I am curious about sub/dom

[dirkdude]

I am curious about sub/dom. I own a boat. I throw pretty lavish parties on the boat some of which are very erotic and can last several days. My current girlfriend and I enjoy these parties the most. Recently I have been considering a week or two cruise with two or three submissive on the boat. My girlfriend may or may not join. She isn't sure yet.

I am also open to the possiblity that I am submisive instead of my initial impression that I am dominate. These answers may also help me to understand this.

I am not yet sure but I think that sometime this coming spring, I am going to take a couple of submissive out on the water and once they have completed their servitude, as a reward give them a week of cruising and lounging on the boat or in port anywhere in the Caribbean that they want to go.

But I have a few questions. It would be very helpful if a sub would answer these questions for me and my girlfriend. I would like to enjoy this experience with her. And if we understand more about it, maybe it will help her make up her mind.

When you read these questions there isn't any need to try to guess about what other sub's reasons or ideas might be. Just tell me what your experience and feelings are. so answer these as if you were asked the question directly.

1) What sensation or emotion causes the greatest attraction to the submissive role? Is it physical pain, maybe? Or maybe the sexual gratification that pain enhances? Or is it an emotional humiliation from being instructed to do something humiliating? Or is it a feeling of being unable to control what will happen to you in the next few hours? I am sure that it is a combination of several but which on is the MOST interesting to you?

2) More on humiliation. Is it pleasurable or intriguing or maybe not those at all but instead some sort of need to be required by a master to expose yourself in front of strangers or be bound and submit to other party goers gazes and random gropes? Or do you rather that your humiliation and/or exposure be limited to your master?

3) Do you have only one master and will not submit to another? Or do you submit to multiple masters at different times?

4) Is your master someone you met and grew to trust, does he/she have some qualities that physically or emotionally attract you to him/her in a romantic way and the submissive behavior is just a sexual thrill? Or do you chose a master as you would chose a sexual partner, sampling as many or as few as seem fun and fulfilling to you?

5) What are your limits? Is it thrilling to you to be pushed to the very limit, feeling totally dominated with the only limit be any sort of permanent damage? Or do you keep limits far more comfortable than that? Does the trust you have in the master effect how far you set your limits?

Posts or emails are welcome.

Jerry

 

[rosco rathbone]

Oh to be a dominate and own a boat.

If you need a pervy dominate deckhand, my man, I work for hardtack and grog. I can tie a bowline and a clove hitch and I don't mind holystoning the decks, painting the hull or scuppering out the bilge. I can mix a margarita and steer the Boston Whaler into the harbor when you need a case of Cristal, a trampoline, half a dozen grapefruits and a brace of albino stewardresses.

pituitaryadio@yahoo.com

 

[lark sparrow]

Hi Dirkdude

I don't think you've gotten submissive posts here yet because every submissive would answer your questions differently, which wouldn't be helpful, unless one wants to be interviewed for your cruise - it's really an individual matter. Though it does sound as though you've done a fair amount of reading already. Good luck and have fun

 

[bunny bondage]

well, the answers to your questions will vary depending on who posts. these are all very personal issues and we all feel differently about them, and about submission in general. i wish there was some easy answer, sorry! ^_^

 

[dirkdude]

Thank you for your responces.

I understand how these might be very differant for everyone. I was hoping that you might share just thought about your specific answer to one or more of the questions.

 

[bunny bondage]

1) What sensation or emotion causes the greatest attraction to the submissive role?

geez....wow that's tough. my very favorite part of being submissive would have to be....omg, this is just too hard. next question.

2) More on humiliation. Is it pleasurable or intriguing or maybe not those at all but instead some sort of need to be required by a master to expose yourself in front of strangers or be bound and submit to other party goers gazes and random gropes? Or do you rather that your humiliation and/or exposure be limited to your master?

if i feel safe in the situation, i'll do anything He asks infront of anyone. personally, i am an exibitionist, and i love being watched. the idea of strangers viewing a "punishment" is just SOOO exciting.

3) Do you have only one master and will not submit to another? Or do you submit to multiple masters at different times?

i limit my submissions to one person at a time.

4) Is your master someone you met and grew to trust, does he/she have some qualities that physically or emotionally attract you to him/her in a romantic way and the submissive behavior is just a sexual thrill? Or do you chose a master as you would chose a sexual partner, sampling as many or as few as seem fun and fulfilling to you?

my current "master" is someone that i met a while ago and was instantly attracted to. even though He was being a total asshole.
i wanted Him to bend me over and spank me right then and there. but of course, He didn't. so i got to know Him, we talk and share stories about ourselves and THEN he bends me over and spanks me.

