G
Guest
Guest
It's not a real test it is just for laughs
C.L.I.T. Comprehensive Lesbian Image Test
by Tori Joseph HUMOUR
In our culture, it used to be that a woman was either gay or she wasn`t.
Nowadays we have so many words to describe ourselves, it would take a
taskforce of PhDs in queer vernacular of the day, or a very skilled
clairvoyant to decipher them all.
WARNING - Do not confer with your significant other on answers. Doing so may
be detrimental to your relationship.
Match the following concepts with their definitions listed below.
_ born to be a lesbian
_ converted lesbian
_ lesbian by choice
_ bisexual
_ transsexual
_ fluid sexual identity
a) a former hetrosexual whi finally admitted her disillusionment, dumped her
husband & bacame a lesbian
b) a woman who possesses the yet to be found lesbian gene
c) only her surgeon knows for sure
d) a woman who has experimented with both males & females before deciding on
the better sex
e) a free spirit who wants her (beef) cake and Edith, Suzie, Mary and other
females too.
********************
Check all that apply
1. Hard butches
_ are domineering, controlling and intimidating hairy women with permanent
scowl lines embedded in their faces, who scare people on sight
- never commit, they only conquer
- are synonymous with stone butches, bull dykes, big foot and Neanderthals
- are led to believe they have power over women
2. Butches
_ are female Fonzies
_ are notorious for leading many straight women to convert
_ really do carve notches in their bed posts
_ make excellent charm school teachers
3. Soft butches
_ are wannabe butches who just can`t get the attiture right
_ are butches with sensitivity training
_ are butches who have been soaked in downy
_ all of the above
4. Hard femmes
_ are femmes who work out
_ are butches in training
_ are butches who look better in a dress
_ are femmes who have been burned by too many butches
5. Femmes
_ have fingernails and know how to use them
_ have the power and know how to use it
_ are infamous for bringing butches to their knees
_ enjoy being mistaken for being straight
6. Soft femmes
_ are femmes you can sink your teeth into
_ are femmes who need to join a heath club
_ are femmes who whisper a lot
_ are novices
7. Gender benders
_ are butches who wear evening gowns
_ look better in boxer shorts than most men
_ when packing, fill out the front of jeans better than most men
_ make everyone do a double take
8. Androgynous women
_ have both male & female characteristics
_ have neither male or female characteristics
_ are the undiscovered third sex
_ are transgenderists
**********************
Read the statements below & decide if each is true, false or you`d rather not
say...
_ Tops are preferably either butch or femme
_ Being topped by a femme is a peak experience for a butch
_ Being topped by a butch is redundant
_ The taller woman is always the top
_ Good tops are hard to find
_ Good tops are hard to tie down
_ Topps is a brand of baseball cards
_ Bottoms up is a contradiction in terms
_ Being a dime a dozen, bottoms are very cost effective
_ It is not fair to switch in the middle
_ A switch is a woman equally skilled with both hands
_ A switch is a woman who has trouble making up her mind
_ Switches do not really need a partner
_ A fiery woman who switches should be nicknames a "hot cross bun"
**********************
Check the correct answer
Conventional sex is called _ vanilla _ chocolate
_ strawberry _ rocky road
Sado-masochism is _ politically correct _ politically incorrect
_ a non-political _ a famous sumo wrestler
B&D refers to _ breakfast & dinner _ blind & deaf
_ a true, erotic experience
A submissive _ is a female submarine commander
_ takes it lying down
_ knows it`s better to surrender than fight
_ is a piece of writing sent for publication
Domination refers to _ a spotted dog _ having the upper hand
_ having the upper bunk _ a religious preference
**********************
Which of the following should we claim as part of our culture
_ a lesbian who has never been sexual with another woman
_ a lesbian who is celibate
_ a lesbian who sleeps with men
_ married women with understanding husbands
_ any variation of bisexuality
******************
Are you
_ happily single
_ unhappily single
_ happily married
_ unhappily married
_ monogamous by choice
_ non-monogamous by choice
_ celibate by choice
_ celibate by circumstance
_ a virgin by choice
_ a virgin by circumstances
Rank these fantasy dates
_ dating the diesel dyke
_ liason with the leather dyke
_ tryst with the tomboy
_ lust with the lipie (lesbian hippie)
_ fling with the femme fatale
_ loving with the luppy (lesbian yuppy)
_ adventure with the author
*********************
Scoring
If took the test, it indicates that you ....
