Husband and a Girlfriend

juliejewel

Virgin
Joined
Jul 22, 2004
Posts
7
Hi Everyone! I am writing for two reasons: 1) I want to believe that it is possible to have a great relationship with your husband while having an awesome girlfriend relationship too. 2) I have tried this and think that it is possible to achieve but I haven't found the right person.

Here's my dilemma: I have a husband who does not want to participate in a threesome. And, I don't want him too either. He loves the idea of my having a special girlfriend relationship and coming home and telling him all about it. Where I went wrong this time was I found someone who really didn't have a family life. She became super-needy and wanted me all the time. She was also bicurious and I was her first. To top it all off, although I was definitely attracted to her and grew to care about her, the intimacy wasn't all that great and also, we really didn't have that much in common. After her meltdown, it just got worse. I have to admit, maybe it's selfish BUT I have enough daily drama in my life from my husband, kids, life in general. If I am going to choose to have a girlfriend I want it to be fun and exciting and have no b.s. associated with it. I cry enough tears over my husband and real life, I do not need to be crying over my girlfriend! Does this make sense? I guess I am looking for another mom or wife. Someone that understands the demands of life/family/husband/kids, etc. and who also wants a special friend.

So, I ask you , is it possible ?????? If anyone has any thoughts, please email me at [ mod edit: e-mail address removed ] I would love to hear from you!
 
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That sounds kinda familiar :) You have the right of it there, find someone who has life commitments and wants to see you for the fun stuff and not to burden each other with every little thing.

Good luck with the search.
 
I'm in the exact same situation. I think the trick is to hook up with another married/ committed woman who has a completely supportive spouse, but finding one you connect mentally, emotionally, and physically is a difficult task! Difficult, but not impossible. Best of luck to you in your search!
 
Of course it's possible, sweetie. Keep trying. You're halfway there, after all. I'm sure there were times when you thought you'd never find the right man, yes? We're all rooting for you!
 
Communication

I am only curious as of yet, and part of my fear of proceeding w/ experimenting had come from Fear of attachments and involvement beyond sexual enjoyment. I have posted questions relating to how to bring in a 3rd person and definitely Clear Communication on expectations w/ both us the couple and the 3rd person is a consensus

Clear communication and expressing your desires and expectations. Be sure that you have been clear on whether you are looking for 'just sex' or some what of a definition on the relationship you two will have. Be sure that person knows that you are Not looking to leave hubby or fall in love; and when things seem to be proceeding in that direction on her part Address it right away.

I believe there are women out there who want to experience the same experiences. I love my hubby and family life and have never had the desire to be w/ a woman in a "Relationship" But do have desires to enjoy and experience Sex with both male and female.

Good Luck..
:D
 
Yes, finding what you desire can be hard sometimes and definitely tests your patience! :) I believe you can find what you're talking about........I recently had a girlfriend who has a family life, job etc. and I am married, work etc. as well. We used to find it hard to meet up for time alone and then when we did get time together it went so quickly! :eek:

Things didn't really work out for us as girlfriends for various reasons, but I know from this experience that it is possible to find someone who isn't in need of you 24/7, who has a life of their own to live and who likes to enjoy some "fun" stuff with you :)
 
Well, from the male perspective. My ex is bi and when we were together she did have sex with other women. It isn't anything that I was jealous of, she came home to me. We had discussed it and came to the conclusion that her sexuality included me and other women. It's just part of her and I accepted it as such. It was a part of her I couldn't touch and I never wanted to try to change her.

The only threesome chat we had that would have led anywhere was her fantasy. She wanted to be used doggy style while going down on a girlfriend. We both understood that I only wanted to touch her for anything sexual and that another girl would be there mostly for her although watching that would have been very cute.

It's funny, now she is with some guy that tries to control every aspect of her life and sexuality and she bitches to me about him. She had abusive history with men though from childhood and I suppose that she likes being the martyr.

Anyway, I rambled on.

Yes it is possible to find a girlfriend that will understand and respect your marriage. Kudos to your husband for not trying to use your bisexuality as an outlet for a typical male fantasy. Sex with a partner you are in love with is so much better than any kind of group fantasy. Unless you can be in love with two?

I just confused myself.
 
I understand where you're coming from. I've been balancing an intimate relationship with a friend of mine for over 5 years now. We'd been friends for nearly 4 years before we got intimate. And intially it seemed we enhanced our friendship no end.

But I got so pulled into a lot of her dysfunction and old relationship issues with her ex husbands, and frankly I needed a lot of emotional energy to cope with my issues at home with my own children. My husband, who is quite understanding about my needs, expressed some annoyance at constantly getting pulled away to be there for "her" leaving him to deal with our adolescents at times. Once she said she needed me to help face her life on a daily basis.

Fortunately we set some boundaries, and she got some counselling to help her stand by herself, with me by her side when I'm able; not me picking her up and carrying her.

Sadly, a lot of people feel they are not "complete" without a relationship which "fulfills" them.
 
Very possible

IHAVE TO GIVE MY 2CENTS ON THIS QUESTION.I HAVE THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS AND IT TOOK ME 40YRS TO GET THERE.

I MARRIED MY BEST FRIEND AND HE SAYS HE COULDN'T HAVE IT ANY BETTER HE NOT ONLY MARRIED HIS BEST FRIEND BUT SHE SHARES.

SO MY ADVICE TO YOU IS THE SAME AS THEY SAY ABOUT THE SECRET TOSUCESS!
START OUT SCRATCHING AND NEVER STOP!

ANGEL:
:devil:
 
Another possibility, if your guy really doesn't care to be there?

Lesbian swinging couples.

Trust me, this can work great!

My boy is the darling of the lesbian jetset, and I get the girly lovin'.
 
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