5) What are your limits? Is it thrilling to you to be pushed to the very limit, feeling totally dominated with the only limit be any sort of permanent damage? Or do you keep limits far more comfortable than that? Does the trust you have in the master effect how far you set your limits?

we had a post which included this not too long ago. most everybody's limits were roughly the same and included

1.no animals
2.no kids
3.no corpses
4. no excrement
5. no permanant body mutilation

of course there are variations on those, and not everybody's are the same, but here are the basics that you're most likely to find. as for pushing these limits, thats a big NO. these are what's known as "hard limits" which means there's a snowball's chance in hell that the sub will even consider any of them. however, there are other limits, such as how much pain i can take, how long i can sit still without squirming away from punishment, and i do enjoy having the less serious ones pushed, tested, changed.

hope i've been of some help! ^_^

 

[SexyChele]

This is tough, but I'll try my best....

1) What sensation or emotion causes the greatest attraction to the submissive role? Is it physical pain, maybe? Or maybe the sexual gratification that pain enhances? Or is it an emotional humiliation from being instructed to do something humiliating? Or is it a feeling of being unable to control what will happen to you in the next few hours? I am sure that it is a combination of several but which on is the MOST interesting to you?

Being submissive is not an "attraction". It is part of who I am sexually. I derive pleasure from submitting sexually. That does not mean that I will do anything, anywhere. It means finding a man who is Dominant who shares the same kinks that I do and enjoying them together. Physical pain and humiliation might be parts of the equation, but not the whole, or even what drives me towards this. It has more to do with submission and giving control to another person.

2) More on humiliation. Is it pleasurable or intriguing or maybe not those at all but instead some sort of need to be required by a master to expose yourself in front of strangers or be bound and submit to other party goers gazes and random gropes? Or do you rather that your humiliation and/or exposure be limited to your master?

I'm not into public humiliation at all. I'm not into any public scening of any sort - including play parties. This is a very private and intimate part of me that I give to some one. I'm not a freak show to be put on display. (sorry, that is just my own opinion) Other subs derive a great deal of pleasure from the sorts of activities you describe. For me, they leave me cold. I have no objection to private humiliation, between my Dominant and myself. But it stays between us and in a private location.

3) Do you have only one master and will not submit to another? Or do you submit to multiple masters at different times?

As the saying goes: one cannot fully commit to several masters at the same time. (Or somthing like that) I may submit to a scene where there is a threesome, but that would be at the direction of my Dominant - and he would remain my Dominant, I would not submit to another.

4) Is your master someone you met and grew to trust, does he/she have some qualities that physically or emotionally attract you to him/her in a romantic way and the submissive behavior is just a sexual thrill? Or do you chose a master as you would chose a sexual partner, sampling as many or as few as seem fun and fulfilling to you?

I've not had many Dominants, but it is a person who I come to know gradually, respect, and admire. He must be physically attractive to me. There must also be emotional connectivity (not necessarily "love") between us. Typically, my submission is in the bedroom only, but there have been times when my actions in public have been dictated by my Dominant.

5) What are your limits? Is it thrilling to you to be pushed to the very limit, feeling totally dominated with the only limit be any sort of permanent damage? Or do you keep limits far more comfortable than that? Does the trust you have in the master effect how far you set your limits?

Hard limits (not willing to change or be "pushed"):
scat
children
animals
permanent harm/damage
knives
blood
public play/scening
public humiliation

There are many soft limits that I am either willing to discuss with the right Dominant or am willing to be "pushed" on.

My hard limits remain in effect no matter who my Dominant is. Pushing my soft limits would certainly depend on the trust I have in my Dominant, how long we were together, common goals, etc.

 

[lark sparrow]

1) What sensation or emotion causes the greatest attraction to the submissive role? Is it physical pain, maybe? Or maybe the sexual gratification that pain enhances? Or is it an emotional humiliation from being instructed to do something humiliating? Or is it a feeling of being unable to control what will happen to you in the next few hours? I am sure that it is a combination of several but which on is the MOST interesting to you?

Control/Power exchange. But I would not be with a Domme who had zero interest in exploring pain, as our needs would differ too greatly.


