I actually am the best driver in the world.....

[Sparky Kronkite]

I grew up in the semi-sticks - my old man was a former farm boy - I drove a stick shift '58 VW bug (my mom took delivery on one of the first in the country) at age 9 - on my dads lap. I was riding mini-bikes, go carts, and shifting small motorcycles by 12. License 16, school bus 18, multi-axle by 20, straight trucks 22', 24' 26 footers moving for Atlas Van Lines. Semi's next. And then Manhattan. I ride my motorcycle - a pretty good one capable of 130mph or so - in Manhattan all the time - simply a video game to me. I drive in Manhattan all the time. I can drink a tall Coors, eat a ham and cheese - shift gears - and talk on the cell phone - all of it at the same time in Manhattan. I'm in cabs all the time - supposedly the greatest drivers - haha - I can kill half of them. Yes some are great - but I rule. The driver of driver's.

The Driver's driver - Spark-o-master.

No brag just fact.

 

[R Nitelight]

Can you give me a ride to the mall?

 

[Deborah]

Sparky, quit shifting your dick and screaming "VAROOM!" That burning rubber smell is not squealing tires and peeling out. Look down, dude, you are jerking off in a condom.

 

[CreamyLady]

Okay. Yet another compelling reason to avoid New York.

 

[Svedish_Chef]

Oh that is brilliant deborah!

 

[Adoratrice]

damn...thats not what I meant to do....

will somebody please tell me how to post a picture saved on my harddrive so that this will make sense to the rest of you....pretty please with sugar on top...with no mean comments about where I should have looked for an answer.

[Edited by Adoratrice on 10-02-2000 at 08:14 PM]

 

[Cheri]

So what is it you do bad Spunky? Pick your nose? Make pancakes? Grow houseplants?

 

[Never]

Adoratrice.
You can't post pictures from your hard drive .. you have to upload them to a site and then link them to the board. E-mail me if you need more help.
Do you really want my computer to be rustling around in your hard drive anyway?

Oh, I'm one of the worst drivers in the world. I've locked my keys in my car three times, left the lights on twice, ran into a curb and busted a tire while going 2 mph, ran into an enormous metal pipe because I forgot to turn my headlights all the way on, had people hit their brakes cause I merged on the highway a foot in front of them... I won't even tell you what happened the first time I drove my car back from the dealership alone..
And I've only been driving for three months.

Which reminds me; you may be an excellent driver, but remember, I could be the fellow driving next to you.


[Edited by Never on 10-02-2000 at 11:01 PM]

 

[Siren]

Well to quote Dustin Hoffman in the movie Rainman.....

 

[Wizard]

Sounds like Rain Man........................"I'm a very good driver"

 

[Merelan]

My 2 cents...
Sparky...
if you are doing all those things and driving... you are not a good driver.

 

[Ambrosious]

Hey Spark,

You want to open a driving school here in Atlanta? God knows we could use one, or two.

 

[Deborah]

Anybody hear Howard Stern this morning? Sparky was busted for driving while impaired. Funny thing, he wasn't drinking or doing dope. But he should be out of the slammer soon and back to impress us with his impairment.

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

Yes Cheri, I do many things badly......

All those things that are meaningless to me.......

I suck at scrabble. Can't do magic tricks or juggle even though I've been attempting both for years.

I've never mattered the yo-yo either.

My guitar playing, though very unique and creative leaves much to be desired (from my point of view) you can never know too much guitar - I know very little.

I like to do better in the exercise/physical fitness area and oral hygiene. Skin care too - need to use more cream - age wrinkles you know.

I can't cut hair worth shit. And I'd like to draw and paint much better than I do - someday I will.

My spelling blows - as you all know and I know nothing of grammar, syntax, or style - other than my own which is like puking words on a page. Not very eloquent.

And as you all know - I know nothing of this here beige box and how it works or much about the Net and all that shit.
I could learn a lot more about this here thing.

I am far from perfect. Remember perfection is unattainable but highly desired. I just like myself that's all.

 

[Guest]

When I was sixteen.....

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

Go girl!!!!

I think Cops let women off lighter for the most part. I gotten three tickets in one day before - stupid shit and bad luck. Or good luck (at one of those pull over's I had a sawed off .22 bolt action rifle on the front seat and the Cop said nothing) depending on how you look at it.

Once I was taking my Norton for a trip to OC (Ocean City) Maryland. End of summer. I see these guys tooling slow on big Honda 4's with stupid ape hangers on'em. I decide to show'em some Brit twin power and torqued it on up this two-laner through those flat MD corn fields.

I blew past them loud and kept going - I hunched over the tank - put my left hand on the left down tube and tucked everything that was catchin' wind as best I could.

Last speedo reading I could make out through my tears - was 110. Eventually I slowed down to putt. 20 minutes later this cop pulls me over. He says. "Man! What kind of bike is that? How fast were you going? It took me twenty minutes to catch up with you!!!" He's been hiding still in a corn field and it took him that long to get to me.

He wrote me for 80 in a 60 - just under wreckless - nope, never paid that one neither.

 

[Guest]

Female... Sparky, well maybe?

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

Yeah naked!!!!!

Me too - been well known to get naked at the drop of a hat. Still do but only in the right places. Never really streaked though. Wish I had.

 

[Guest]

OKAY! You twisted my arm...

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

Yeah but, yeah but, yeah but????

What happened when you got back to the hot tub?

 

[Guest]

We watched XXXX Movies and......

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

Wow!!! LL

Wish I was there - maybe I could have helped you young friend with her virginity thing. Not too young I hope. Hey, how young? Now I'm curious. And as for you - two guys - my wife's favorite exercise too.

 

[Expertise]

Fantastic mental image #2364

Tiger striped panties!?

Lioness you cheap slut!

 

[Guest]

Yes, yes! I was the tramp back in those days!