How to...

[Hypoxia]

1: If a buddy is full of shit, tell them so.

2: Even alpha males can feel inadequate.

3: Human behavior is irreducibly complex. All simple models (including "alpha male" myths) are wrong. Simple "pop psychology" models may be suitable for fiction, but not for real life.

4: You may kiss my feet now.

 

[Que]

Not all alpha types are arrogant, egotistical, narcissistic jerks. I know people who are definitely take charge type personalities, but they aren't shitheads about it. They have a quiet confidence that just inspires people. And though they are in charge, they are also willing to get down in the trenches with their troops, so to speak. IMO, that's the mark of true leadership.

To suggest that all alpha personalities are assholes is as much of a gross over-generalization as it is to suggest that all women seek such characteristics in their partners. Just sayin.

Exactly...the stereotype of an asshole alpha male is just that...a dash of devil may care is called for. If you get CALLED an asshole..you probably are, and it is probably ineffective.

the OP's premise (which is full of shit) is that ALL women do NOT want "Alpha" males (as if he has any idea of what that is) so he makes the same wrong-headed generalization the other way...he leaves only "ALL women want beta-puke lick-spittle suck-up whiny men" I haven't met ANY women that want that unless one pays for the privilege.

The question of "cocky' versus "gentle nurturer" is age old.

The question properly is "Under what circumstances to the VAST majority of women prefer a cocky guy, and under what circumstances will the VAST majority of women settle for a guy that the feel safe and comfortable around."

Bottom line is a horny, sexually liberated woman looking for sex and no commitment will go for the cocky guy 99 out of 100 times. This is MUCH more apt to occur during fertile periods. All of the single mothers aren't being knocked up by the patient kind friend that has waited for her to "come around' <cough cough stalker.>

On the other hand a woman who has been burned by said cocky guy...maybe has a child there-from, is suffering the economic consequences there from...(and or has wisely OBSERVED that destructive cycle in a friend or family member) and is in need of comfort and companionship, a back-rub buddy as it were WILL seek out a 'safe' guy. If she is a great human being as her libido ebbs and flows and she feels the pull of some alpha male in the future she ignores that drive and stays faithful.

It isn't as if MEN don't exhibit the same kind of selective behavior when choosing a sexual partner. Men WILL an DO go for girls that they (and society) might well look down on for so called loose morals...the proverbial easy lay that they cannot imagine being the mother of their children.

Men do "settle" for a girl that might not excite them as much sexually as the wild one but perhaps SHE provides comfort, validation, makes him feel the white knight..

Both groups of people put themselves in moral peril when they lack integrity. Integrity is NOT a universal positive. It simply means your thought/heart/body are all in pursuit of the same objective.

If you are a woman that loves you some bad boy you can tame (or not), great! own it. Either decide you are good with a string of high intensity adventures with short duration, or really really work on your girl game to hold the attention of such a man...hint- lots of time in the gym, lots of be on call for HIS interests...

I and a LOT of men I knew used to believe as Beck does that if only we show unwavering devotion to our one twue wuv...she will respond with fawning adoration at our saint-hood...it doesn't work out that way. Women always like high value men. How else does the nest get built during gestation? Society doesn't value grasping little men with a chip on their shoulder about how they are better than other men that DO catch women's attention.

The whole "Man men want to befriend, and women want to fuck' stereotype wasn't created in a vacuum... people like that exist and they don't get that way by surrendering their testicles.

Just tell him that obsessing about alpha males is so beta. That'll shut his ass up.

Laughs...genius post.

I suspect though it is Beck who brings up the topic and simply butt-hurt that his friend (who may or may not consider his efforts alpha-like) is simply dispelling Beck's top from the bottom view of life.

I have friends who are very relationship-oriented guys and well aware of what it is that they would have to change in their approach if they WANTED the one-night stand, and CHOOSE to wait for a girl ready for comfort.

Women are AWARE that short skirts and low-cut blouses are more apt to attract guys. Not all of THEM are looking for a one-night stand either. Usually. So they CHOOSE not to play that up.

People are complicated, but not overly so.

 

[twister947]

This is sorta like arguing on the net, or talk radio. No one ever changes anyone's mind, so what's the point? If it makes you feel good to say it, you probably shouldn't.

All assholes are not type A, btw.

 

[bailadora]

This is sorta like arguing on the net, or talk radio. No one ever changes anyone's mind, so what's the point?

Personally, I enjoy the exchange of ideas. I may or may not agree with someone's POV at that point in time, but there's always the chance something they say plants a seed that later blooms when discussing the same topic with someone else. Something that expands and enhances what the first person may have said, that leads to an "Aha - now I get it" sort of moment.

 

[twister947]

^^^I don't disagree with you, at all, but what's under discussion here is less an exchange of ideas than a confrontation. I'm always looking for the profit, and I can't find any here.

 

[bailadora]

^^^I don't disagree with you, at all, but what's under discussion here is less an exchange of ideas than a confrontation. I'm always looking for the profit, and I can't find any here.

I think a lot hinges on a couple of things: 1) how the conversation is handled, ie not beginning or becoming belligerent while presenting one's case, and 2) how open the friend is to having his assumptions challenged.

If, indeed, the friend is totally close-minded, you may be right in that this is one conversation best left alone.

 

[silverwhisper]

eilan quoth:
just tell him that obsessing about alpha males is so beta. that'll shut his ass up.

this.



beck, you're worried you're gonna hurts his feelings? about telling him he's fulla shit for thinking women only dig alphas? do you somehow not see an inherent goofiness there?

ed