would heighten the meaning with short jabs....then work into more...the first part I would do as:... (just me and how it made me feel...)

one sex
both the same,
tip,
nub,
concavity
extremity
different
the same
filled
to be filled
desire
need
miss her
no
yes
whose to know
so I hear
both the same
desire
fills
quiet the flame...
Du Lac

 

[Du Lac]

Some Anais Nin for Pale fire...

PF.. the first part is mine... the rest is all her.. hope you enjoy
blessings
Du Lac
More Anais Nin
I have let life of this world take over... anxiety of moving through mortal realms with deadlines, expectations, lack of sleep and solitude creates tidal waves in my soul. No time to dream or write I wait now for the colors of desire to filter into my life again. All to soon I hope, this living in the material world does nothing for the soul. I dare not forget the reds and oranges that vibrate the air with silents screams to live. Feel the embrace of a crisp autumn day, enveloped within frosty fingers. These things pass too fast. This is what enriches our life and makes our suffering worthy of the experience. The highs and lows of living, chaos and serenity dancing partners of desire..... I leave you with more Anais Nin...
Love
Du Lac Oct. 14 2004

From Anais Nin...The House of Incest
The morning I got up to begin this book I coughed. Something was coming out of my throat: it was strangling me. I broke the thread which held it and yanked it out. I went back to bed and said: I have just spat out my heart. There is an instrument called the quena made of human bones. It owes its origin to the worship of an Indian for his mistress. When she died he made a flute out of her bones. The quena has a more penetrating more haunting sound than the ordinary flute. Those who write know the process. I thought of it as I was spitting out my heart. Only I do not wait for my love to die." from House of Incest

"My first vision of earth was water vieled. I am of the race of men and women who see all things through this curtain of the sea, and my eyes are the color of water." from House of Incest

"The leaf fall of her words, the stained glass hues of her moods, the rust in her voice, the smoke in her mouth, her breath on my vision like human breath blinding a mirror." from House of Incest

"There is no mockery between women. One lies down at peace as on one’s own breast." from House of Incest

"From all men I was different, and myself, but I see in you that part of me which is you." from House of Incest

"Your lies are not lies Sabina. They are arrows flung out of your orbit by the strength of your fantasy. To destroy reality. I will help you: it is I who will invent lies for you and with them we will traverse the world." from House of Incest

"I am enmeshed in my lies, and I want absolution. I cannot tell the truth because I have felt the heads of men in my womb. The truth would be death-dealing and I prefer fairytales. I am wrapped in lies which do not penetrate my soul. As if the lies I tell were like costumes." from House of Incest

"I looked upon a clock to find the truth. The hours were passing like ivory chess figurres, striking piano notes, and the minutes raced on wires mounted like tin soldiers. Hours like tall ebony women with gongs between their legs, tolling continuously so that I could not count them. I heard the rolling of my heart-beats; I heard the footsteps of my dreams, and the beat of time was lost among them like the face of truth." from House of Incest


More Anais Nin

 

[Bwoi]

good poem

 

[annaswirls]

Balls and eggs. I think you covered everything in this poem.

These are lines are really original:
I see a fold, a bridge inside
A new way to walk towards coming

what a nice comment! And you got a little slammed by it by the reader! How bizarre! Why would someone take a compliment and spin it into an insult.

so curious is human nature yes?