How to write a really awesome romance novel!

[LettersFromTatyana]

I stumbled across this article this morning.

http://thehairpin.com/2011/10/how-to-write-romance-novels

It's full of helpful hints like these:

Usually, you should let your characters know each for three fortnights before they get to exploring each other’s foldy places (for historical reasons, the basic unit of time for romance novelists is the fortnight). Any sooner than that, and you risk readers thinking your heroine is some kind of maniac. If your hero saves her from danger like organized labor, you can shave one fortnight off of that. If he's as handsome as Penn Jillette and has full equity in a dirigible, you’re down to a ha'fortnight.

I think it's safe to say this will totally revolutionize my writing. I hope others can glean as much knowledge as I did from the piece.

 

[jomar]

Pretty funny.

 

[stephen55]

John met Mary at the local library. A fortnight later...

 

[PennLady]

John met Mary at the local library. A fortnight later...

No, no, three fortnights later. Or six sennights.

 

[Handley_Page]

No, no, three fortnights later. Or six sennights.

Doubt it.
He looks like a Greek god and does not drink.
He's a vegetarian, has his nails clipped and polished regularly and . . . . .

 

[LettersFromTatyana]

John met Mary at the local library. A fortnight later...

Good job using the "J" consonant to emphasize masculinity, Stephen! I can see you learned something from the article, too.

No, no, three fortnights later. Or six sennights.

Doubt it.
He looks like a Greek god and does not drink.

Exactly. If we assume that John met Mary in the section of the library relating to dirigible-ownership, and that, like a Greek god, he "was tall and unconventional, with hair that hung from his body like curls of licorice that had been wiped with expensive olive oil," then a fortnight would be fine.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Exactly. If we assume that John met Mary in the section of the library relating to dirigible-ownership, and that, like a Greek god, he "was tall and unconventional, with hair that hung from his body like curls of licorice that had been wiped with expensive olive oil," then a fortnight would be fine.

*chuckles* - Eww. lol

 

[Stella_Omega]

I seem to be pretty cranky today, and some dweeby comedy dude telling women how to structure their own entertainment doesn't sit well with me just now.

On the other hand, the website is a really nice resource in general-- for women-- so thank you for the link!