How to stay mentally stable after reading a story?

[bilash]

I sometimes enjoy reading very perverse literotica. I can understand that what the characters are doing in the story is i) immoral ii) not consensual iii) manipulative
Yet, I end up fantacizing myself as the victim in the story, I enjoy being the helpless victim in my mind, all sorts of inhumane stuffs being done to me.

Then , after the orgasm ends, and a few seconds later I tell myself , " I didn't know I was such a masochist/sadist. I knew what the story was about, I knew it would be mental trauma thinking myself in these painful characters. Yet I did it anyway. Is this how you are in real? Will you really end up doing these fucked up shit in real life ? "

The experiences I'm facing , is it normal? I intentionally seek out stories which goes against my moral standards , I intentionally imagine myself as the victim of manipulation/abuse/etc etc in those stories, I get horny and after the deed is done, I become a Socrates / Aristotle , asking myself philosophical questions .
And it always ends with my ultimate decision : I WILL NEVER EVER LET ANYONE TREAT ME LIKE THAT.

 

[AlinaX]

What arouses us sexually is very often a reaction in opposite to who we are supposed to be in life. Or sometimes it is an echo of some traumatic/formative experience that we have no other way to process. As long as you can maintain a clear separation in your head between fantasy and reality, there’s no harm in enjoying perversion.

 

[NippleMuncher]

Most have a fantasy of being in situations that would otherwise be repulsive IRL. We all have our own reasoning behind the fantasy. Sometimes the fantasy wants to become reality in some form, though, usually we recognize that some things are best left undone.

As far as viewing content that would otherwise be repugnant, chalk it up to fulfilling your fantasy vicariously. You don't have to physically experience something to still get vicarious enjoyment from it. Just understand it for what it is and don't beat yourself up for the indulgence.