How to write sex without sounding cheesy...

[enjuedevi88]

I'm writing what seems to be a pretty developed story; good characters, simple, yet engaging plot, the whole nine. But I've gotten to the passionate, exciting sex scene and I just can't find a new way to describe the old act. It's all the same!
Does anyone have an idea on how to add interest to the situation? (They're middle class twenty-somethings about to do it on the hood of a car while waiting for a tow truck. They're both really attracted to each other, the guy has been obsessed with the chick for several months.)

HELP ME PLEASE! If ya wanna read the thing I'll send it to you, just HELP!

Love,
enjuedevi

 

[Weird Harold]

...I've gotten to the passionate, exciting sex scene and I just can't find a new way to describe the old act. It's all the same!

Concentrate on the passion and excitement, and minimize the physical descriptions.

I'm currently reading a (fantasy) book by Robin Hobb which includes several clandestine assignations. There is no explicit sex, but the passion the two characters feel for each other just shines through the inuendo and euphemisms.

 

[nitengale]

Less....is more

 

[circe!]

Me too...

I've been having the exact same problem with the story I'm working on. I feel like: Already read this, written that, no tee-shirt. I'm even bored beyond measure with the very limited availibility of words to describe genitalia.

What has helped inspire me before is to read some good, quality erotica from authors on Lit. Appreciating their work kind of jars me out of my own rut.

Good luck,
circe!
(Hey, I was born and lived most of my life in Northern CA, too, enjuedevi88!)

 

[Ulyssa]

Stay away from suspect character names

I've found that characters sound a lot less cheesy if you stay away from suspiciously cheesy names such as: Brie, Colby, Monteray Jack, or Baby Swiss.

Seriously the British novelist John Braine suggested that nobody is half as interested in the description of the act as they are in the PEOPLE who are performing the act. To paraphrase the NRA--"Sex doesn't give pleasure. People who have sex give pleasure."

[Edited by Ulyssa on 04-12-2001 at 05:39 AM]

 

[Sateema Lunasi]

I agree with what people have said, less is more. Describe the emotions, stick to plot. A story can be sensual and sexy without talking about what she felt as his penis slid into her. Strangely enough though, whenever I write a story, people tell me to "write more about the sex and the physical part." They say this even when I write hardcore porn, so who the hell knows what is right and wrong. Write what you think makes a good story. If the sex makes you feel it is cheesy, leave the sex out.

 

[Ulyssa]

Those readers!

A story can be sensual and sexy without talking about what she felt as his penis slid into her. Strangely enough though, whenever I write a story, people tell me to "write more about the sex and the physical part." They say this even when I write hardcore porn, so who the hell knows what is right and wrong.

For those of us who attempt to transcend the genre 'Those readers" are particularly frustrating--since the crux of what i write is interracial BMWF I get "1'd" by all the cretins who think the bulk of my text should read: "Suck on this black cock, you white bitch."

Talk about getting old fast! I got a self-righteous letter from a sociology student informing me that i was perpetuating the racist stereotype by making my African American male character a liquor store robber. But to my knowledge she never complained about any of the stories with the above quote.

Still I wouldn't enjoy writing at all if I couldn't experiment. If worse gets to worse always remember--No matter what we think, writing is never carved in stone. We can always do it better.

[Edited by Ulyssa on 04-12-2001 at 06:01 AM]

 

[enjuedevi88]

Sage words...

Thanks for the advice, everyone! (I used the less is more technique in the story I just posted, called "Perfect") This one seemed to be my best work yet, except for the damn inconsistancy about wine drinking that I forgot to take out. Uggh. I hate it when I think I'm done editing then I send something in with a big, fat, hairy blemish right on it's ass!

Cool that you know where I'm coming from, Circe! (Literally!

And thanks to Ulyssa, for your advice. I'm trying to experiment with my writing, another reason I decided to write erotica.

Oh, just for you lucky kiddies who read this, I'm reading an EXCELLENT book right now...very twisted but well written..called "Perv-A Love Story" by Jerry Stahl (Author of the book Ben Stillers' movie "Permanent Midnight" was based on, if you know of it.)

Oh, and another thing...how did some of you guys get those groovy little pictures next to your name? I wanna look cool too! (Directed toward Circe, who has one.)

Love,
Melissa

 

[1musicman]

more or less

i have been trying to get away from the obvious words and descriptive phrases in my latest effort and I have found that for me personally, the build up and relating just how sexy the situation is makes a difference! all the usual words used to decribe the situation seem to become just words unless the build-up and surrounding erotic elements are worthwhile. The idea of doing "it" on the hood of the car while waiting for the tow-truck brings a lot of good elements into play, there is the time factor ie just how long before the tow-truck gets there, the fact that it is on the side of the road and the participants could be seen by anyone passing by, these things seem to be what really makes the situation exciting, I have, by the way, beem wrestling with exactly the sort of thing you have and the above is my resolution to it. What I have done is laso make the sex act that they get into seem to be one that is really exciting in terms of the possible witnessing of it by whoever! I would love to read what you wrote by the way!

 

[enjuedevi88]

Wanna read?

If you'd like to read it, 1musicman, my story is called "Perfect" and it is on the new stories list as an editors pick! Woohoo!
Guess all that good advice paid off!

Love,
enjuedevi
I soooo HAPPY!!!

 

[Ulyssa]

Congrats on the E!

You have mail.