How wide does it go????

[cloudy20746]

My s/o and I have been attempting to have anal sex and nothing works. I keep telling him he is too impatient and he says that when he is playing around the little man goes where he is used to going!!! So we always end up having normal sex.

I have purchased wet and he lubes himself up with it. I purchased a mint balm to numb my anus and instead it burned me and him!

My s/o is rather large, could it be that my anus just won't stretch to accommodate him????

 

[psyche]

My s/o and I have been attempting to have anal sex and nothing works. I keep telling him he is too impatient and he says that when he is playing around the little man goes where he is used to going!!! So we always end up having normal sex.

I have purchased wet and he lubes himself up with it. I purchased a mint balm to numb my anus and instead it burned me and him!

My s/o is rather large, could it be that my anus just won't stretch to accommodate him????

You are on the right track to use plenty of lube.....but I would not use anything that causes numbing, since you may hurt your ass and not even know it until later when it's too late to stop. The first time I had anal sex, it was enough into the session that I was very relaxed and very hot for him. I also have complete trust in my lover and knew that he would never hurt me, and it did hurt when we first tried. You may feel a burning sensation, especially when he first starts pushing in, if he stops when you tell him to, and you relax until the sensation goes away, he may be able to continue pushing in a little more........always use plenty of lube. Try to relax, knowing that he would stop at any time you say you've had enough. If you relax enough he should be able to start fucking your ass and you will feel the wonderful feeling of being fucked in the ass for the first time.........enjoy.

 

[Crimson]

if you haven't tried butt plugs or other anal toys already, i'd recommend starting with those.

again, good call on the copious amounts of lube. have you tried having him use fingers first, then moving to the main attraction?

you could also try bearing down a little, as if you're trying to push him out as he's pushing in. this helps some people too.

don't give up! it sounds like you have a wonderful, patient s/o. if you both want it, keep workin for it!

crimson

 

[Lust Engine]

Patience patience patience!

It seems as though you two are at least realistic about expectations and still manage to get off, even if it's in a "traditional" way.

I agree with trying the toys first. You can control the depth of that a lot easier and once you do get stretched & can relax a bit... hopefully it'll be easier for him.

Hang in there with it!

 

[SiliSusan]

I purchased a mint balm to numb my anus and instead it burned me and him!

Hun, even if this had not burned you and him, I would recommend to anyone they not use such a thing. Anal sex requires patience, lubrication, and also active listening to your body; and my caution is that that balm might inhibit your ability to listen to your body.

Another thing you should also try... once his little friend does get in, make very sure he stays very still, perhaps have him stimulate your clitoris or do so yourself? Have him do a gentle rocking motion but by all means have him hold back from full thrusting. That way, you will be able to handle his size, perhaps have a very nice orgasm, and then you will be well on your way.

 

[PennyG]

My s/o and I have been attempting to have anal sex and nothing works. I keep telling him he is too impatient and he says that when he is playing around the little man goes where he is used to going!!! So we always end up having normal sex.

I have purchased wet and he lubes himself up with it. I purchased a mint balm to numb my anus and instead it burned me and him!

My s/o is rather large, could it be that my anus just won't stretch to accommodate him????

You have heard the best two recomendations that anyone can give you; LUBE and PATIENCE. Trying to teach yourself to relax by using toys is another excellent idea. Try using a small toy and working your way up to a toy that approximates his size. It is like anything else.....practice makes perfect.

Another thing that I have found works for me is not trying to have anal sex at the onset of our love making. The more stimulation that I receive to my clitoris and vagina the more relaxed I become. When I am relaxed I seem to open up more for anal sex. When we have anal sex he often reaches under me and stimulates my clitoris while trying to gain entry and that has never failed to open me up easily.

Keep trying and you will succeed.

 

[Gilly Bean]

We experimented slowly, just a finger at a time, then two, kind of going in and out, and circling around. After a few sessions with that, we started applying a bit more pressure by having him insert just the head.

Take it slowly, your body has to get used to it, and it can take a while to do that. Don't try to force it all at once, it just doesn't work that way, at least, not till you are used to it.

Definatly use lube. Some like vaseline, with a thicker base, might work better, too, as it doesn't rub off as easily. Another way that helps loosen me is when he is going down on me, I will lift my ass in the air just a bit, and he will start fingering both holes while I'm nice and hot to begin with.

 

[Lust Engine]

I'd stay far away from the Vaseline. Not because it doesn't work well but it's a bitch to clean up afterwards and is NOT compatible with most latex condoms. Check out the other threads on the How To Board here on the use of lubes.

One other thing that I might suggest is that for first time anal, let the woman do all the driving. Only they know how much they can handle so let the women ease themselves into it and we men should be very thankful for them.

 

[warrior queen]

might i suggest that you try anal play on yourself first?
lead into it slowly, try just using one finger while you're masturbating, and let your body adjust to that.
then try one followed by another the next time.
perhaps introduce a few toys?
if you learn to relax and understand how your body is working when doing it yourself, you'll find it's a lot easier when your man becomes involved.
don't forget to use heaps of lube, and have fun!