Huge Predicament

Gord

a long way up
Joined
Apr 17, 2002
Posts
5,755
I got this from a good friend in South Africa

What should he do ?

I am a sailor in the South African Navy. My parents live in the suburb Woodstock and one of my sisters, who lives in Paarl North, is married to an Australian.

My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my two sisters, who are prostitutes in Greenpoint. I have two brothers, one who is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Palsmoor Prison, Cape Town, for the rape and murder of a teenage girl in 1994, the other is currently being held in the Bellville remand centre on charges of incest with his three children

I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in Seapoint and indeed is still a part time "working girl" in a brothel,however, her time there is limited as she has recently been infected with an STD. We
intend to marry as soon as possible and are currently looking into the possibility of opening our own brothel with my fiancie utilizing her knowledge of the industry working as the manager. I am hoping my two sisters would be interested in joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to prostitute themselves, it would at least get them off the streets and hopefully the heroin.

My problem is this: I love my fiancie and look forward to bringing her into the family and of course I want to be totally honest with her.




Should I tell her about
my brother-in-law being an Australian?
 
Funny funny ...haha!

So how does a Pommie take a shower???

Pisses into the fan..... :D
 
Bindii said:
Funny funny ...haha!

So how does a Pommie take a shower???

Pisses into the fan..... :D

Good one !!

I thought that you were Croatian any way.!!

Just thought I would say a BIG HELLO to all our OZie friends
 
Gord said:


Good one !!

I thought that you were Croatian any way.!!

Just thought I would say a BIG HELLO to all our OZie friends

No I'm an Aussie (living with a Croatian previously married to a Pommie).



VanB said:
Hello Bindii

Got any more good Pommie jokes?;)

Hey Vanb - long time no see...you been avoiding me???

Where does a Pommie hide his money?


Under the soap :D
 
Bindii said:


No I'm an Aussie (living with a Croatian previously married to a Pommie).





Hey Vanb - long time no see...you been avoiding me???

Where does a Pommie hide his money?


Under the soap :D

Oh I C

Heh thats the second joke about our washing habits / we do wash honest.......reaching for his bar of Imperial Leather
 
Gord said:


Oh I C

Heh thats the second joke about our washing habits / we do wash honest.......reaching for his bar of Imperial Leather

Oh alright no more bathing jokes.....





English Rugby

The England team's training session was delayed on Wednesday for nearly two hours at Twickenham.
One of the players, while on his way back to the dressing room happened to look down and notice a suspicious looking, unknown white powdery substance at the end of the field.

Coach Clive Woodward immediately suspended practice while the Police were called in to investigate.

After a complete field analysis, the Police determined that the white substance, unknown to the players, was the try line. Practice was resumed when the officials decided that it was unlikely that the team would encounter the substance again.

Boom Boom!





English Jesus

Why wasn't Jesus born in England?
Because they couldn't find three wise men and a virgin!

:D
 
Last edited:
Another Aussie here... trying hard to laugh at your joke Gord, but not succeeding. :D

Like Bindii, I was married to a pom too.
 
Ladybird said:
Another Aussie here... trying hard to laugh at your joke Gord, but not succeeding. :D

Like Bindii, I was married to a pom too.

Nice to meet another Aussie that had a little bit of Pommie in her sometimes.....:D

And now I'm divorced.....doo dah, doo dah, doo dah doo dah day!!:)
 
Bindii said:



Hey Vanb - long time no see...you been avoiding me???

Where does a Pommie hide his money?


Under the soap :D

Bindii

No chance would I avoid you, you gorgeous Aussie - just not been around.

Nice to see that lovely ass in your AV;)
 
VanB said:


Bindii

No chance would I avoid you, you gorgeous Aussie - just not been around.

Nice to see that lovely ass in your AV;)

So you went out and got yourself a life huh?
 
Originally posted by Bindii
Nice to meet another Aussie that had a little bit of Pommie in her sometimes.....:D

And now I'm divorced.....doo dah, doo dah, doo dah doo dah day!!:)

Yeah... a little bit of Pommie infrequently...

... and soon I'll be divorced too.. doo dah, doo dah, doo dah day!
 
Ladybird said:


Yeah... a little bit of Pommie infrequently...


Lucky girl.....I wasn't so lucky.

Nothing like laying back and thinking of old mother England huh? :D
 
Bindii said:


Oh alright no more bathing jokes.....





English Rugby

The England team's training session was delayed on Wednesday for nearly two hours at Twickenham.
One of the players, while on his way back to the dressing room happened to look down and notice a suspicious looking, unknown white powdery substance at the end of the field.

Coach Clive Woodward immediately suspended practice while the Police were called in to investigate.

After a complete field analysis, the Police determined that the white substance, unknown to the players, was the try line. Practice was resumed when the officials decided that it was unlikely that the team would encounter the substance again.

Boom Boom!





English Jesus

Why wasn't Jesus born in England?
Because they couldn't find three wise men and a virgin!

:D


The rugby one was very good - must remember that

You can subsitute any nationality into the origiinal as long as they have a sense of humour , which you guys obviously do
 
Gord said:





You can subsitute any nationality into the origiinal as long as they have a sense of humour , which you guys obviously do

Well we try....lol

I don't suppose I should start on Cricket huh?:D
 
Gord said:


God no

*waves white flag *

Awww come on.......just one or two?

Q. What is the definition of optimism?
A. An England batsman putting on sunscreen.

Q. What do you call an Englishman with 100 runs against his name?
A. A bowler.

Q. What do English batsmen and drug addicts have in common?
A. Both spend most of their time wondering about their next score.

Q. What does "Ashes" stand for?
A. Another Sad Horrific English Series.

Q. What's the English version of LBW?
A. Lost, Beaten, Walloped.

Damn I've forgotten the others!

Thanks for being such a good sport...just joking here as you know.
:heart:
 
Bindii said:


Awww come on.......just one or two?

Q. What is the definition of optimism?
A. An England batsman putting on sunscreen.

Q. What do you call an Englishman with 100 runs against his name?
A. A bowler.

Q. What do English batsmen and drug addicts have in common?
A. Both spend most of their time wondering about their next score.

Q. What does "Ashes" stand for?
A. Another Sad Horrific English Series.

Q. What's the English version of LBW?
A. Lost, Beaten, Walloped.

Damn I've forgotten the others!

Thanks for being such a good sport...just joking here as you know.
:heart:


Heh I started it

and the sad thing is they are all true !!
 
Bindii said:


Nice to see you take as good as you give though. :)

My G/F is a Perth girl and her family are in Sydney........we are talking about going out , though have to make it legal between us so I get permit etc .....which is another story
 
extracting the urine eh Bindii

English Rugby

The England team's training session was delayed on Wednesday for nearly two hours at Twickenham.
One of the players, while on his way back to the dressing room happened to look down and notice a suspicious looking, unknown white powdery substance at the end of the field.

Coach Clive Woodward immediately suspended practice while the Police were called in to investigate.

After a complete field analysis, the Police determined that the white substance, unknown to the players, was the try line. Practice was resumed when the officials decided that it was unlikely that the team would encounter the substance again.

Boom Boom!




So you waited 'til I was down the pub watching England's soccer team before slipping this one in, cheeky. :mad:
 
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