2) More on humiliation. Is it pleasurable or intriguing or maybe not those at all but instead some sort of need to be required by a master to expose yourself in front of strangers or be bound and submit to other party goers gazes and random gropes? Or do you rather that your humiliation and/or exposure be limited to your master?

It plays back into the power exchange - being humble or humbled.


3) Do you have only one master and will not submit to another? Or do you submit to multiple masters at different times?

I have never been with a Domme, who considered me hers, who would allow me to serve another or divide my submission between her and another Domme. If it is a casual relationship with no formal attachments then it is open.

4) Is your master someone you met and grew to trust, does he/she have some qualities that physically or emotionally attract you to him/her in a romantic way and the submissive behavior is just a sexual thrill? Or do you chose a master as you would chose a sexual partner, sampling as many or as few as seem fun and fulfilling to you?

my Mistress is someone who "earned" my trust and obedience. my feelings for her include romantic ones at this stage in the relationship.


5) What are your limits? Is it thrilling to you to be pushed to the very limit, feeling totally dominated with the only limit be any sort of permanent damage? Or do you keep limits far more comfortable than that? Does the trust you have in the master effect how far you set your limits?

Yes, it can be thrilling to have my boundaries pushed, but not my hard limits. Yes, trust very much plays into how far I am willing to let someone push my soft limits.

 

[k_girl23]

1) What sensation or emotion causes the greatest attraction to the submissive role?

Hmmmm this is a tough one. In fact at this time I am unable to answer, I will try again at another time when I have more time to think about it.

2) More on humiliation. Is it pleasurable or intriguing or maybe not those at all but instead some sort of need to be required by a master to expose yourself in front of strangers or be bound and submit to other party goers gazes and random gropes? Or do you rather that your humiliation and/or exposure be limited to your master?

I don't feel the need to be exposed at a party or to strangers, if that is what He wanted though then it is from his pleasure that I get pleasure. Trust is a big issue and trusting in Him enough to know that He won't do anything that He doesn't think I can handle. However it would take a long time to get to the point of wanting to be put on display in public, it is a private part of me that I would rather share with one Master and the people He choses, not random strangers.


3) Do you have only one master and will not submit to another? Or do you submit to multiple masters at different times?

One Master please

4) Is your master someone you met and grew to trust, does he/she have some qualities that physically or emotionally attract you to him/her in a romantic way and the submissive behavior is just a sexual thrill? Or do you chose a master as you would chose a sexual partner, sampling as many or as few as seem fun and fulfilling to you?

I don't have a Master at the current time so I can't be much help with this Sorry.

My limits are somewhat private at this time so I prefer not to answer the next question. I will say though that I have my hard limits that cannot be pushed as it shows a lack of respect if knowing my hard limits a Dom would still try to get me to do them. Other things I expect to be pushed on to learn more about myself, who I am as a person and what I am capable of doing.

 

[dirkdude]

These responces have been so helpful. I am hoping for more.

In fact, I was reading one of the stories in the stories section of literotica and something that bunny replied and something that chele replied all clicked. It gave me an idea for a mind bending sence involving a toy.

Thank you so much for your contributions.

Jerry

 

[MissTaken]

Spanking it to the top!

.

 

[AvaAdore]

1. there's no particular physcial act that draws me in. it is more of just me surrendering myself to the other person.

2. i dont know because i've never been sexually humiliated in public. the thought of, say, being spanked in front of other people (a small group only) is very arousing to me. i dont know if i'd have the guts to actually go ahead with it, but i'm new at this and there is plenty of time to experiment.

3. one is all i would ever want or need. in fact, i think submitting to someone else is a hard limit for me, not that i think my current SO would ask for it.

4. he's my significant other. we're in a sort of serious relationship, though it's fairly young. it is not based on BDSM. so really it's a "normal" relationship with kink.

5. my biggest limits are restricted to hygeine, but that has nothing to do with BDSM. for example, i wouldnt let him fuck me in the ass and then in the vagina without changing the condom. i also would not like to participate in any sort of gang-bang (though i would like to experiment with a threesome at some point, however 3 is the limit).

 

[WynEternal]

1) What sensation or emotion causes the greatest attraction to the submissive role? Is it physical pain, maybe? Or maybe the sexual gratification that pain enhances? Or is it an emotional humiliation from being instructed to do something humiliating? Or is it a feeling of being unable to control what will happen to you in the next few hours? I am sure that it is a combination of several but which on is the MOST interesting to you?


