Spinaroonie
LOOK WHAT I FOUND!
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2000
- Posts
- 17,721
Hello, Young Person, would you like to become involved in the profession of rapping? It's actually very easy! All you need is:
1. THIS guide
2. A harmonizer. You can get one for about $50K from mackie.
3. A 15-second instrumental track put on "loop"
All set? GREAT!
Let's get started.
First you're going to need some lyrics. Sound hard? Not to Professional Rap Star Nelly! All you need to do is take a remotely sexual phrase or drug related phrase (No heroin or marker sniffing please) that people can repeat. A lot.
Bad Example: I wanna wank myself until my hits you in the eye, then make you take a pregnancy test two weeks later! OhhhhhHHH!
Good Example: Girl, your booty is shakin', so I'm gonna stick you with my bacon. Ohhhhh!
Be sure to include your ohhh at the end. Now simply turn on your loop soundtrack and harmonizer machine. Now just start in when ready and speak your lyrics, then kinda sing them. You'll get the hang of it!
FAQs
Q: What the well does "Stick you with my bacon" mean?
A: Who cares? Your lyrics don't have to be intelligent or even make sense. You just have to have a mild sexual tone so 14-year-old white girls can sing at school and think they're "Hip Hop Cool".
Q: I can't sing. NO. Really. I can't. I was born with a voice box condition, yet, I too, want to become a professional rap star. Will this condition hinder my development?
A: NO. The harmonizer will make the appearance of singing when you're really not. Now go stick a white patch on your cheek like you have syphilis/AIDS.
Q: What's the deal with Corn Nuts? They're not Corn... They're not Nuts? Whhhaaat's the Deal? Who are these people?
A: Corn nuts were invented by a Danish scientist trying to make a cheaper form of MDMA to use during pet therapy sessions.
Q: Won't this method make all of my songs sound the same?
A: You're not familiar with Nelly, are you?
Q: Why does Nelly call himself Nelly when he's not the true Nelly?
A: You're right. He isn't the true Nelly. The true Nelly, Mr. Don Nelson, coach of the Dallas Mavericks is the real Nelly, however, we currently do not believe that the title of Nelly is like the title of "Highlander" although, we haven't seen the Highlander movie series at all.
1. THIS guide
2. A harmonizer. You can get one for about $50K from mackie.
3. A 15-second instrumental track put on "loop"
All set? GREAT!
Let's get started.
First you're going to need some lyrics. Sound hard? Not to Professional Rap Star Nelly! All you need to do is take a remotely sexual phrase or drug related phrase (No heroin or marker sniffing please) that people can repeat. A lot.
Bad Example: I wanna wank myself until my hits you in the eye, then make you take a pregnancy test two weeks later! OhhhhhHHH!
Good Example: Girl, your booty is shakin', so I'm gonna stick you with my bacon. Ohhhhh!
Be sure to include your ohhh at the end. Now simply turn on your loop soundtrack and harmonizer machine. Now just start in when ready and speak your lyrics, then kinda sing them. You'll get the hang of it!
FAQs
Q: What the well does "Stick you with my bacon" mean?
A: Who cares? Your lyrics don't have to be intelligent or even make sense. You just have to have a mild sexual tone so 14-year-old white girls can sing at school and think they're "Hip Hop Cool".
Q: I can't sing. NO. Really. I can't. I was born with a voice box condition, yet, I too, want to become a professional rap star. Will this condition hinder my development?
A: NO. The harmonizer will make the appearance of singing when you're really not. Now go stick a white patch on your cheek like you have syphilis/AIDS.
Q: What's the deal with Corn Nuts? They're not Corn... They're not Nuts? Whhhaaat's the Deal? Who are these people?
A: Corn nuts were invented by a Danish scientist trying to make a cheaper form of MDMA to use during pet therapy sessions.
Q: Won't this method make all of my songs sound the same?
A: You're not familiar with Nelly, are you?
Q: Why does Nelly call himself Nelly when he's not the true Nelly?
A: You're right. He isn't the true Nelly. The true Nelly, Mr. Don Nelson, coach of the Dallas Mavericks is the real Nelly, however, we currently do not believe that the title of Nelly is like the title of "Highlander" although, we haven't seen the Highlander movie series at all.
