How To...

[Aellio]

I'm so sorry that you find yourself so attached to this man. The next 30 days will be hard for you. If you really and truly want to be there for him, you must arm yourself with all the tools necessary and essential to someone who wishes to be supportive, while not being enabling.

Don't be sorry. Though if you believe in prayer, please do so for me, if not I just ask for your continued best wishes.
Its not 30, it is 23 with good behavior. He should be out by the 27th, currently the jail has him projected for that date. Just 19 more days to go
Okay.. supportive, not enabling. That sounds difficult but I'd like to give it a try. I really want to be there for him. I don't however, want him to use me. I think that's what you mean yes? I can be there for him, but I can't let him use my support in what might be negative ways.

First, you must fully come to terms with his mental illness. While it is true that he has little control over his behavior when he's off his meds, spending some time listening and hearing what others have been through dealing with a bi-polar loved one, you may come to see that it is likely going to take many YEARS for him to be reliable on taking his meds. That my dear is the sad truth of bi-polar and while you may see yourself as the heroic loving girlfriend who stands by her man and through love alone will be the instrument of change, that is a romantic notion with no foundation in reality.

I am a bit of a hopeless romantic, and I do want to think the best of people. I am researching bi-polar, though its hard when I have actual school work to research for as well. When I go on break I will look more into it.

Find your local NAMI chapter and get to a meeting. Hear from others in your shoes the long road you seem determined to travel. Clearly you can't be swayed from your chosen course, at least arm yourself so you stay healthy. Remember what they say: "physician, heal thyself." That means if you wish to offer your healing arms, you must first be strong and healthy.

Okay. I can do that. I have looked into NAMI as per your suggestion, now I just have to find out when they meet and as long as I am not working that night. We do have a branch here (surprisingly enough )

"There was a man standing on the deck of a ship, out at sea in the dark of night. A storm blew in and tossed the man into the black rolling waves. He screamed for help. By some miracle, another group of men heard his scream. The tallest and strongest jumped into the sea in order to to rescue the fallen man. Those who remained on deck called to the crew, screaming; "Man Over-Board!" The crew arrived and by yet another miracle, they spotted the fallen man and tossed a life preserver out to him. They missed. Again and Again they tossed and during this time, his would be rescuer was taken under by a strong wave and was never seen again. Finally the life preserver reached the fallen man, he was told to grab hold so they could pull him in. But when they brought the life preserver into the boat, they found the man had let go. They called out and he answered.
"I don't want the white one, I want the yellow one!"
The moral of the story is two fold.
1, If you are going to play the rescuer, don't kill yourself in the process.
2, If you really need help, take that which is given.

Thanks for the good luck, the story, and the advice.