how to start swinging

[cmj0002]

My husband and I would like to experiment with other couples. How do you find couples who are willing to try swinging?

We have a pair of friends who are husband and wife, and they seem like they might be willing to experiment, but how do you start slowly, without being obvious about what you are trying to do? I don't want to force them to do it, just see if they would be willing without ruining our friendship - so I don't want to just go and ask them if they want to swing. It seems when we have alcohol, clothes seem to come off, and we end up making out (kissing and petting) with our respective partners while all four are in the same room, but that is about as far as it has gone. Ultimately, I want to switch partners, either with the other husband or wife, or both. Any suggestions?

Thanks for any help!
CMJ

 

[voetstep]

My husband and I will be in the same boat as you one day. We've talked about it, and he's open to it - I mainly want a 3-some w/ him and another woman, but couples-swinging would be just fine, too.

I imagine when we're both ready to "set sail", we'll look at the personals in a local paper on online...so far we don't really know anyone who would be ideal swinger friends.

 

[cmj0002]

Yeah, my husband and I have talked about it too, and we both want to try swinging. I think we have a good couple to start with, but I am not sur the other wife would be into it. I know the other husband would do it in a heartbeat, but the wife needs a lot of alcohol before she starts shedding clothes. She confides in me about things and we are best friends, I just don't know how to bring the subject of swinging up, or do I just make a move on teh two of them? If anyone has any ideas, please let me know.

CMJ

 

[voetstep]

ok - this goes back some time now (back when my husband and I were JUST beginning to start dating)...We were in our mid-20's and we were in the middle of a spell of doing ecstasy. I don't recommend, nor do I condone the use of this drug, but this is the fact as it happened...one of my best friends and I were in my boyfriend-to-be's room, sitting on his bed (a new year's party), and we were on E. She started telling me how she just adored him and couldn't get enough of the sound of his voice. I, too, was overjoyed w/ the relationship that was sparking between us; So, she and I started talking about having a 3-some. We had this great plan started, but we didn't ever finish talking about it.
It wasn't just E talk; we talked about it days afterwards.

One day, boyfriend and I were at my house and we had some E. I called up girlfriend (who lived in Oakland (we were in SF) and told her to come over - she knew why. So - a couple hours later, after a hellish BART ride, she showed up - IN HER PYJAMAS! She looked haggard and as she walked in, she complained of cramps and that she'd just started her period. It was an immediate red flag (no pun intended!) to put a halt to any 3-some plans. We dropped E anyway, and unfortunately, it had NO effect on her. My boyfriend was WAY too hot on the idea of getting it on w/ 2 women (his first time) and we both wound up pushing the envelope a little too far. My friend didn't feel the effect, NOR was the situation going according to our plan (which we never finished devising), so my boyfriend and I basically got it on in front of her. After a while, boyfriend got a little too pissy about her not participating and I stopped the play right then and there. He did not understand that if ALL elements aren't right, then it shouldn't be pursued, and that attitudes must be gracious and understanding and MOST of all, COOL. She went to bed (it was the middle of the day) and I wound up catering to BOTH their needs (his sexual, hers emotional). What's even worse, even though she and I don't talk about it anymore, to this day she SWEARS she heard us say something completely and utterly rude and insensitive (all the way from the very back of the house) and we wound up not talking for a solid year because of what she thinks she heard. Honestly, she was definitely hearing things. When boyfriend and I were alone, we really didn't say a single rude thing about her or the situation. I know I couldn't have because I wasn't angry/upset about the "plan" failing.

Present day: she and I are still best friends and she and her boyfriend and my husband and I all hang out very happily together.

Anyway, as for your lady friend, if you're having a couple drinks, perhaps start a conversation asking her what she thinks of your husband (is he good looking; if she were single and he were single, would she go after him?; has she ever been w/ another woman? what are her thoughts on getting together w/ another woman, etc...

Keep the topic on sex or sexy matters and feel your way around it...if it seems she's becoming uneasy w/ the questions, lay off.
don't push it. (give her another drink then ask her in half an hour! ha ha... just joking!)

 

[swinging]

We are in the same situation as you are would love to chat withyou about this and maybe we can help eachother out. email at stllouiss@aol.com

 

[Allison484]

My husband and I would like to experiment with other couples. How do you find couples who are willing to try swinging?

We have a pair of friends who are husband and wife, and they seem like they might be willing to experiment, but how do you start slowly, without being obvious about what you are trying to do? I don't want to force them to do it, just see if they would be willing without ruining our friendship - so I don't want to just go and ask them if they want to swing. It seems when we have alcohol, clothes seem to come off, and we end up making out (kissing and petting) with our respective partners while all four are in the same room, but that is about as far as it has gone. Ultimately, I want to switch partners, either with the other husband or wife, or both. Any suggestions?

Thanks for any help!
CMJ

A couple of swinger's websites are www.swinglifestyle.com and www.swingersdateclub.com Go, look at profiles, find someone who might be compatible, email them and go from there...

Good luck.

Allison

 

[FastFastr]

How to start swinging..... sit down, pull back on the ropes and pump your legs!

 

[Hexiegirl]

Good advice from Voetstep! Yeah, bring up the subject in abstract terms, rather than about someone specific. Cuz I know I might be uncomfortable admitting I was really attracted to a friend's wife or hubby if I didn't know that I wouldn't be looked down upon for it. Plus, we've kind of gotten around this by just kinda letting everybody know that we're kinky and into this stuff. That way if any friends are interested, they can seek us out too.

Voetstep: How the hell were you able to cum on E??!!! It's like being in a candy store in Hell! LOL

 

[voetstep]

Voetstep: How the hell were you able to cum on E??!!! It's like being in a candy store in Hell! LOL

Who says I came?! Honestly, I don't even remember if I did or not....I know what you mean, though....candy store in hell...that's a good one.