Hunting is for Homo's. No? Yep, it is!

[Sparky Kronkite]

Speaking of.....

I was in the mountains/woods of both PA and VA this weekend and of course the hunters were/are out in droves.

But what do they really do?

I see bunch's of'em standing around and kicking dirt and telling stories. All over the place - they're all dressed the same. They don't even have their guns in their hands.

What gives?

I hardly ever heard a shot and my moms house - right in the woods. I saw a dear bound across an open field, looking like it was running for it's life, which I'm certain it was - but no hunter's there in that field. Nope - they were all up the road just standing around - Jim Beam bottles gleaming from their back pockets - bit stupid grins on there faces.....

What's that about?

I think they're a bunch of but fucking country Homo's!

Hunting Homo's!!!!!!!!

 

[TN_Vixen]

shhhhhhhhhh, be berryberryqwiet

I'm homo huntin'. hehe

 

[R Nitelight]

Bugs: Duck season.
Daffy: Homo season.
Bugs: Duck season.
Daffy: Homo season.
Bugs: Homo season.
Daffy: Duck season. Shoot him now! Shoot him now!!!!!!!!

 

[Juliangel]

Sparky

I grew with plenty of redneck relatives that did just that as often as they could, except here in the south they also had mouths full of chewing tabacco (nasty stuff)

They never came home with much of anything but stories. I think it is because if they tried to shoot the deer everyone will know what a lousey shot they are

or they really do not have the balls for the kill and will not admit it, so they stand around talking instead.

 

[Ambrosious]

Bugs: Duck season.
Daffy: Homo season.
Bugs: Duck season.
Daffy: Homo season.
Bugs: Homo season.
Daffy: Duck season. Shoot him now! Shoot him now!!!!!!!!

Dang, you beat me to it!

Bugs: He does not have to shoot me now!
Homo: Yes he does! Shoot me now! Shoot me now!

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

I go by this one field......

It's huge and has a tree line running parallel to the main road. There are three groups of 4 or 5 hunters - one in each corner of the field and one at the middle point on the road. I expect they were waiting for some guys in the woods to flush out some deer - into the open field. But, what if one deepr pops out in the middle of the field and all the hunter's let loose - how do they know who shot the deer? It seems so, so weird to me.

 

[Guest]

Hunting? Right!

 

[Purple Haze]

Lars and Ole are out hunting, not together, but in the same field. They both fire at the same duck and an arguement ensues about who's duck it is.
"It's my duck, I shot it." says Ole.
"I shot the duck, Ole" says Lars.
"How about this idea," says Ole, "Let's kick eachother in the nuts, and whoever is left standing, gets to keep the duck."
"Sounds like a deal, Yah" says Lars.
"I'll go first." says Ole, and gives Lars a vicious kick in the cock. Lars doubles over, grimaces, groans, but doesn't fall down.
"Okay, it's my turn," says Lars, regaining his posture.
Ole says, "You can keep the Duck."

 

[Guest]

 

[RonG]

Let's see, these hunters go out in the woods in groups and cover each other in bodily fluids of animals. I bet Raymond Burr was raised in a hunting family.

By the way, how would you like to put that down on a resume, worked full time as a Deer Urine Collector?

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

How many hunter's........

Does it take to change a light bulb?

None -

The light bulb is never changed.....

Because they're never around the house.

 

[Deborah]

Hey Spark, did you ever think the reason the hunters were standing around shooting the shit instead of deer is that it wasn't legal yet? The legal season didn't begin until today, at least not in PA.

And RonG, you mentioned in another hunting thread a deer hunt on a little island on a river in PA. The only island on a river in PA is the one Lasher lives on. And it's dear not deer hunting that goes on in that neck of the woods. Actually, Ron, the place you spoke of a peninsula off Lake Erie called Presque Isle. They are having a shotgun deer hunt there again this year on Dec. 6,7 and 8. Anybody who wants to bag a mangy tick invested deer or get shot, that's the place to be. That peninsula has miles of roads and beautiful beaches and I almost got me a deer there a couple years ago while driving a little convertible with the top down. Talk about fresh venison. But I'd much rather smack them with my truck.

 

[Cyan BloodsBane]

Or they can't hit shit... and are just waiting fo rone to fall down..

 

[MunchinMark]

And it couldn't be that men just like to go out and get drunk and talk shit could it?

 

[CelestialBody]

 

[RonG]

And RonG, you mentioned in another hunting thread a deer hunt on a little island on a river in PA. The only island on a river in PA is the one Lasher lives on. And it's dear not deer hunting that goes on in that neck of the woods. Actually, Ron, the place you spoke of a peninsula off Lake Erie called Presque Isle. They are having a shotgun deer hunt there again this year on Dec. 6,7 and 8. Anybody who wants to bag a mangy tick invested deer or get shot, that's the place to be. That peninsula has miles of roads and beautiful beaches and I almost got me a deer there a couple years ago while driving a little convertible with the top down. Talk about fresh venison. But I'd much rather smack them with my truck.

The only island in the state of Pennsylvania located in a river? I didn't know Lasher lived on Three Mile Island. Explains a helluva lot . . .

Just kidding, I remember this story from probably a decade ago so I may have gotten a few facts wrong. After what happened to Judge Crater and Jimmy Hoffa, I will not be so foolish as to argue with you. Presque Isle is very beautiful, and I was there once in high school being a proud refugee of Cleveland. Definitely use the truck for deerpooning. Mercury Tracers don't fare so well . . .

 

[Roll-One]

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

and


Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

 

[Curious Guy]

Narrow minded, Sparky?

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

Actually, I am very open minded....

And......

I do own a shotgun - I like shooting it too - I have shot birds, crows only really, I hate fucking crows. I did, "enjoy the hunt," and reveled in killing the fucking thing. They had been vandalizing my trash bags.

And…..

I enjoy venison. Yum.

And......

I've been known to hang with the guys and partake in a little hip-pocket flasked libation.

However and so far…….

All I can write about is what I have directly experienced about hunting - which of course is not very much. I am simply reporting what I have seen. For humor's sake don't you know.

If.......

I pulled over, asked these hunter's questions, maybe even got invited out for an early morning hunt with some fella's - my hunch is that I might like it. But.......

That, as yet has not happened.

The thing is…..

I just don't know if I could ever feel very comfortable wearing a camouflage jumpsuit and orange hat. I think I'd rather take a stray round to the brain pan before I donned such a grotesque outfit.

 

[CelestialBody]

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

Delayed!!!

Slim butt in the heavens.