_ are very secure in your knowledge of lesbian identities
_ are one of those perpetual student lesbians who thought the test was part
of the curriculum
_ are probably as confused as the rest of us, and seeking some enlightenment
C.L.I.T. Comprehensive Lesbian Image Test
by Tori Joseph HUMOUR
In our culture, it used to be that a woman was either gay or she wasn`t.
Nowadays we have so many words to describe ourselves, it would take a
taskforce of PhDs in queer vernacular of the day, or a very skilled
clairvoyant to decipher them all.
WARNING - Do not confer with your significant other on answers. Doing so may
be detrimental to your relationship.
Match the following concepts with their definitions listed below.
_ born to be a lesbian
_ converted lesbian
_ lesbian by choice
_ bisexual
_ transsexual
_ fluid sexual identity
a) a former hetrosexual whi finally admitted her disillusionment, dumped her
husband & bacame a lesbian
b) a woman who possesses the yet to be found lesbian gene
c) only her surgeon knows for sure
d) a woman who has experimented with both males & females before deciding on
the better sex
e) a free spirit who wants her (beef) cake and Edith, Suzie, Mary and other
females too.
********************
Check all that apply
1. Hard butches
_ are domineering, controlling and intimidating hairy women with permanent
scowl lines embedded in their faces, who scare people on sight
- never commit, they only conquer
- are synonymous with stone butches, bull dykes, big foot and Neanderthals
- are led to believe they have power over women
2. Butches
_ are female Fonzies
_ are notorious for leading many straight women to convert
_ really do carve notches in their bed posts
_ make excellent charm school teachers
3. Soft butches
_ are wannabe butches who just can`t get the attiture right
_ are butches with sensitivity training
_ are butches who have been soaked in downy
_ all of the above
4. Hard femmes
_ are femmes who work out
_ are butches in training
_ are butches who look better in a dress
_ are femmes who have been burned by too many butches
5. Femmes
_ have fingernails and know how to use them
_ have the power and know how to use it
_ are infamous for bringing butches to their knees
_ enjoy being mistaken for being straight
6. Soft femmes
_ are femmes you can sink your teeth into
_ are femmes who need to join a heath club
_ are femmes who whisper a lot
_ are novices
7. Gender benders
_ are butches who wear evening gowns
_ look better in boxer shorts than most men
_ when packing, fill out the front of jeans better than most men
_ make everyone do a double take
8. Androgynous women
_ have both male & female characteristics
_ have neither male or female characteristics
_ are the undiscovered third sex
_ are transgenderists
**********************
Read the statements below & decide if each is true, false or you`d rather not
say...
_ Tops are preferably either butch or femme
_ Being topped by a femme is a peak experience for a butch
_ Being topped by a butch is redundant
_ The taller woman is always the top
_ Good tops are hard to find
_ Good tops are hard to tie down
_ Topps is a brand of baseball cards
_ Bottoms up is a contradiction in terms
_ Being a dime a dozen, bottoms are very cost effective
_ It is not fair to switch in the middle
_ A switch is a woman equally skilled with both hands
_ A switch is a woman who has trouble making up her mind
_ Switches do not really need a partner
_ A fiery woman who switches should be nicknames a "hot cross bun"
**********************
Check the correct answer
Conventional sex is called _ vanilla _ chocolate
_ strawberry _ rocky road
Sado-masochism is _ politically correct _ politically incorrect
_ a non-political _ a famous sumo wrestler
B&D refers to _ breakfast & dinner _ blind & deaf
_ a true, erotic experience
A submissive _ is a female submarine commander
_ takes it lying down
_ knows it`s better to surrender than fight
_ is a piece of writing sent for publication
Domination refers to _ a spotted dog _ having the upper hand
_ having the upper bunk _ a religious preference
**********************
Which of the following should we claim as part of our culture
_ a lesbian who has never been sexual with another woman
_ a lesbian who is celibate
_ a lesbian who sleeps with men
_ married women with understanding husbands
_ any variation of bisexuality
******************
Are you
_ happily single
_ unhappily single
_ happily married
_ unhappily married
_ monogamous by choice
_ non-monogamous by choice
_ celibate by choice
_ celibate by circumstance
_ a virgin by choice
_ a virgin by circumstances
Rank these fantasy dates
_ dating the diesel dyke
_ liason with the leather dyke
_ tryst with the tomboy
_ lust with the lipie (lesbian hippie)
_ fling with the femme fatale
_ loving with the luppy (lesbian yuppy)
_ adventure with the author
*********************
Scoring
If took the test, it indicates that you ....
_ are very secure in your knowledge of lesbian identities
_ are one of those perpetual student lesbians who thought the test was part
of the curriculum
_ are probably as confused as the rest of us, and seeking some enlightenment
