I am feeling pathetic

[nakedangelina]

I can't seem to get myself out of this rut...
I am seeing (aka sleeping with) an exboyfriend of mine that now has a new girlfriend. I broke things off with him about a year ago. We have the most incredible sex, but other parts of our realationship cannot work out. In the end I knew the relationship was bad for me and broke things off. Now I have been seeing him again for a few months, and the girlfriend does not bother me because I do not want him in my life regularly today. (If he was not cheating with me it would be with someone else, cold to say but true in this case)
The problem is that it is such a letdown when I do not get to see him. The other problem is that I tend to keep myself open for him, thus not having a chance to start any new relationships.
It is pathetic, but I keep going round and round on this merry-go-round. I am lonley and continue to see him because of that, and because we have great sex.
Any suggestions? (besides the obvious - quit seeing him)

 

[lisalove]

I feel for you...There really is no other option other than to cut it quick & cold. Tell him it's over and change your phone number.

Now, don't go and marry the next guy that comes around. (like I did after a similar experience)..heal yourself, wrap yourself in self-love, friends, a class, writing whatever...just get rid of him.

 

[Ice Cold]

Well it seems, you pretty much have your own answers. But why make yourself open to him at all? He is the only one who is benefitting from all of this.

There are more things to look for than incredible sex. My question is you don't mind the other girl becuase you don't want him regularly in your life, so why get upset over the times he's not there.

If he is not going to be in your fututre, why get upset over him not being there other times?

I wish you the best of luck in resolving it.

 

[nakedangelina]

Thank you, Lisa. I know I should get rid of him, and I guess eventually I will get sick of it all.
Ice, the reason I am upset when he is not here is simple - because I am lonley and want SOMEONE here, not him in particuliar. He and I get along well, and I do care for him. It is an easy, comfortable situation. He fills a void. Period.

 

[Nora]

I have no words that'll make you feel better. You know what you need to do, and when you're ready you'll do it. There'll come a day when you're so sick of it, you'll break the rut on your own.

If it helps though, you have my sympathy (and empathy, for that matter!).

 

[nakedangelina]

Thank you, Nora. I have to get up some balls, and follow thru with it. And live with being lonley for a while, I suppose.

 

[Nora]

You're welcome, hon =)

The funny thing about it is that as soon as you make the decision to yank yourself out the door and back into life, the sooner you'll meet new people and stop feeling lonely. It's just that first step that's so damned hard.

 

[nakedangelina]

Re: You're welcome, hon =)

The funny thing about it is that as soon as you make the decision to yank yourself out the door and back into life, the sooner you'll meet new people and stop feeling lonely. It's just that first step that's so damned hard.

Damn, I had not thought of it that way. But you are probably right. I keep thinking that I will be sitting here, posting on Lit with my cats, all alone, forever. It is a depressing thought, but it does not have to be that way.
Thanks, Nora

(sorry, I am so down tonight it is unreal)

 

[Nora]

*looks at cats*

uh..then again, I might not be the best person to listen to! LOL!

But yeah, you'll do it when you're ready to do it. Don't worry about being blue. We're all there now and again.

 

[nakedangelina]

*looks at cats*

uh..then again, I might not be the best person to listen to! LOL!

But yeah, you'll do it when you're ready to do it. Don't worry about being blue. We're all there now and again.

hehehehe
I have four cats - too many!!!
(I love them all)
Thanks again...
I am closer to letting this thing go, soon, hopefully...