For me, I think it was the act of surrendering myself totally to someone whom I trusted. This is not something I can do with just anybody. I do not give my submission freely, but when I do, it is total. When I knelt beside my Mistress, I felt complete and at peace. When I first started, the thought of physical pain scared me. I didn't like punishments as a child (though some would laugh if they knew what my hobbies are and have been). I accepted the pain given to me because it was out of love and my pain pleased Her.



2) More on humiliation. Is it pleasurable or intriguing or maybe not those at all but instead some sort of need to be required by a master to expose yourself in front of strangers or be bound and submit to other party goers gazes and random gropes? Or do you rather that your humiliation and/or exposure be limited to your master?


When I was being played in front of people, they were never there to me. It was just me and Mistress. It was her pleasure that I be seen, but no one ever touched without her permission.

3) Do you have only one master and will not submit to another? Or do you submit to multiple masters at different times?


There's a saying that goes along the lines of "No one can serve two Masters." The same goes for me.

4) Is your master someone you met and grew to trust, does he/she have some qualities that physically or emotionally attract you to him/her in a romantic way and the submissive behavior is just a sexual thrill? Or do you chose a master as you would chose a sexual partner, sampling as many or as few as seem fun and fulfilling to you?


My former (and only) Mistress, we met and our relationship grew as we learned more about each other. I don't jump from one to the next, and didn't when I was dating vanilla.


5) What are your limits? Is it thrilling to you to be pushed to the very limit, feeling totally dominated with the only limit be any sort of permanent damage? Or do you keep limits far more comfortable than that? Does the trust you have in the master effect how far you set your limits?

hmmm will get back to this question later

 

[Red Menace]

Re: Re: I am curious about sub/dom

1) What sensation or emotion causes the greatest attraction to the submissive role?

I identify as a subbie because I'm attracted to the vulnerability. Ironically, it's also one of my biggest fears. I've also just always had a strong attraction to men who are in control and not afraid to exerrt their authority.


2) More on humiliation. Is it pleasurable or intriguing or maybe not those at all but instead some sort of need to be required by a master to expose yourself in front of strangers or be bound and submit to other party goers gazes and random gropes? Or do you rather that your humiliation and/or exposure be limited to your master?

I have a huge aversion to being exposed to others. The feelings of pain and pleasure are very personal and intimate to me and I have no desire to share that with anyone who has not taken the time to delelop a basis of trust and a relationship with me. I have played publicly before, both at small play-parties and at a private club, but only with the knowledge that I wasn't the center of attention and everyone else was involved with their own scenes.


3) Do you have only one master and will not submit to another? Or do you submit to multiple masters at different times?

I only serve one man. I wouldn't really call him my Master at this point... the relationship is still too new. While I may play with others on occasion, Sir is the one I ultimately submit to and others are merely an extension of him.


4) Is your master someone you met and grew to trust, does he/she have some qualities that physically or emotionally attract you to him/her in a romantic way and the submissive behavior is just a sexual thrill? Or do you chose a master as you would chose a sexual partner, sampling as many or as few as seem fun and fulfilling to you?

Sir is constantly working to build my trust in him and it's a continual effort on my part to submit to him. My trust has grown considerably and continues to grow as he proves over and over, that he is capable of and willing to protect, nurture and care for me. I'm attracted to him physically, romantically and emotionally. He is my SO, my Sir, my friend and my confidant. The sexual thrill is just a bonus. I chose him as I would a choose any other sexual partner - based on mutual sexual attraction and a compatable personality.


5) What are your limits? Is it thrilling to you to be pushed to the very limit, feeling totally dominated with the only limit be any sort of permanent damage? Or do you keep limits far more comfortable than that? Does the trust you have in the master effect how far you set your limits?

I have a lot of limits. The big three, (animals, children and scat), are hard limits, the rest are up for discussion as Sir and I feel we are ready to tackle them. It's not thrilling for me, although I suspect it may be for Sir. It's scary. Sometimes it's painful. It always makes me reflect on my mindset, my values, things considered to be sociatial norms and my personal issues, fears and preconceptions. Trust plays an enormous part in which limits we push and how far we push them. There's no way I'd do half the things I do with Sir with someone else who hadn't taken the time to build up that trust.

I wish all the best for you and your g/f and hope your cruise is everything you want it to be. By now you've had a number of replies and each one is different. D/s and BDSM is different for every couple and only defined by what is right for you. Explore, examine and most importantly, communicate.