Very_Bad_Man
Evil Genius Incognito
- Joined
- May 15, 2011
- Posts
- 7,348
I am infamous.
In 1979 at the age of 16 years I "borrowed" my grandpa's pickup truck. With six other boys we went to a construction site and stole a portapotty at 2 am in the morning.
Driving down the streets of Philadelphia at 2 am dragging a portapotty by a chain seemed like a good idea at the time. About 20 minutes into this caper three police cars surrounded me bring this adventure to an abrupt halt. My friends bailed and got away. I was to scared to do anything but sit in the truck and shit my pants.
This very large police officer walks up to my window and says, "Boy you have to be the dumbest son of a bitch I have ever seen". My reply was to cry because my fear of the cops was less than my fear of my mother. An Italian mother on the warpath is a fearful thing.
About a month later I was in a conference room with the portapotty rep, DA, public defender, arresting officer, judge, our parish priest and my mother to plead guilty. I had to confess to the judge what I did. I was trying to put my own spin on things to put myself in the best light when next thing I knew my head was bobbing around like a dashboard dog. I was seeing stars and my face was aflame. My 5'2" mother had given me a full on face slap. My mother tells me, "Son I dearly love you but if I hear the tone of a lie come out of your mouth again I will surely kill you when I get your scrawny little ass home". At that point I could not confess fast enough. I however refused to rat out my friends.
The portapotty rep told the judge no substantial harm was done and by what he saw of my mother I am being punished enough. The crime was reduced from theft to Criminal Mischief. I was sentenced to washing and waxing the fire depts equipment four weekends in a row as community service.
When this caper hit the local paper I was given a nickname. Yes I here and now admit. I am the "Portapotty Bandit"
Oh the humanity
In 1979 at the age of 16 years I "borrowed" my grandpa's pickup truck. With six other boys we went to a construction site and stole a portapotty at 2 am in the morning.
Driving down the streets of Philadelphia at 2 am dragging a portapotty by a chain seemed like a good idea at the time. About 20 minutes into this caper three police cars surrounded me bring this adventure to an abrupt halt. My friends bailed and got away. I was to scared to do anything but sit in the truck and shit my pants.
This very large police officer walks up to my window and says, "Boy you have to be the dumbest son of a bitch I have ever seen". My reply was to cry because my fear of the cops was less than my fear of my mother. An Italian mother on the warpath is a fearful thing.
About a month later I was in a conference room with the portapotty rep, DA, public defender, arresting officer, judge, our parish priest and my mother to plead guilty. I had to confess to the judge what I did. I was trying to put my own spin on things to put myself in the best light when next thing I knew my head was bobbing around like a dashboard dog. I was seeing stars and my face was aflame. My 5'2" mother had given me a full on face slap. My mother tells me, "Son I dearly love you but if I hear the tone of a lie come out of your mouth again I will surely kill you when I get your scrawny little ass home". At that point I could not confess fast enough. I however refused to rat out my friends.
The portapotty rep told the judge no substantial harm was done and by what he saw of my mother I am being punished enough. The crime was reduced from theft to Criminal Mischief. I was sentenced to washing and waxing the fire depts equipment four weekends in a row as community service.
When this caper hit the local paper I was given a nickname. Yes I here and now admit. I am the "Portapotty Bandit"
Oh the humanity
Sweet Pea.
